


Homobros Inc

by Mahkachan



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Group chat, I honestly feel dirty, Improved paperhat, M/M, Mahkachan has peaked, Sexual Themes, Texting I guess, You're Welcome, chatfic, gifs, kinkshaming, shitposting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-26 17:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 91
Words: 27,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12063516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mahkachan/pseuds/Mahkachan
Summary: Demencia created a group chat. It was an... interesting experience.





	1. February 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard Waifu: THIS IS BEAUTIFUL  
> Lizard Waifu: so many blackmail…  
> Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy: I fucking hate you both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what I'm doing actually  
> I also don't know if I'll continue this.

**[Admin Lizard Waifu created: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Lizard Waifu added: Dr. Gay]**  
 **[Admin Lizard Waifu added: Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy]**

**Dr. Gay:** Demencia, it’s 3 in the morning.  
**Lizard Waifu:** why r u awake then  
**Dr. Gay:** I have a deadline and I work hard, unlike you.  
**Lizard Waifu:** so your jacking off  
**Dr. Gay:** My jacking off what?  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** DEMENCIA WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS??  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** I AM NOT ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH THAT PATHETIC MEAT SACK IN ANY WAY!!  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** UNDO THIS RIGHT NOW!!!  
**Dr. Gay:** That’s not what you said last night, sir.  
**Lizard Waifu:** omg called it  
**Lizard Waifu:** 505 owes me 5 bucks  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** WHAT THE FUCK??!!  
**Dr. Gay:** I told you the chains were a bad idea.  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** Fuck you, the chains are the best part.  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** Shit, how do I delete a text?  
**Lizard Waifu:** yes blackie fuck him ;)  
**Dr. Gay:** Honestly, sir, you can hear those things from a 50 mile radius.  
**Lizard Waifu:** THIS IS BEAUTIFUL  
**Lizard Waifu:** so many blackmail…  
**Dr. Gay:** I personally love when Black Hat talks dirty to me.  
**Dr. Gay:** Because he’s awful at it.  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** FLUG I AM GOING TO CUT YOUR COCK OFF IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD  
**Dr. Gay:** Worth it  
**Lizard Waifu:** whats the point  
**Lizard Waifu:** theres nothing down there  
**Dr. Gay:** Hey  
**Lizard Waifu:** its true tho, i went thru bh’s pics  
**Lizard Waifu:** and yup he sucks at dirty talk  
**Dr. Gay:** I know right??  
**Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy:** I fucking hate you both.

 **[Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy left: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Lizard Waifu added: Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy]**  
 **[Admin Lizard Waifu changed Dr. Gay’s sugar daddy’s name to: Talkdirty2me]**  
 **[Admin Lizard Waifu changed Dr. Gay’s name to: Plane kink]**

 **Talkdirty2me:** Fuck off.

**[Talkdirty2me left: Homobros Inc]**   
**[Admin Lizard Waifu added: Talkdirty2me]**   
**[Talkdirty2me left: Homobros Inc]**   
**[Admin Lizard Waifu added: Talkdirty2me]**

**Plane kink:** My fucking head hurts.  
**Plane kink:** Just let him leave.  
**Plane kink:** Also I don’t have a plane kink anymore.  
**Lizard Waifu:** ‘anymore’???  
**Plane kink:** OH SHIT THAT WAS A TYPO  
**Talkdirty2me:** It was not.  
**Plane kink:** ET TU BRUTE  
**Plane kink:** YES IT WAS  
**Talkdirty2me:** So you’re telling me you don’t remember February 12?  
**Plane kink:** WE DON’T TALK ABOUT FEBRUARY 12  
**Lizard Waifu:** what happened on february 12????  
**Plane kink:** Absolutely NOTHING.  
**Talkdirty2me:** PM me.  
**Plane kink:** fuck you  
**Talkdirty2me:** Alright, but we won’t be doing the same thing from February 12.  
**Lizard Waifu:** february 12 is my favorite day now  
**Plane kink:** STFU ABOUT FEBRUARY 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are free to guess what happened on February 12.


	2. So fucking deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard Waifu: I found this super deep quote on tumblr  
> Plane kink: Oh boy, here we go…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 minutes till midnight.  
> I need sleep.  
> Also this was super short.

**[Admin Lizard Waifu joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Lizard Waifu:** guys  
**Lizard Waifu:** guys  
**Lizard Waifu:** guys  
**Lizard Waifu:** guys

 

**[Plane kink joined: Homobros Inc]**

 

  
**Plane kink:** What the fuck do you want, Demencia?  
**Lizard Waifu:** I found this super deep quote on tumblr  
**Plane kink:** Oh boy, here we go…  
**Lizard Waifu:** “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”  
**Lizard Waifu:** so fucking deep  
**Plane kink:** Demencia, this quote is from Spongebob.  
**Lizard Waifu:** wtf is spongebob

**[Plane kink left: Homobros Inc]  
[Plane kink blocked: Lizard Waifu]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually laughed when people used this quote on tumblr unironically.


	3. The sound of despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard Waifu: i heard the sound of despair  
> Lizard Waifu: whos the victim  
> Talkdirty2me: Dr. February 12.  
> Plane kink: I THOUGHT WE HAD GOTTEN OVER THIS FEBRUARY 12 SHIT

**[Plane kink joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Plane kink:** FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUCK

**[Talkdirty2me joined: Homobros Inc]**

  
**Talkdirty2me:** Are you that horny, doctor?  
**Plane kink:** There’s a motherfucking cockroach in my lab.  
**Plane kink:** I’m watching the motherfucker move around like it owns the place.  
**Talkdirty2me:** Kill it, then.  
**Plane kink:** I’m not getting near this motherfucking spawn of Satan.  
**Plane kink:** OH FUCKING SHIT THAT MOTHERFUCKER CAN MOTHERFUCKING FLY  
**Plane kink:** FUUUUUUUUCK  
**Plane kink:** Black Hat  
**Plane kink:** Black Hat please help  
**Talkdirty2me:** Why should I? This is getting interesting~

 

**[Admin Lizard Waifu joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Lizard Waifu:** i heard the sound of despair  
**Lizard Waifu:** whos the victim  
**Talkdirty2me:** Dr. February 12.  
**Plane kink:** I THOUGHT WE HAD GOTTEN OVER THIS FEBRUARY 12 SHIT  
**Plane kink:** Oh fucking no.  
**Plane kink:** The motherfucking reincarnation of evil is gone. I can’t see it anymore.  
**Plane kink:** I thought seeing the motherfucking cockroach was bad but not seeing it is fucking worse. That little shit could be anywhere. Fuck this.  
**Lizard Waifu:** this must become a series

 

**[Admin Lizard Waifu changed Plane kink’s name to: Flugbruary12]**

 

 **Flugbruary12:** Yup I am officially burning this house down  
**Flugbruary12:** It was great knowing you guys  
**Flugbruary12:** This place has become impure, that motherfucking hellspawn has contaminated everything.  
**Lizard Waifu:** yup he went crazy  
**Talkdirty2me:** Flug, if you damage my mansion I will find this cockroach myself and shove it up your ass.  
**Flugbruary12:** You can shove it wherever you want as long as you GET RID OF IT.  
**Lizard Waifu:** kinky~

 

**[Admin Lizard Waifu changed Talkdirty2me’s name to: Blackinky]**

**Blackinky:** You’re insufferable.  
**Lizard Waifu:** i know and i don’t care :)  
**Flugbruary12:** I HAVE SLAIN THE BEAST.  
**Flugbruary12:** I’d better get a motherfucking Nobel Peace Prize for this.  
**Lizard Waifu:** what? BOO **  
Lizard Waifu:** what a stupid ending  
**Lizard Waifu:** 3.2/10  
**Flugbruary12:** OH SHIT  
**Flugbruary12:** MOTHERFUCKING SHIIIIIIT  
**Flugbruary12:** THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING NEST OF COCKROACHES ON MY MOTHERFUCKING LAB  
**Lizard Waifu:** wow season 2 came real fast  
**Blackinky:** Fact number #34 about Dr. Flug: he uses the word ‘motherfucker’ a lot when he’s stressed.  
**Flugbruary12:** NO I DON’T YOU MOTHERFUCKER

 

**[Admin Lizard Waifu changed Flugbruary12’s name to: Motherfluger]  
[Motherfluger left: Homobros Inc]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am enjoying this way too much
> 
> Also this was based on a youtuber (shoutout to Cellbit, best person ever) who just hates cockroaches lmao


	4. Put your dick in it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizard Waifu: google it  
> Motherfluger: If you insist…  
> Motherfluger: Welp time to buy a new phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I still haven't finished the next chapter of SoL

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** I found this massive anthill while on my way to the grocery store.  
**Motherfluger:** (photo attached of a giant anthill)

 

**[Admin Lizard Waifu joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Lizard Waifu:** cool  
**Lizard Waifu:** put your dick in it  
**Motherfluger:** I’m not putting my dick in an anthill  
**Lizard Waifu:** thats what she said  
**Lizard Waifu:** nowait  
**Motherfluger:** … What kind of porn have you been watching?  
**Lizard Waifu:** futanari ;)  
**Motherfluger:** What the hell is that  
**Lizard Waifu:** google it  
**Motherfluger:** If you insist…  
**Motherfluger:** Welp time to buy a new phone  
**Motherfluger:** Thank you for contributing to my therapy bill

 

**[Blackinky joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Lizard Waifu:** (photo attached containing futanari porn)

 

**[Blackinky left: Homobros Inc]  
[Blackinky has deleted their account]**

**Motherfluger:** Look at what you did  
**Motherfluger:** It’s gonna take me one month of sexual favors to bring him back  
**Lizard Waifu:** try putting ur dick in an anthill  
**Motherfluger:** Why  
**Lizard Waifu:** maybe he’ll get turned on by it

 

**[Motherfluger blocked: Lizard Waifu]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I lived in the MLP world my cutie mark would be related to shitposting


	5. Dad joke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Motherfluger: I may be hallucinating from the sleep deprivation, but...  
> Motherfluger: … Did you just make a dad joke?

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Admin Lizard Waifu joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** I’m so tired.  
**Lizard Waifu:** hi so tired, im demencia  
**Motherfluger:** I may be hallucinating from the sleep deprivation, but...  
**Motherfluger:** … Did you just make a dad joke?  
**Lizard Waifu:** o snap  
**Lizard Waifu:** u know what dis means????

 

**[Admin Lizard Waifu changed their name to: Dademencia]**

**Dademencia:** this is the new me  
**Motherfluger:** This is why Black Hat doesn’t fuck you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boop


	6. I'm gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat: YOU’RE SUCH A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT  
> Motherfluger: sorry jefecito  
> Motherfluger: im high

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was gonna post this tomorrow but it's technically already tomorrow so HA
> 
> I also dunno why I sometimes post two chapters in one day don't question it

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Admin Dademencia joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** im gay  
**Dademencia:** da ba dee da ba daa  
**Motherfluger:** yo listn up heres a story  
**Dademencia:** about a litl guy dat lives in a gay world  
**Dademencia:** n all day n all night and everytng he sees is just g ay  
**Dademencia:** liek him inside n outside  
**Motherfluger:** gay his hose with a gay lil windo w  
**Motherfluger:** n a gay covette  
**Dademencia:** n everythig is gay fur him  
**Dademencia:** an dhimself n everyybody round  
**Dademencia:** cuz he aint got nobdy to listenn to  
**Motherfluger:** DA BA DEE DA BA DAA INTENSI FIEZ

 

**[Black Hat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Black Hat:** FLUG WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING  
**Black Hat:** WHY ARE YOU SINGING ‘I’M BLUE’  
**Black Hat:** AND WHY ARE YOU REPLACING ‘BLUE’ WITH ‘GAY’  
**Black Hat:** YOU’RE SUCH A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT  
**Motherfluger:** sorry jefecito  
**Motherfluger:** im high  
**Dademencia:** da ba dee da ba daa

 

**[Black Hat left: Homobros Inc]  
[Black Hat has deleted their account]**

**Motherfluger:** there he goes agan  
**Dademencia:** still thinkn bout putting ur dick in dat anthill??  
**Motherfluger:** no thats gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how high people act I've never been high before weed-wise
> 
> and height-wise ;-;


	7. Plot twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dademencia: my parents r dead  
> Black Hat: Well, think positively.  
> Black Hat: At least they didn’t get to see the disappointment you are today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoo guys I created a Discord acount (fuckin' finally I know).
> 
> So, uh, if you guys want an insufferable person to make you company just add Mahkachan#8031 or something. And no, I still don't know how to use Discord properly.

**[Admin Dademencia joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Black Hat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Dademencia:** do u guys ever look at a person and think  
**Dademencia:** their parents had sex  
**Motherfluger:** No.  
**Black Hat:** Yes, and at this very moment I wish your parents hadn’t had sex.  
**Motherfluger:** Oh shit  
**Dademencia:** jokes on u guys  
**Dademencia:** my parents r dead  
**Motherfluger:** Demencia, that’s not how ‘jokes on you’ works.  
**Dademencia:** jokes on u, my parents r still dead~  
**Black Hat:** Well, think positively.  
**Black Hat:** At least they didn’t get to see the disappointment you are today.  
**Dademencia:** JOKES ON U GUYS  
**Dademencia:** YOU ARE MY PARENTS  
**Dademencia:** PLOT TWIST  
**Motherfluger:** You’re adopted.  
**Black Hat:** We found you in the trash can.  
**Dademencia:** wow  
**Dademencia:** that means im one step away from bein a ninja turtle

**[Admin Dademencia changed their name to: Demnatello]**

**Black Hat:** You’re a walking condom ad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dem no


	8. Kinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demnatello: @Black Hat, if u guys divorce im always here for u ;)  
> Black Hat: I’d rather die, thank you.  
> Demnatello: ur welcome, babe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than I expected

**[Admin Demnatello joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Black Hat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** This is your fault, @Black Hat  
**Black Hat:** Fuck off, it’s not my fault your skin is shitty  
**Motherfluger:** My skin isn’t shitty  
**Demnatello:** ooh the couples fighting~  
**Demnatello:** @Black Hat, if u guys divorce im always here for u ;)  
**Black Hat:** I’d rather die, thank you.  
**Demnatello:** ur welcome, babe.

 

**[Motherfluger changed Black Hat’s name to: Asshat]**

**Asshat:** WHAT THE HECK  
**Asshat:** CHANGE THAT BACK NOW!!  
**Demnatello:** how did u do that, ur not an admin  
**Motherfluger:** Basic hacking skills and anger  
**Demnatello:** wat happened???  
**Motherfluger:** SOMEONE decided to use the fucking chains again and cut me  
**Asshat:** You said you were into that!  
**Motherfluger:** I am not  
**Asshat:** What the fuck  
**Asshat:** How can you NOT be into the chains  
**Asshat:** Go die  
**Asshat:** You’re a disgrace

**[Asshat left: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** Did I just get non-kinkshamed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya better believe it, Flug


	9. Knock knock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demnatello: i wanna tell you a joke  
> Motherfluger: Am I going to regret this?  
> Demnatello: ys

**[Admin Demnatello joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Demnatello:** flug  
**Demnatello:** flugbug  
**Demnatello:** flug-a-roo  
**Demnatello:** flug-chan  
**Demnatello:** fluggie  
**Demnatello:** plane-senpai  
**Demnatello:** february 12

 

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** What do you want, Demencia?  
**Demnatello:** i wanna tell you a joke  
**Motherfluger:** Am I going to regret this?  
**Demnatello:** ys  
**Demnatello:** but trust me  
**Motherfluger:** Fine.  
**Demnatello:** knock knock  
**Motherfluger:** Who’s there?  
**Demnatello:** daisy  
**Motherfluger:** Daisy who?  
**Demnatello:** DAISY ME ROLLIN, THEY HATIN  
**Demnatello:** AYYY

 

**[Admin Demnatello changed their name to: EDem Murphy]**

  
**Motherfluger:** Are you done?  
**Motherfluger:** Because I have a joke for you.  
**EDem Murphy:** oooh~  
**EDem Murphy:** go on  
**Motherfluger:** Knock knock.  
**EDem Murphy:** whos there  
**Motherfluger:** Blocked  
**EDem Murphy:** blocked who?  
**Motherfluger:** Blocked you.

 

**[Motherfluger blocked: EDem Murphy]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get rekt


	10. Cloning machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EDem Murphy: black hat  
> EDem Murphy: blackie  
> EDem Murphy: blackhat-senpai  
> Asshat: What  
> EDem Murphy: lets bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long lmao

**[Admin EDem Murphy joined: Homobros Inc]**

**EDem Murphy:** black hat  
**EDem Murphy:** blackie  
**EDem Murphy:** blackhat-senpai

**[Asshat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Asshat:** What  
**EDem Murphy:** lets bang  
**Asshat:** No.  
**EDem Murphy:** aw why not  
**Asshat:** On second thought…  
**Asshat:** I will ask Dr. Flug to make a cloning machine  
**Asshat:** And then make a clone of you.  
**EDem Murphy:** so u can have a threesome w me?? ;) ;)  
**Asshat:** No  
**Asshat:** So you can finally go fuck yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chemistry class was probably very interesting, but I didn't learn anything. Sorry to disappoint Mrs. Whatever your last name is.


	11. Havoc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EDem Murphy: i like avocados  
> EDem Murphy: theyre good to throw @ ppl  
> EDem Murphy: they fall like potato sacks  
> EDem Murphy: it’s beautifull

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** Hey Dem  
**Motherfluger:** Can you open the gate?

**[Admin EDem Murphy joined: Homobros Inc]**

**EDem Murphy:** sure bro  
**Motherfluger:** Thanks **  
EDem Murphy:** ya came home erly  
**Motherfluger:** Yes, unfortunately  
**EDem Murphy:** did somethin happen @ the confrence??  
**Motherfluger:** Two scientists had a disagreement  
**Motherfluger:** One of them got pretty aggressive  
**Motherfluger:** He  
**Motherfluger:** He started throwing avocados at us  
**Motherfluger:** Most of us managed to escape  
**Motherfluger:** It was… surreal  
**EDem Murphy:** i like avocados  
**EDem Murphy:** theyre good to throw @ ppl  
**EDem Murphy:** they fall like potato sacks  
**EDem Murphy:** it’s beautifull  
**EDem Murphy:** it musta been awsome  
**Motherfluger:** No, it was not ‘awsome’  
**Motherfluger:** It was a complete havoc  
**EDem Murphy:** so u could say it was  
**EDem Murphy:** a complete havocado

 

**[Motherfluger blocked:** **EDem Murphy]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate avocados lmao


	12. I am Groot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am Groot: i am groot

**[Admin EDem Murphy joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Admin EDem Murphy changed their name to: I am Groot]**

**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot  
**I am Groot:** i am groot

 

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** Are you Groot?  
**I am Groot:** no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> I saw this https://archiveofourown.org/works/2080878 and I had to do it


	13. Dildo day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am Groot: okay so i was thinking  
> Motherfluger: Don’t hurt yourself  
> I am Groot: SHUSH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a convo w/ Clovermun

**[Admin I am Groot joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Asshat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**I am Groot:** okay so i was thinking  
**Motherfluger:** Don’t hurt yourself  
**I am Groot:** SHUSH  
**I am Groot:** anyway  
**I am Groot:** we gotta have moar holidays  
**I am Groot:** so IM GONNA CREATE MOR HOLIDAYS  
**I am Groot:** we r gonna have demencia day  
**I am Groot:** and black hat day  
**I am Groot:** and dildo day  
**Asshat:** I like this last idea  
**Asshat:** NO WAIT  
**I am Groot:** omfg  
**I am Groot:** bh likes dildo day  
**Asshat:** I WAS TALKING ABOUT BLACK HAT DAY  
**Asshat:** YOU TYPED FASTER THAN ME  
**I am Groot:** yeah sure /s  
**Asshat:** I AM LEAVING

**[Admin I am Groot changed Asshat’s name to: Blackinky]**

**Motherfluger:** … I approve of Dildo day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I've had no internet for three days  
> worst weekend ever ;v;


	14. What is plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Motherfluger: Why did you change your name to Alzheimer?  
> Alzheimer: cause we all need chagnes  
> Motherfluger: The fact that you can spell ‘Alzheimer’ perfectly but not ‘changes’ is off-putting.  
> Alzheimer: thank u

**[Admin I am Groot joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Blackinky joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Admin I am Groot changed their name to: Alzheimer]**

**Motherfluger:** Why did you change your name to Alzheimer?  
**Alzheimer:** cause we all need chagnes  
**Motherfluger:** The fact that you can spell ‘Alzheimer’ perfectly but not ‘changes’ is off-putting.  
**Alzheimer:** thank u  
**Alzheimer:** also i wanna add someone to the group  
**Motherfluger:** May God have mercy upon their soul  
**Motherfluger:** Anyway, who do you plan on adding?  
**Blackinky:** Hopefully it’s not that hobo you had sex with last week.  
**Alzheimer:** hey robert is real nice k  
**Alzheimer:** he even used a condon so i wouldnt get aids  
**Alzheimer:** i mean it wasnt really a condom  
**Alzheimer:** he didnt have money to buy one  
**Alzheimer:** but a plastic bag from walmart was better than a condom anyway  
**Alzheimer:** we even used mayo as lube  
**Blackinky:** …You two do, in fact, deserve each other.  
**Motherfluger:** I’m aghast  
**Alzheimer:** did you die  
**Motherfluger:** What? No  
**Motherfluger:** Why would you even assume that?  
**Alzheimer:** bc of what u said idiot  
**Motherfluger:** …  
**Motherfluger:** Demencia, please tell me what you think ‘aghast’ means  
**Alzheimer:** those things that look like tablecloths with holes fur eyes duh  
**Motherfluger:** THAT’S A FUCKING GHOST  
**Motherfluger:** AGHAST IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING  
**Alzheimer:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**Blackinky:** Just die already.  
**Motherfluger:** She tried once.  
**Motherfluger:** The reaper eyed her and stabbed itself with its sickle.  
**Alzheimer:** i thought it was a mating ritual  
**Motherfluger:** Death itself would rather commit suicide than reap Demencia’s soul.  
**Blackinky:** So that’s why that bastard isn’t answering me on Whatsapp  
**Blackinky:** Motherfucker owes me 5 deaths  
**Motherfluger:** Why am I still here  
**Alzheimer:** bc u love us  
**Motherfluger:** No, I don’t.  
**Alzheimer:** ow  
**Alzheimer:** but i know that u do~  
**Motherfluger:** I am leaving  
**Alzheimer:** i’ll give u black hat nudes if you stay  
**Blackinky:** WHAT  
**Motherfluger:** Deal.  
**Blackinky:** NO  
**Blackinky:** DEMENCIA IF YOU DO THIS I’LL USE MY 5 DEATHS ON YOU  
**Alzheimer:** gg no re

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I still writing this


	15. Tetanus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alzheimer: how do u even beat tetanus

**[Admin Alzheimer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alzheimer:** how do u even beat tetanus

 

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** With vaccines, Demencia.  
**Alzheimer:** aight  
**Alzheimer:** how do i use it  
**Alzheimer:** is it a bonus item or  
**Motherfluger:** What?  
**Alzheimer:** u never played tetanus b4??  
**Alzheimer:** heathen  
**Alzheimer:** its a classic  
**Motherfluger:**... You’re playing Tetris, aren’t you?  
**Alzheimer:** hell no  
**Alzheimer:** i’m a healty person  
**Motherfluger:** Please tell me the difference between Tetris and tetanus, Demencia.  
**Alzheimer:** tetanus is some game w diffrent shapes n stuff  
**Alzheimer:** tetris is some disese  
**Alzheimer:** whos the scientist now bitch??  
**Motherfluger:** Not you, that’s for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is my life


	16. S.O.S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S.O.S: Has it always been like this?  
> Motherfluger: You bet

**[Admin Alzheimer joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Blackinky joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Admin Alzheimer added: S.O.S]**

**Motherfluger:** Welcome to hell, 5.0.5.  
**S.O.S:** ……..thanks  
**S.O.S:** now what?  
**Blackinky:** Now you suffer like the rest of us  
**Blackinky:** AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE CHANGE MY GODDAMN NAME  
**Alzheimer:** no  
**Blackinky:** FLUG  
**Blackinky:** MAKE HER CHANGE MY NAME  
**Blackinky:** THIS IS AN ORDER  
**Motherfluger:** Yes, sir  
**Motherfluger:** Dem, please change his name  
**Alzheimer:** no  
**Motherfluger:** Well I tried  
**Blackinky:** YOU DIDN’T TRY HARD ENOUGH YOU BLOODY PARASITE  
**S.O.S:** Can I leave now?  
**Motherfluger:** No.  
**Blackinky:** No.  
**Alzheimer:** no

 

**[Admin Alzheimer changed Blackinky’s name to: Black Hot]**

**Black Hot:** You misspelled my fucking name, bitch  
**Alzheimer:** did i ;) ;) ;)  
**Black Hot:** ARE YOU FUCKING IMPLYING SOMETHING  
**Alzheimer:** i wanna fuck u  
**Motherfluger:** Subtle  
**S.O.S:** Has it always been like this?  
**Motherfluger:** You bet  
**Black Hot:** Fucking hell  
**Black Hot:** Change my name, I prefer the previous one  
**Alzheimer:** k

 

**[Admin Alzheimer changed Black Hot’s name to: Fucking gay]**

**Fucking gay:** I AM LEAVING  
**Motherfluger:** Please don’t, sir  
**Fucking gay:** YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO GIVE ME A REASON NOT TO  
**Motherfluger:** I won’t have sex with you for a month  
**Fucking gay:** …. Compelling argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3 am and I should be sleeping rn


	17. Roll tide!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alzheimer: if you were inside ur mom and u r dad was inside u  
> Alzheimer: would u go forward or backwards  
> Motherfluger: Demencia, what the fuck

**[Admin Alzheimer joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Fucking Gay joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[S.O.S joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alzheimer:** if you were inside ur mom and u r dad was inside u  
**Alzheimer:** would u go forward or backwards  
**Motherfluger:** Demencia, what the fuck  
**Fucking gay:** I don’t have parents  
**Alzheimer:** id go all th way  
**Motherfluger:** WHO GAVE THIS ABERRATION A MOTHERFUCKING PHONE  
**Alzheimer:** if im gonna have a 3som w my folks then im gonna enjoy it  
**S.O.S:** ROLL TIDE  
**Motherfluger:** 5.0.5 no  
**Fucking gay:** I’m not quitting this chat solely because Flug has a nice ass  
**Motherfluger:** BLACK HAT NO  
**Alzheimer:**  although id push forward  
**Alzheimer:** cause vagenas r nice  
**Motherfluger:** that’s gay  
**Alzheimer:**  ur mom is gay  
**Motherfluger:** which one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found a "would you rather" question exactly like Demencia's and it made me think "what the fuck"


	18. ?????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alzheimer: 34543523  
> Motherfluger: 2341  
> S.O.S: 213  
> Alzheimer: 342

**[Admin Alzheimer joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Fucking gay joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[S.O.S joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alzheimer:** 9  
**Motherfluger:** 34  
**Alzheimer:** 21  
**Motherfluger:** 352  
**Alzheimer:** 54  
**Motherfluger** : 4  
**Alzheimer:** 34543523  
**Motherfluger:** 2341  
**S.O.S:** 213  
**Alzheimer:** 342  
**Motherfluger:** 663  
**S.O.S:** 5656

**[Admin Alzheimer blocked: Motherfluger & S.O.S]**  
**[Motherfluger blocked: Alzheimer & S.O.S]**  
**[S.O.S blocked: Alzheimer & Motherfluger]**

 

 **  
Fucking gay:**?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ?????


	19. Someone call Maury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alzheimer: hey flug guess what i found  
> Motherfluger: what  
> [Admin Alzheimer added: Flug’s mama]  
> [Admin Alzheimer added: Flug’s other mama]

**[Admin Alzheimer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alzheimer:** hey flug guess what i found

 

**[Motherfluger joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Motherfluger:** what

 

**[Admin Alzheimer added: Flug’s mama]  
[Admin Alzheimer added: Flug’s other mama]**

**Flug’s mama:** Hello darling :3  
**Motherfluger:** DEMENCIA WHAT  
**Alzheimer:** i found ur moms  
**Flug’s other mama:** Oh, don’t act so surprised  
**Flug’s other mama:** We missed you, Wolfgang  
**Motherfluger:** MOM NO  
**Alzheimer:** UR NAME IS FUCK IN G WOLFGANG  
**Alzheimer:** IM DYING

 

**[Admin Alzheimer changed Motherfluger’s name to: Wolflugang]**

**Wolflugang:** STOP IT  
**Alzheimer:** no  
**Flug’s mama:** Please Wolfie don’t be ashamed of your name  
**Flug’s mama:** It was your grandfather’s name  
**Wolflugang:** My grandfather molested me  
**Flug’s other mama:** Nichole we’ve talked about that  
**Flug’s mama:** Oh right  
**Flug’s mama:** WELL THE PAST IS IN THE PAST ANYWAY  
**Wolflugang:** Riiiight…  
**Alzheimer:** HEY  
**Alzheimer:** if u two r his moms how is flug here  
**Alzheimer:** dont u need a seaman or something  
**Flug’s other mama:** Semen, and yes.  
**Flug’s mama:** Do we tell them?  
**Flug’s other mama:** Go ahead, darling.  
**Flug’s mama:** Alright  
**Wolflugang:** Tell us what?  
**Flug’s mama:** Um, when we were younger we used to be very adventurous  
**Flug’s mama:** ……. Sexually  
**Flug’s other mama:** Yep, we would go to a lot of swinger parties and orgies and such  
**Flug’s mama:** On one of those parties you were conceived  
**Flug’s other mama:** Probably a swinger party iirc  
**Wolflugang:** ARE YOU TELLING ME I’M A FUCKING SWINGER BABY  
**Flug’s mama:** Yes  
**Flug’s other mama:** Yes  
**Alzheimer:** w OW  
**Alzheimer:** ur moms r awesome  
**Wolflugang:** oh my fucking god  
**Wolflugang:** I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THIS  
**Wolflugang:** Do you even know who my biological dad is??  
**Flug’s mama:** It could be either my doctor or James  
**Flug’s other mama:** Isn’t James your half-brother?  
**Wolflugang:** Yup, that’s it, bye.

 

**[Wolflugang left: Homobros Inc]**

**Flug’s mama:** Aw, he left so soon :(((  
**Alzheimer:** im still here  
**Alzheimer:** tell me more  
**Flug’s other mama:** Sure! Wanna see his baby pics?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iunno


	20. Do you hear the sound of a cricket?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolflugang: I think I know what’s going on  
> Wolflugang: We’re not going to die, Demencia  
> Alzheimer: L I E S  
> Fucking gay: Ugh, not this again  
> Fucking gay: We don’t even have fucking swing sets  
> Fucking gay: I set them all on fire when you started sprouting this bullshit

**[Admin Alzheimer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alzheimer:** YO FLUG

 

**[Wolflugang joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Wolflugang:** What? I’m busy  
**Alzheimer:** todays august 15 rigt  
**Wolflugang:** Yes…  
**Alzheimer:** watch out for cats  
**Wolflugang:** Cats?  
**Alzheimer:** ya

 

**[Admin Alzheimer summoned: @everyone]**

**S.O.S:** I was sleeping…  
**Fucking gay:** This had better be important  
**Flug’s mama:** Darling, we’re in Japan  
**Flug’s other mama:** It’s 4 am  
**Wolflugang:** WHY ARE YOU TWO STILL HERE  
**Flug’s mama:** Why not?  
**Fucking gay:** Who the hell are you?  
**Flug’s other mama:** Your mothers-in-law  
**Fucking gay:** @Wolflugang You told me they died in a fire  
**Flug’s other mama:** You did what  
**Wolflugang:** Now’s not the time to discuss this okay  
**Wolflugang:** What do you want to tell us, Demencia?  
**Alzheimer:** WATCH OUT FOR CATS N STRANGE FIGURES THAT LOOK LIKE YOU BUT MULTICOLORED  
**S.O.S:** are you high?  
**Alzheimer:** higher than you ;)  
**S.O.S:** I’m taller than everyone in this chat  
**Wolflugang:** I think I know what’s going on  
**Wolflugang:** We’re not going to die, Demencia  
**Alzheimer:** L I E S  
**Fucking gay:** Ugh, not this again  
**Fucking gay:** We don’t even have fucking swing sets  
**Fucking gay:** I set them all on fire when you started sprouting this bullshit  
**Wolflugang:** IT’S A FUCKING SONG DEMENCIA  
**Alzheimer:** its what the heat wants u to think  
**Alzheimer:** fuckin cat  
**Flug’s mama:** I think this is our cue to leave  
**Flug’s other mama:** Yup

 

**[Flug’s mama quit: Homobros Inc]  
[Flug’s other mama quit: Homobros Inc]**

**S.O.S:** I wanna die  
**Alzheimer:** oi bear  
**Alzheimer:** watch out for falling beams  
**Alzheimer:** also trucks  
**Alzheimer:** and cats  
**Alzheimer:** fuck cats  
**S.O.S:**????

 

**[Wolflugang & Fucking gay kicked Admin Alzheimer out of: Homobros Inc]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and cupcakes to whoever finds out what Demencia's talking about


	21. Some kinda suicide squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolflugang: You misspelled Harley Quinn  
> Harley Queen: no i didnt  
> Wolflugang: Yes, you did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you guys didn't know, last chapter's answer is: Kagerou Days (check it out, it's an amazing song). Congrats to CrazyLunarian and Stakari.
> 
> Also I'm down with a cold, so Streak of luck is gonna have to wait a while
> 
> sorry :v

**[Admin Alzheimer joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Alzheimer changed their name to: Harley Queen]**  
**[Wolflugang joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Wolflugang:** Why did you change your name again?  
**Harley Queen:** i just watchd suicide squad  
**Wolflugang:** You misspelled Harley Quinn  
**Harley Queen:** no i didnt  
**Wolflugang:** Yes, you did  
**Wolflugang:** It’s Harley QUINN, not QUEEN

 

**[Admin Harley Queen changed their name to: Harley Quill]**

**Wolflugang:** Oh for fuck’s sake  
**Harley Quill:** isnt that how u spell it  
**Wolflugang:** Harley QUINN  
**Wolflugang:** Q-U-I-N-N  
**Harley Quill:** i gotchu bro

 

**[Admin Harley Quill changed their name to: Harley Qunn]**

**Wolflugang:** Now you’re doing it on purpose  
**Harley Qunn:** ;)))

 

**[Admin Harley Qunn changed their name to: Harley Queer]**

**Wolflugang:** I am okay with this  
**Wolflugang:** And I’m not okay with this  
**Harley Queer:** gg no re  
**Wolflugang:** Will you stop saying that?  
**Harley Queer:** will u eat my ass?  
**Wolflugang:** Fair point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kill me


	22. What the fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley Queer: I WANT MY RIGHTS  
> Wolflugang: You’re embarrassing yourself  
> Harley Queer: shut up

**[Admin Harley Queer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Harley Queer:** what the fuck

 

**[Wolflugang joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Wolflugang:** Did something happen?  
**Harley Queer:** no  
**Wolflugang:** Then WHY did you say ‘what the fuck’?  
**Harley Queer:** cuz i felt like it  
**Wolflugang:** Why.  
**Harley Queer:** what, cant i say what the fuck anymore  
**Harley Queer:** i thought this was america  
**Wolflugang:** We live in Mexico.  
**Harley Queer:** I WANT MY RIGHTS  
**Wolflugang:** You’re embarrassing yourself  
**Harley Queer:** shut up  
**Harley Queer:** i cant even say what the fuck anymore without being kinkshamed  
**Wolflugang:** I WASN’T KINKSHAMING YOU???  
**Wolflugang:** And if you want freedom of speech then you can go complain to the government  
**Harley Queer:** maybe i will  
**Harley Queer:** hold my beer  
**Wolflugang:** We STILL live in Mexico  
**Harley Queer:** fine  
**Harley Queer:** hold my taco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's play a game. Insert your contry's equivalent of 'hold my beer' on the comments. I'll start.
> 
> Brazil: hold my soccer ball.


	23. BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Admin Harley Queer joined: Homobros Inc]  
> [Admin Harley Queer changed Wolflugang’s name to: Bill Nye]

**[Admin Harley Queer joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Harley Queer changed Wolflugang’s name to: Bill Nye]**  
 **[Bill Nye joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bill Nye:** But why?  
**Harley Queer:** bc ur the science guy

 

**[Bill Nye blocked: Harley Queer]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Science


	24. Flug's ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking gay: I’ll remind everyone: I’m not leaving this chat solely because Flug has a nice ass  
> Bill Nye: Can you stop talking about my ass  
> Fucking gay: No  
> Harley Queer: pfft we can all agree flugs got a nice ass ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look I'm so creative with titles

**[Bill Nye joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Fucking gay joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[S.O.S joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Harley Queer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bill Nye:** Pressure  
**S.O.S:** Pushing down on me  
**Bill Nye:** Pressing down on you  
**Harley Queer:** youre an asshole  
**Bill Nye:** That’s not how the song goes  
**Harley Queer:** it is now  
**Harley Queer:** fuck the police  
**S.O.S:** You have to admit those two phrases sound awfully similar  
**Fucking gay:** I’ll remind everyone: I’m not leaving this chat solely because Flug has a nice ass  
**Bill Nye:** Can you stop talking about my ass  
**Fucking gay:** No  
**Harley Queer:** pfft we can all agree flugs got a nice ass ;)  
**Fucking gay:** Back off bitch, he’s mine  
**Harley Queer:** we can share~  
**Bill Nye:** Nobody’s sharing my ass  
**Bill Nye:** I’m a human being, not a fucking pizza  
**Harley Queer:** u sure  
**Harley Queer:** i bet bh eats ur ass like pizza  
**Bill Nye:** Jesus fucking christ Demencia  
**Fucking gay:** She’s not necessarily wrong  
**Bill Nye:** Jesus fucking christ Black Hat  
**Fucking gay:** Actually I take that back  
**Fucking gay:** I don’t eat pizza  
**Fucking gay:** Although I still eat Flug’s ass  
**Bill Nye:** k i l l   m e  
**S.O.S:** seconded  
**Harley Queer:** too bad flug cant eat his own ass  
**Harley Queer:** hes missing out  
**Harley Queer:** oH what if we clone im and make him eat his clones ass  
**Bill Nye:** No.  
**Harley Queer:** ill glue u to him  
**Harley Queer:** the flug centipede  
**Harley Queer:** flugipede  
**S.O.S:** ‘Flugipede’ sounds like a Wikipedia for Flug  
**Harley Queer:** well maybe they know how flugs ass tastes like  
**Harley Queer:** ill make a yelp page about flugs ass  
**Bill Nye:** DEMENCIA DON’T YOU DARE  
**Bill Nye:** IF YOU DO IT I’LL SEND THE SCORPIONS  
**Harley Queer:** 2 LATE BITCH ITS 2 LATE TO GO BAC  
**Harley Queer:** OMG IT ALREADY HAS 5 STARS  
**Bill Nye:** what  
**S.O.S:** what  
**Harley Queer:** what  
**Fucking gay:** WHAT THE FUCK  
**Fucking gay:** I’M THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO KNOW WHAT MY FIANCÉ’S ASS TASTES LIKE  
**Harley Queer:** thats selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BH don't be selfish
> 
> Also you did read the word 'fiancé' right
> 
> EDIT: Listen to the song and tell me you don't hear 'you're an asshole' instead of 'no man ask for'.


	25. Wedding talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill Nye: If you talk about my ass one more time I’ll leave you at the altar  
> Fucking gay: You wouldn’t dare  
> Bill Nye: I’ve watched a thousand novelas. I would dare.  
> Fucking gay: Wait, that’s what you’ve been watching?  
> Fucking gay: Then who’s the one who watched plane porn on the company computer?

**Harley Queer:** wait  
**Harley Queer:** did u say fiance  
**Harley Queer:** r u fuckin bothered  
**Bill Nye:** Betrothed  
**Bill Nye:** Though I am bothered by your misspelling  
**Harley Queer:** pft  
**Harley Queer:** bothered, betroted, same shit  
**Harley Queer:** i wanna be the maid of honor  
**Bill Nye:** Considering our past conversations, you’d be the maid of dishonor  
**Harley Queer:** aww <3  
**Fucking gay:** 1) this was not a compliment  
**Fucking gay:** 2) if you keep behaving like this we’ll blacklist you  
**Harley Queer:** aww :(  
**Harley Queer:** wait wait wait  
**Harley Queer:** whos wearing the dress???  
**Fucking gay:** Flug  
**Bill Nye:** Why me  
**Harley Queer:** holy fuck id sell my nonexistent virginity to see that  
**Fucking gay:** The dress accentuates your ass  
**Bill Nye:** If you talk about my ass one more time I’ll leave you at the altar  
**Fucking gay:** You wouldn’t dare  
**Bill Nye:** I’ve watched a thousand novelas. I would dare.  
**Fucking gay:** Wait, that’s what you’ve been watching?  
**Fucking gay:** Then who’s the one who watched plane porn on the company computer?  
**Harley Queer:** 505  
**Bill Nye:** 5.0.5 would never do this  
**S.O.S:** DEMENCIA YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL THEM  
**Bill Nye:** wAITWHAT  
**Harley Queer:** sorry not sorry  
**S.O.S:** Pardon my French, Demencia, but fuck you  
**Harley Queer:** thats english u idiot  
**S.O.S:**  
**Bill Nye:** @S.O.S How could you do this  
**Bill Nye:** I took the blame for that  
**S.O.S:** I thought it was an article about a plane crash, I swear!  
**S.O.S:** In hindsight, I should’ve been suspicious about that “18+” and the fact that the website was called “PlaneHub”  
**Bill Nye:** Aaaalright  
**Bill Nye:** Please refrain from mentioning this during the speech  
**S.O.S:** Flug, I can’t talk  
**Bill Nye:** Crap, I forgot  
**Harley Queer:** wait whats the cake flavor  
**Fucking gay:** The souls of innocent children  
**Bill Nye:** No, I’m allergic  
**Fucking gay:** Fuck  
**Fucking gay:** I don't care, you're eating the cake anyway  
**Fucking gay:** What's the worst that could happen?  
**Bill Nye:** Explosive diarrhea  
**Bill Nye:** Do you want that on your honeymoon?  
**Bill Nye:** DO YOU  
**Fucking gay:** I’m regretting this relationship  
**S.O.S:** You’re already training to be married  
**Bill Nye:** We’re ordering vanilla cake  
**Harley Queer:** vanilla like ur sex  
**Harley Queer:** NOT  
**Bill Nye:** Blacklisted  
**Harley Queer:** oh is there gonna be pizza???  
**Fucking gay:** No, I hate pizza  
**Harley Queer:** wtf  
**Harley Queer:** how can u hate pizza  
**Harley Queer:** its the second most delicious thing to eat  
**S.O.S:** Second? What’s the first?  
**Harley Queer:** flugs ass ;)  
**Bill Nye:** B L A C K L I S T E D  
**Harley Queer:** u woulnt blacklist me flgbug ;)  
**Bill Nye:** Try me, bitch  
**Bill Nye:** WAIT  
**Bill Nye:** @Fucking gay What do we do about our surnames?  
**Fucking gay:** You’re Ackermann right?  
**Harley Queer:** no hes flug  
**Bill Nye:** Shush, Demencia, the adults are talking  
**S.O.S:** Rekt  
**Fucking gay:** We can have double-barreled surnames  
**Harley Queer:** wtf is that  
**Bill Nye:** It’s when we combine our surnames to make one, like X-Y  
**Harley Queer:** wats blackies surname  
**Fucking gay:** My surname is something beyond your human comprehension  
**Bill Nye:** It’s Lucifer  
**S.O.S:** Wow, that’s a cool surname  
**Harley Queer:** nice  
**Harley Queer:** can i call u lucy  
**Fucking gay:** no  
**Harley Queer:** k, lucy  
**Fucking gay:** B͠ Ļ͝ ͏A̷̕͞ ̵C̶͝ ̡Ķ L͢ ͜I͢ ͢Ş͜͡ ̡̕͜T̷ ̨͘E̛ ̷D̸͠

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading this chapter fills Mahkachan with guilt!
> 
> EDIT: I'm suddenly having to fix so many errors


	26. Kinktober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill Nye: What?  
> Harley Queer: u and bh should join kinktober

**[Admin Harley Queer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Harley Queer:** hey flug

 

**[Bill Nye joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bill Nye:** What?  
**Harley Queer:** u and bh should join kinktober  
**Bill Nye:** We can’t write  
**Harley Queer:** who said anything bout writing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**Bill Nye:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my life  
> I've discovered how to put gifs on the chapters  
> s o r r y


	27. Top ten anime intro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill Nye: This sounds oddly specific  
> Harley Queer: ive seen stuff

**[Harley Queer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Harley Queer:** hey  
**Harley Queer:** have u guys realized that anime intros r like super philosophical and deep  
**Harley Queer:** like  
**Harley Queer:** u read the lyrics an the song talks about reaching your dreams and never giving up and following ur heart and shit  
**Harley Queer:** and the anime is about talking boobs

 

**[Bill Nye joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bill Nye:** Um  
**Bill Nye:** This sounds oddly specific  
**Harley Queer:** ive seen stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this sudden realization during school and thought 'holy shit'. Like seriously.
> 
> Edit: I only now realized Flug had the wrong nickname. Fuck me


	28. Shipping war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking gay: @Bill Nye Want to see chaos spread?  
> Bill Nye: Uh, sure  
> Fucking gay: @Harley Queer @S.O.S, Sheldon x Penny or Sheldon x Amy?

******[Fucking gay joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Fucking gay:** @Bill Nye Want to see chaos spread?

 

**[Bill Nye joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bill Nye:** Uh, sure  
**Fucking gay:** @Harley Queer @S.O.S, Sheldon x Penny or Sheldon x Amy?

 

**[S.O.S joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Harley Queer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**S.O.S:** Sheldon x Amy  
**Harley Queer:** sheldon x penny  
**S.O.S:** Sheldon x Amy is canon bitch  
**Harley Queer:** who cares about canon  
**S.O.S:** Um, EVERYBODY?  
**Harley Queer:** o look we have a shamer over here  
**Harley Queer:** playing by his own lil game  
**Bill Nye:** What have you done, @Fucking gay?  
**Fucking gay:** Shut up this is hilarious  
**Fucking gay:** Appreciate my humor  
**Bill Nye:** No  
**S.O.S:** @Bill Nye @Fucking gay Sheldon x Amy or Sheldon x Penny?  
**Bill Nye:** Sheldon x Sheldon  
**Fucking gay:** Sheldon x Leonard  
**Bill Nye:** Sheldon x my physics teacher  
**Fucking gay:** Sheldon x my dick  
**Bill Nye:** Sheldoncest  
**Fucking gay:** Sheldon x hand sanitizer  
**S.O.S:** I feel like you’re not taking us seriously  
**Bill Nye:** B A Z I N G A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao this sucks


	29. Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking gay: What the fuck is happening here  
> Bill Nye: We’re playing Stop

**Harley Queer:** STOP HITTING STOP  
**Bill Nye:** No  
**Harley Queer:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
**S.O.S:** ‘Stabbing’ isn’t a name  
**Harley Queer:** im naming my child stabbing so its a name now  
**Bill Nye:** Oh shit  
**Bill Nye:** Demencia’s going to reproduce  
**Bill Nye:** Everybody run  
**Harley Queer:** fuc u  
**S.O.S:** ‘Stabbing’ isn’t a body part either  
**Bill Nye:** Rt  
**Harley Queer:** o rlly  
**Harley Queer:** dont u like when i touch ur stabbing  
**Harley Queer:** s l o w l y  
**S.O.S:** How do I get a restraining order?  
**Bill Nye:** STABBING IS NOT A FUCKING MOVIE  
**Bill Nye:** STOP PUTTING STABBING ON EVERYTHING  
**Harley Queer:** ur just jelous cuz I can stab n u cant  
**Bill Nye:** Ugh fuck me  
**Harley Queer:** alright  
**Bill Nye:** No  
**Harley Queer:** but u asked me to fuck u  
**Harley Queer:** who gonna fuck u now  
**Bill Nye:** Black Hat  
**Harley Queer:** hes not here tho  
**Bill Nye:** Well then  
**Bill Nye:** @S.O.S Fuck me  
**S.O.S:** No  
**Bill Nye:** How could you  
**Harley Queer:** rejected lmao  
**Bill Nye:** Betrayed by my own blood  
**Harley Queer:** ur not fuckable enough  
**Bill Nye:** 1) That word doesn’t exist  
**Bill Nye:** 2) I’m very fuckable, thank you  
**Harley Queer:** caaaan you feeeel the incest toniiiiiiight  
**Bill Nye:** Quit it  
**Harley Queer:** o cmon  
**Harley Queer:** its only gay if the balls touch  
**S.O.S:** You’re way too deep in this subject, Dem  
**Harley Queer:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**Bill Nye:** Stop, motherfuckers  
**Harley Queer:** NO  
**Harley Queer:** I WAS HALFWAY THRU  
**Harley Queer:** FUCJ U  
**Bill Nye:** Haters gonna hate  
**Bill Nye:** Omfg  
**Bill Nye:** What kind of name is Sin  
**Harley Queer:** shutup this is my future kids name  
**S.O.S:** I thought your future kid’s name was gonna be Stabbing  
**Harley Queer:** no dats the middle name  
**Harley Queer:** Sin Stabbing  
**Bill Nye:** Sounds like a stripper name  
**Harley Queer:** bitch please my kid will be the best stripper  
**S.O.S:** That’s gay  
**Harley Queer:** ur gay  
**S.O.S:** Am I though?  
**S.O.S:** I mean, I haven’t felt any attraction towards anyone yet  
**S.O.S:** So I could be anything  
**Bill Nye:** Schrödinger’s sexuality  
**S.O.S:** 100/10 best theory  
**Bill Nye:** Wait  
**Bill Nye:** You said ‘that’s gay’  
**Bill Nye:** But what if it’s a girl?  
**S.O.S:** That’s lesbian  
**Bill Nye:** Sounds like a great presidential campaign  
**S.O.S:** I call dibs on ‘that’s lesbian’  
**Harley Queer:** im copying it bitch  
**Harley Queer:** thats bi  
**Bill Nye:** That’s hetero  
**Harley Queer:** thats helicoptersexual  
**Bill Nye:** Goddammit Dem  
**Bill Nye:** “Shiny” is not a color  
**Harley Queer:** ur not a color  
**Bill Nye:** What’s your point?  
**Harley Queer:** ur my point  
**Harley Queer:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**S.O.S:** That’s hetero  
**Bill Nye:** But I’m gay  
**Harley Queer:** da ba dee da ba daa  
**S.O.S:** I’m confused  
**Harley Queer:** da ba dee da ba daa  
**Bill Nye:** “SUCC” IS NOT A BODY PART  
**S.O.S:** We’re tired of your shit Demencia  
**Harley Queer:** eXCUSE  
**Harley Queer:** what did my shit ever do to u

 

**[Fucking gay joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Fucking gay:** What the fuck is happening here  
**Bill Nye:** We’re playing Stop  
**Bill Nye:** Want to play?  
**Fucking gay:** No  
**Bill Nye:** Aww come on  
**Bill Nye:** Play with us, love  
**S.O.S:** Play with us  
**Harley Queer:** play with us  
**Bill Nye:** Play with us **  
S.O.S:** Play with us **  
Harley Queer:** play with us **  
Bill Nye:** Play with us **  
S.O.S:** Play with us  
**Harley Queer:** play with us  
**Bill Nye:** _P̛l̡͜͡͞ay̛҉̢ ͢͡w҉͜͏į͞͝͝t͏̷ḩ ̕͢ư̧s͢_

**[Fucking gay left: Homobros Inc]  
[Fucking gay has deleted their account]**

**S.O.S:** We did it Reddit!  
**Harley Queer:** quick flug  
**Harley Queer:** put ur dick in an anthill  
**Bill Nye:** N̨͢͡ ͞҉̴͝o̡̕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most politically incorrect chapter I've ever written  
> I'm divided between laughing or feeling awful


	30. Org vs Inc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S.O.S: Why “Homobros Inc”?  
> S.O.S: Like, out of all the names you could choose, why THIS ONE?  
> Harley Queer: cuz were all gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just noticed it's Org. not Inc.  
> and this chapter was born

**S.O.S:** Okay, quick question @Harley Queer  
**Harley Queer:** wazzup bitches  
**S.O.S:** Why “Homobros Inc”?  
**S.O.S:** Like, out of all the names you could choose, why THIS ONE?  
**Harley Queer:** cuz were all gay  
**S.O.S:** I’m not

 

 **[Admin Harley Queer changed S.O.S’s name to: Papa bear]**  
**[Admin Harley Queer changed Bill Nye’s name to: Flugay]**  
 **[Admin Harley Queer changed Fucking gay’s name to: Homo Hat]**

**Harley Queer:** we r now  
**Homo Hat:** First of all, fuck you  
**Homo Hat:** Second of all, fuck you  
**Homo Hat:** Third of all, that’s not the company name  
**Flugay:** It’s actually Black Hat Org., not Black Hat Inc.  
**Harley Queer:** ooooooh  
**Harley Queer:** i gotchu

 

**[Admin Harley Queer changed the group’s name to: Black Hat Orgy]**

**Papa bear:** @Homo Hat @Flugay You created a monster  
**Homo Hat:** Stfu you brought the issue up  
**Flugay:** I’m okay with this  
**Homo Hat:** Flug no  
**Homo Hat:** Demencia stop making my fiancé gay  
**Flugay:** Darling I have bad news for you  
**Homo Hat:** Shut up Flug I’m having a bitch fit  
**Papa bear:** I prefer the old name  
**Harley Queer:** i gotchu

 

**[Admin Harley Queer changed the group’s name to: Homobros Inc]**

**Papa bear:** Hang on let me google all the gods I have to thank

 

**[Flugay changed Harley Queer’s name to: Condom Ad]**

**Condom Ad:** ….thats fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also almost done with Streak of luck's eleventh chapter, so here's a quick sneak peek I guess (it may be slightly altered in the official chapter):
> 
> \---------------
> 
> "You smell nice." If he could, the doctor would've slapped himself there and then. Out of all the things he could've blurted out in his haze of nervousness, all of the possible combinations that could've been done with 26 letters, he chose to say *this*. He was an idiot. No-- his *inner omega* was an idiot. But his inner omega was still a part of him, so he was an idiot and a half. He'd barely seen Black Hat moving towards his direction.
> 
> "And you smell like alcohol." Flug's stomach dropped.
> 
> \------------------
> 
> Aaaaaaand that's it for now~  
> I might post it tomorrow if I'm lucky :P


	31. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homo Hat: What  
> Flugay: I love you

**[Flugay joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flugay:** @Homo Hat

 

**[Homo Hat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Homo Hat:** What  
**Flugay:** I love you  
**Homo Hat:** Hmph  
**Homo Hat:** I love you too  
**Homo Hat:** No homo tho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's so hetero
> 
> Roxanna Rose commented "Does anyone even know the meaning of 'gay' anymore?" and I had this stupid idea. I also love when men try to defend their masculinity saying 'no homo' (I say men because I've never seen a woman say 'no homo') and I want to see someone say 'no hetero'.


	32. Like a fucked up helicopter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Condom Ad: [BISEXUAL GASP]  
> Condom Ad: never talk to me an my hipotetical dick ever again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was browsing through my old files and found an old fanfic which had two characters telling each other how they saw their relatives spin their dicks (don't ask), and I had this idea.

**Condom Ad:** i want a dick  
**Flugay:** Why?  
**Condom Ad:** so i can do the helcopter thingy  
**Flugay:** You want a penis so you can spin it?  
**Condom Ad:** yus  
**Flugay:** That’s a stupid reason  
**Condom Ad:** [BISEXUAL GASP]  
**Condom Ad:** never talk to me an my hipotetical dick ever again  
**Flugay:** With pleasure  
**Condom Ad:** ho wait  
**Condom Ad:** have u ever done that  
**Condom Ad:** the hellicopter thingy  
**Flugay:** Spin my dick?  
**Condom Ad:** ya  
**Flugay:** Are you asking me, Flug Slys, the scientist with 4 PhDs and an IQ of more than 170, and who has done numerous inventions and scientific discoveries that would make Isaac Newton leave with his tail between his legs, if I have ever spun my penis like a fucking moron?  
**Condom Ad:** well duh  
**Condom Ad:** have u?  
**Flugay:** …  
**Flugay:** Yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two types of people with penises in this world: those who have spun their dicks, and those who lie.


	33. He's totally into that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Condom Ad: omg i gotta tell bh  
> Flugay: IF YOU TELL BLACK HAT I WILL OFFICIALLY BLACKLIST YOU

**[Private message: Condom Ad]**

**Flugay:** Demencia, can I ask you something?  
**Condom Ad:** ya  
**Flugay:** So, um…  
**Flugay:** You’ve seen Black Hat naked before, right?  
**Condom Ad:** hell yes  
**Condom Ad:** wait how do u now  
**Condom Ad:** did u read my diary  
**Flugay:** What?  
**Flugay:** No  
**Flugay:** You stalk him at every chance you get  
**Condom Ad:** ha dats true  
**Condom Ad:** so what do u wanna ask  
**Condom Ad:** im ur guru bitch now  
**Flugay:** Right  
**Flugay:** Um, does Black Hat…  
**Flugay:** Does his penis have eyes?  
**Condom Ad:** nah man  
**Condom Ad:** unless he wants 2  
**Condom Ad:** why  
**Condom Ad:** r u into dat  
**Condom Ad:** bc dats gay  
**Flugay:** NO  
**Flugay:** I just don’t want any surprises on our honeymoon  
**Condom Ad:** oml u r ttlly into that  
**Flugay:** I AM NOT  
**Condom Ad:** omg i gotta tell bh  
**Flugay:** IF YOU TELL BLACK HAT I WILL OFFICIALLY BLACKLIST YOU

 

**[Flugay joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Homo Hat:** @Flugay Did you ask Demencia if my penis has eyes?  
**Flugay:** BLACKLISTED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've mentioned in multiple chapters that Flug and Black Hat have had sex but I had this idea and I wouldn't let go, so take it as some sort of canon divergence.


	34. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa bear: Uh  
> Papa bear: May I ask what an IKEA roleplay is  
> Condom Ad: take sex  
> Condom Ad: take ikea  
> Condom Ad: boom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys, I had kidney stones :D it was amazing /s

**Condom Ad:** oi biches  
**Condom Ad:** have u ever regreted something  
**Papa bear:** Having joined this chat  
**Condom Ad:** aw  
**Condom Ad:** ily2  
**Flugay:** Well  
**Flugay:** I made hot pepper sauce once  
**Condom Ad:** boo thats boring  
**Flugay:** Then I masturbated  
**Flugay:** Without washing my hands  
**Condom Ad:** holy ship  
**Condom Ad:** thats not so boring lmao  
**Condom Ad:** @Homo Hat ur mans an idiot

**[Homo Hat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Homo Hat:** You think I don’t know that?  
**Homo Hat:** I was with him the whole time  
**Homo Hat:** He cried like a little bitch  
**Flugay:** EXCUSE YOU  
**Flugay:** I don’t appreciate having my dick on fire  
**Flugay:** Or any part of my body for that matter  
**Homo Hat:** Well guess I’ll have to cancel tonight’s roleplay then  
**Condom Ad:** i thought tonight was the ikea roleplay  
**Homo Hat:** No, that’s tomorrow’s roleplay  
**Homo Hat:** Wait  
**Homo Hat:** How the fuck do you know our roleplay schedule  
**Condom Ad:** i know a guy  
**Flugay:** I hope it’s not Robert  
**Condom Ad:** nah  
**Condom Ad:** robbies my man bitch  
**Condom Ad:** its another guy  
**Condom Ad:** whos also my man bitch  
**Condom Ad:** but thats beside the point  
**Flugay:** I don’t even want to know at this point  
**Papa bear:** Uh  
**Papa bear:** May I ask what an IKEA roleplay is  
**Condom Ad:** take sex  
**Condom Ad:** take ikea  
**Condom Ad:** boom  
**Condom Ad:**  
**Flugay:** Demencia pretty much said it all  
**Papa bear:** Forget my first answer  
**Papa bear:** This is my biggest regret  
**Flugay:** I know the feeling  
**Condom Ad:** o  
**Condom Ad:** can i join th roleplay tomorrow  
**Homo Hat:** No  
**Condom Ad:** flug?  
**Flugay:** You can be the cashier  
**Condom Ad:** yay :D  
**Homo Hat:** Flug wtf  
**Flugay:** I’m trying to be inclusive here okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wHAT IS MY LIFE WHICH HAS SPIRALED OUT OF CONTROL LMAO
> 
> Also no they're not married yet
> 
> EDIT: "Holy ship" is a typo I made in Discord. I'm keeping it.


	35. Havoc: the return... somewhat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flugay: SHUT UP  
> Flugay: Don’t remind me  
> Flugay: I’m having the war flashbacks

**[Flugay joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flugay:** Help me

 

**[Condom Ad joined: Homobros Inc]**

  
**Condom Ad:** wazzup  
**Flugay:** I’m at the conference  
**Flugay:** …. Again  
**Condom Ad:** ooo  
**Condom Ad:** the one w the havocados  
**Flugay:** SHUT UP  
**Flugay:** Don’t remind me  
**Flugay:** I’m having the war flashbacks  
**Condom Ad:** dont u mean  
**Condom Ad:** warvocados  
**Flugay:** Like I once said  
**Flugay:** This is why Black Hat doesn’t fuck you  
**Condom Ad:** ive come to terms w that

 

**[Papa bear joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Papa bear:** Why do you need help?  
**Papa bear:** Is the guy with the avocados there?  
**Flugay:** Not really  
**Flugay:** He died after being hit by a flying avocado  
**Papa bear:** Tragic  
**Condom Ad:** travocadogic  
**Flugay:** You’ve made your username justice  
**Condom Ad:** thank  
**Condom Ad:** so wazzup binch  
**Flugay:** There’s a guy preaching about apples  
**Flugay:** And his penis  
**Papa bear:** His penis?  
**Papa bear:** Why?  
**Flugay:** Those two are correlated  
**Flugay:** Trust me on that one  
**Papa bear:** I want to trust you but I’m scared  
**Papa bear:** My heart says ‘yes’ but my mind is screeching like a pterodactyl  
**Flugay:** He has a gun  
**Flugay:** We’re all hiding  
**Flugay:** Help me  
**Condom Ad:** rip flug our gay bro  
**Flugay:** DEMENCIA  
**Condom Ad:** sorry sorry  
**Condom Ad:** rip flug our beloved homosexual coworker  
**Flugay:** I hate you  
**Condom Ad:** i hate me too  
**Papa bear:** You should call the police  
**Flugay:** What am I going to explain to them?  
**Flugay:** Besides, my current location is unexplainable  
**Condom Ad:** i have an idea  
**Papa bear:** Oh no  
**Flugay:** RT  
**Condom Ad:** wow thanks for the faith guys  
**Flugay:** Just tell your idea so I can discard it already  
**Condom Ad:** okay so  
**Condom Ad:** go to him  
**Condom Ad:** grab his gun (you can choose which one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**Flugay:** I’m already starting to regret this  
**Condom Ad:** do a backflip  
**Condom Ad:** piss on his dick  
**Condom Ad:** establish dominance  
**Condom Ad:** become the alpha  
**Flugay:** This is why I never ask you for advice on anything  
**Condom Ad:** aw why not :(  
**Condom Ad:** do you think having his dick pissed on is his kink or smthn  
**Flugay:** NO  
**Flugay:** Just  
**Flugay:** Forget it, I’ll deal with this myself  
**Papa bear:** Report so we know you’re still alive  
**Flugay:** Alright  
**Condom Ad:** …  
**Condom Ad:** he hasnt reportd in 12 secnds  
**Condom Ad:** rip  
**Papa bear:** Wow thanks for the faith Dem  
**Condom Ad:** np

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a constant source of disappointment


	36. Pecan pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flugay: Cursing?!  
> Flugay: NOT IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER  
> Condom Ad: O is this a cristian sever now?  
> Condom Ad: bc I have a lot of jesus memes

**Condom Ad:** wtf  
**Condom Ad:** my caracter looks creepy af lmao  
**Condom Ad:**

 

**[Flugay joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Papa bear joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flugay:** Isn’t Sun and Moon grand when it comes to facial expressions?  
**Flugay:** And fixing bugs?  
**Flugay:** I mean, I love when I disconnect accidentally and get banned from online trading  
**Flugay:** F O R E V E R  
**Papa bear:** RT  
**Papa bear:** By the way, did you see the way the MC walks?  
**Papa bear:** It kinda looks like they’re constipated  
**Flugay:** I thought I was the only one who’d noticed that  
**Condom Ad:** theyre so tired of everyones shit they made their own shit  
**Flugay:**  
**Condom Ad:** but lusamin is kinda hot lmao  
**Papa bear:** She’s bitch crazy  
**Flugay:** Oh wow  
**Flugay:** I’m starting to see a pattern  
**Condom Ad:** would ttly bang  
**Papa bear:** Why  
**Flugay:** Love is blind, 5.0.5, love is blind  
**Papa bear:** SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH A GAME CHARACTER  
**Papa bear:** THIS IS NOT NORMAL  
**Flugay:** I’m half-japanese, 5.0.5  
**Flugay:** It is normal  
**Flugay:** Somewhat  
**Flugay:** Ok, not really, but Demencia’s not the only one  
**Papa bear:** Can it get worse?  
**Condom Ad:** oi bear  
**Condom Ad:** u ever heard of  
**Condom Ad:** rule34  
**Papa bear:** oHELLNO  
**Condom Ad:** OMG  
**Condom Ad:** 505 cursed lmao  
**Condom Ad:** babys first curse aww  
**Papa bear:** I DIDN’T MEAN TO D:  
**Flugay:** Cursing?!  
**Flugay:** NOT IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER  
**Condom Ad:** O is this a cristian sever now?  
**Condom Ad:** bc I have a lot of jesus memes  
**Flugay:** Demencia ruins everything she touches  
**Flugay:** She’s like Rogue, but gayer  
**Papa bear:** How did we go from Pokémon to this?  
**Condom Ad:** D I͝͡ ͘͟N ͟͝K L̵ ̴E͢ ̷͡B̢͡ ̸͜E R͜ ̷̛G͘  
**Papa bear:** Omg I love this cartoon  
**Flugay:** I used to watch it with my mom all the time  
**Condom Ad:** which one  
**Flugay:** I’ll never tell you  
**Condom Ad:** [BISEXUAL GASP]  
**Condom Ad:** HOW DAER  
**Condom Ad:** HWO DARE  
**Condom Ad:** fcuk  
**Papa bear:** The bad thing about this is that this may be the biggest karma she’ll receive  
**Flugay:** One minute of silence  
**Condom Ad:** blue ffuck  
**Condom Ad:** i mssed up Victor phone  
**Condom Ad:** and its starting to type  
**Condom Ad:** random blueberry  
**Condom Ad:** help  
**Flugay:** Forget it, 5.0.5  
**Flugay:** This is the biggest karma yet  
**Condom Ad:** pls plug  
**Condom Ad:** help  
**Flugay:** Do you know where your settings are?  
**Flugay:** If you do say yes  
**Condom Ad:** pecan pie  
**Condom Ad:** pecan pie  
**Condom Ad:** PECAN PIE  
**Papa bear:** I feel like you’re trying to tell us something  
**Flugay:** Well, I am  
**Flugay:** I’ve used my phone to alter your settings  
**Flugay:** So now you’ll never stop typing random words unless you figure out the password  
**Flugay:** I also altered the words ‘yes’, ‘no’, and other basic things to pecan pie  
**Flugay:** Do you like pecan pie, Demencia?  
**Condom Ad:** pecan pie  
**Condom Ad:** fcuk  
**Condom Ad:** kite you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also like Rogue because I'm ruining this fandom
> 
> Also I probably won't update Streak of luck in a while because I feel like everything I write is shit. Have a good day.


	37. PussySlayer666

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa bear: My sides  
> Condom Ad: lmao flug be destroying the enemies  
> Papa bear: /r/murderedbywords  
> Papa bear: Oh no  
> Papa bear: BH’s silent  
> Papa bear: Shit’s gonna go down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative summary: Some homophobe joined Homobros Inc, started spewing bullshit and Flug puts him in his place.

**[PussySlayer666 joined: Homobros Inc]**

**PussySlayer666:** the f is this server

 

**[Flugay joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flugay:** @Condom Ad Did you add someone without telling us?  
**Flugay:** Or the person you were adding?

 

**[Condom Ad joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Condom Ad:** nah  
**Condom Ad:** wait  
**Condom Ad:** robert???  
**PussySlayer666:** bitch who tf is robert  
**Condom Ad:** nvm then

 

**[Papa bear joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Papa bear:** What’s happening?  
**Condom Ad:** sum weirdo joined our chat or smtn  
**Flugay:** Is it that hard to write ‘something’?  
**Condom Ad:** ys  
**Flugay:** I am mentally, physically and spiritually giving you the middle finger  
**Condom Ad:** ily2 babe  
**PussySlayer666:** u know what fuk u all  
**PussySlayer666:** im leaving this fukn server  
**Papa bear:** No need to be rude, you know  
**Flugay:** Don’t let the door hit you on the way out  
**Flugay:** On second hand, please do  
**PussySlayer666:** fuk u  
**Flugay:** Sorry, I’m taken  
**PussySlayer666:** ew no

 

**[PussySlayer666 quit: Homobros Inc]**

**PussySlayer666:** wtf

 

 **[PussySlayer666 quit: Homobros Inc]**  
**[PussySlayer666 quit: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[PussySlayer666 quit: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[PussySlayer666 quit: Homobros Inc]**

**PussySlayer666:** WHY CANT I FUKIN QUIT  
**Flugay:** Seems like Discord’s bugging  
**Papa bear:** Again?  
**Flugay:** The day Discord doesn’t bug is the day I convert to Christianity  
**Condom Ad:** gr8  
**Condom Ad:** now we r traped with sum stranger  
**Condom Ad:** sooooo  
**Condom Ad:** u liek pussy? ;)  
**Papa bear:** Oh no  
**Flugay:** Oh no  
**PussySlayer666:** Fuk off bitch  
**Flugay:** Is it too much work to press the ‘c’ key?  
**Flugay:** It takes, like, two seconds

 

**[Homo Hat joined: Homobros Inc]**

**PussySlayer666:** fuk off fag  
**PussySlayer666:** i didnt ask for ur advice cocksuker  
**Flugay:** Ad hominem  
**PussySlayer666:** stfu i dont speak french u fag  
**Homo Hat:** If you don’t take all of those slurs back I will find you and RĮ҉P̡͏ ̛҉YOŲ̛͠R͜҉ ͏INT̴̕Ę̵̕S͜͞TI̕N͡E͘͜͟S̛ ͡O͢U҉̷T ͝Ţ̵͜HR̷҉͡OU̡G͞H̕ ̶̸Y͢͏O͏̛U͜͞R̵ ̡E̛͝Y̶̢E͘B҉A̶̷͞L͏L̴̕͠  
**Papa bear:** Oh no  
**Flugay:** Oh no  
**PussySlayer666:** come @ me bitch  
**PussySlayer666:** u have a stupid ass nickname  
**Condom Ad:** lmao bro i wouldnt call anyones name stupid w a name like yours  
**Papa bear:** Oh my god  
**Papa bear:** Did this really just happen  
**Condom Ad:** wut  
**Flugay:** I’m proud and scared  
**Flugay:** Like a father whose child just got their driver’s license  
**PussySlayer666:** shut up fag  
**PussySlayer666:** everythin u say gives me a headache  
**PussySlayer666:** ur all a buncha mothafuckas who dont know nothin  
**Homo Hat:** Ap̕o̢͘l̢o̸͞g̵i͢z̢e͜ **  
Homo Hat:** R̷̵̢̡͝i̴̸͡͝ģ͜͡h̡͟͡t.̶̧͠͠ ͡N͏͢͡o͏͞w̡͢.̷̡͜҉  
**Flugay:** Don’t worry honey, I got this  
**Flugay:** @PussySlayer666, you keep insulting me and my sexuality despite our wishes for you to stop, and yet you continue because, deep down, you’re an insecure little shit. In fact, some studies show that a fraction of homophobes are homosexuals themselves. Your username is clearly a proof of your so called “masculinity”, which is as real as a unicorn. So please do us all a favor and come out of the closet, put on some pants, and grow the fuck up. Oh, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. On second thought, do let it hit you. I feel like your mother didn’t hit you enough when you were young. I might still be wrong about this, though. You have the mentality and grammar of a twelve-year-old. She still has time.  
**Condom Ad:** omfg im wheezing  
**Papa bear:** SOMEONE PIN THIS MASTERPIECE PLEASE  
**Condom Ad:** i gotchu bro

 

**[ _Condom Ad_ pinned a message to this channel.  See all the pins]**

**PussySlayer666:** WTF R U EVEN TALKING ABOUT U FAGGOT  
**PussySlayer666:** IM NOT GAY EWWW IM STRAIGHT I LIKE PUSSY AND BOOBS  
**PussySlayer666:** YOU FAG DONT REDUCE ME TO UR KIND  
**Flugay:** Cry me a river so I can cross it with my pity bridge

 

**[PussySlayer666 quit: Homobros Inc]**

**Papa bear:** My sides  
**Condom Ad:** lmao flug be destroying the enemies  
**Papa bear:** /r/murderedbywords  
**Papa bear:** Oh no  
**Papa bear:** BH’s silent  
**Papa bear:** Shit’s gonna go down  
**Flugay:** @Homo Hat, you okay?  
**Homo Hat:** _Marry me_  
**Flugay:** We’re already married  
**Homo Hat:** I don’t give a fuck  
**Homo Hat:** I’ll divorce you and propose to you again  
**Flugay:** Honey, please  
**Papa bear:** That’s so extra  
**Condom Ad:** so fkn extra  
**Papa bear:** Extra on top of another layer of extra with a side of extra  
**Condom Ad:** breaking news “bh is extra af”

 

**[Condom Ad changed Homo Hat’s name to: Extra af]**

 

 **Extra af:** SHUT UP  
**Extra af:** I AM NOT “EXTRA”  
**Extra af:** I AM FEAR  
**Condom Ad:** gay fear  
**Flugay:** Isn’t gay fear homophobia?  
**Papa bear:** BH is homophobia confirmed  
**Condom Ad:** flug ur bitch is confused  
**Extra af:** I AM NOT FLUGS BITCH  
**Extra af:** HE IS MY BITCH  
**Flugay:** Excuse me?  
**Extra af:** nothing  
**Extra af:** sorry

 

**[Extra af left: Homobros Inc]**

**Papa bear:** Did Flug just make Black Hat run for his life  
**Papa bear:** Did I just witness this with my very own virgin eyes  
**Condom Ad:** virgin eyes??  
**Condom Ad:** rememebr to use protection when ur eyes have dem eye smex  
**Condom Ad:** so u dont get dem eye aids  
**Flugay:** We are not having this conversation again  
**Papa bear:** Okay but  
**Papa bear:** Black Hat  
**Papa bear:** Fears you  
**Papa bear:** H O W  
**Papa bear:** YOU TAMED THE BEAST  
**Condom Ad:** tell me ur secret  
**Flugay:** Because honestly I wear the pants in this relationship  
**Condom Ad:** and bh takes em off ;)  
**Flugay:** I  
**Flugay:** I won’t disagree with that

 

**[Condom Ad changed Flugay’s name to: Alpha male]  
[Condom Ad changed Extra af’s name to: Omega bitch]**

**Alpha male:** Demencia why  
**Condom Ad:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm do I sense a Streak of luck reference?
> 
> I feel like Flug's life would be much easier if he were an alpha :v  
> maybe he should be an alpha  
> maybe
> 
> ANYWAYS  
> I hate myself  
> that is all  
> idk why you all read this garbage  
> love you all  
> <3  
> bye


	38. (´･ω･`)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omega bitch: Who the fuck is Hibiya  
> Merakill me (´･ω･`): the bane of my existence  
> Condom Ad: flugs previous sugar daddy  
> Omega bitch: E͏ X͝͠͞ C̸̴ U͜͝ S ͟E̶̢̕ ͝͡ M̡ ͏E̛͜҉  
> Merakill me (´･ω･`): demencia stop it  
> Merakill me (´･ω･`): he was my stalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually has a plot  
> don't be surprised  
> or be surprised  
> I don't know
> 
> TW: Ableist slur (?)

**Condom Ad:** yo @Alpha male

 

**[Alpha male joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alpha male:** What now, Demencia?  
**Condom Ad:** check this out [link attached]  
**Alpha male:** Is it some sort of weird fetish site?  
**Condom Ad:** no  
**Alpha male:** Am I going to be jumpscared?  
**Condom Ad:** no  
**Alpha male:** Is this going to give my phone an irremovable virus?  
**Condom Ad:** no  
**Alpha male:** Is ‘no’ all you know how to type?  
**Condom Ad:** yes  
**Condom Ad:** and penis  
**Condom Ad:** u liek penis  
**Condom Ad:** jk i know udo  
**Alpha male:** …  
**Alpha male:** I’m not going to click it until you tell me what it is  
**Condom Ad:** aw :(  
**Condom Ad:** w y such a lil bitch

 

**[Papa bear joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alpha male:** I’m waiting  
**Condom Ad:** fien  
**Condom Ad:** Meraki (´･ω･`) _  
_**Alpha male:** no  
**Alpha male:** hes not back is he  
**Alpha male:** please tell me he didnt escape prison  
**Alpha male:** i am going to kill myself  
**Papa bear:** What’s happening here?  
**Papa bear:** Who’s “Meraki (´･ω･`)”?  
**Condom Ad:** ull see  
**Condom Ad:** chill bro hes not bacl  
**Alpha male:** ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK  
**Papa bear:** What’s happening? I don’t get it  
**Condom Ad:** omg  
**Condom Ad:** lemme tell  
**Alpha male:** DON’T  
**Condom Ad:** o right  
**Condom Ad:** @Omega bitch

 

**[Omega bitch joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Omega bitch:** What the fuck do you want  
**Omega bitch:** Wtf why is my name “Omega bitch”?!  
**Condom Ad:** now were ready  
**Condom Ad:** O WAIT

 

 **[Condom Ad changed Alpha male’s name to: Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`)]**

**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** demencia why **  
Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i feel betrayed  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** if you dont undo this right now i will never talk to you again  
**Papa bear:** Oh no  
**Papa bear:** He’s using lapslock  
**Papa bear:** This is serious  
**Omega bitch:** IS SOMEONE HERE GOING TO TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OR WILL I HAVE TO BRING LA CHANCLA  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** crap  
**Papa bear:** nOT LA CHANCLA  
**Condom Ad:** yes pls [message deleted]  
**Omega bitch:** What  
**Condom Ad:** what  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** demencia  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** demencia please  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** dont do this to me  
**Condom Ad:** chill dude  
**Condom Ad:** its not like hes in this chat rn  
**Papa bear:** He?  
**Condom Ad:** hibiya  
**Omega bitch:** Who the fuck is Hibiya  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** the bane of my existence  
**Condom Ad:** flugs previous sugar daddy  
**Omega bitch:** E͏ X͝͠͞ C̸̴ U͜͝ S ͟E̶̢̕ ͝͡ M̡ ͏E̛͜҉  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** demencia stop it  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he was my stalker  
**Papa bear:** You had a stalker??  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i did  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** and he loved to use this (´･ω･`) motherfucking symbol  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** every conversation we had  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** every single one  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** had (´･ω･`) at the end  
**Papa bear:** Why  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i wish i knew  
**Omega bitch:** GIVE ME HIS ADDRESS  
**Omega bitch:** I WILL SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS  
**Condom Ad:** kinky  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** black hat just stop  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** hes in prison now  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** so its not like it matters  
**Condom Ad:** [address of a prison far away]  
**Omega bitch:** Thank you Demencia  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** demencia youre triggering me  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** my hairs gonna be white until the end of this  
**Papa bear:** But you’re an albino  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** ill get white hair anyway  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** itll be motherfucking magic bitches  
**Condom Ad:** come on bro  
**Condom Ad:** u were in terapy for like a year  
**Condom Ad:** let im have (´･ω･`) shoved up his ass  
**Papa bear:** What did he do, if you don’t mind me asking?  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** ill just send you all the screenshots  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** im too tired for this

 

**[Screenshot 1]**

**…**

**Hibiya:** Good morning, hope you’re having a good day! (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Did you sleep well?  
**Hibiya:** Oh, you must still be sleeping  
**Hibiya:** I’ll let you sleep then (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Are you still asleep?  
**Hibiya:** It’s almost 8 am  
**Hibiya:** We can go to college together, I got a new bike (´･ω･`)  
**Wolfgang:** I’m not going today  
**Hibiya:** Why not?  
**Hibiya:** Are you sick?  
**Hibiya:** Did something happen??  
**Hibiya:** Please answer, I’ll be worried all day (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Meraki? Are you still online?  
**Hibiya:** Meraki??  
**Wolfgang:** I’m just not feeling well  
**Hibiya:** Oh I understand (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** I mean, I rarely get sick so I don’t really understand  
**Hibiya:** But if you need something you can always call me! (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** I’ll be glad to help  
**Wolfgang:** Alright, thank you  
**Hibiya:** Anything for you, Meraki! (´･ω･`)

**…**

**Papa bear:** The amount of (´･ω･`)s is giving me seizures  
**Omega bitch:** I WILL KILL HIM  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** no you will not  
**Omega bitch:** I won’t, I won’t  
**Papa bear:** Is this really happening  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** well  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he was a cool person at first  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** we met in college  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he was very shy but i think i was the only person he could talk to  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** even so he was very socially awkward  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** the only place he didnt stutter was online  
**Condom Ad:** the dude ttly wanted to get in ur pants bro  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i know  
**Merakill me (´** **･** **ω** **･** **`)** : but he didnt know i knew that  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`)** : it wasnt mutual, so i didnt want to hurt his feelings  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** eventually he started texting me every single minute, always wanting to know where and how i was  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i started responding less and less but he didnt get the hint  
**Papa bear:** This is so cringey  
**Papa bear:** I feel sorry for the (´･ω･`) emoticon for being abused like this  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** and then i started avoiding him  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he still didnt get the hint

 

**[Screenshot 2]**

**…**

**Hibiya:** Meraki, are you getting my messages?  
**Hibiya:** I'll send you a letter just in case (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Are you home?  
**Hibiya:** I could call you (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Wait, I could call your phone too  
**Hibiya:** Silly me (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** I’ll call you right now, okay?  
**Hibiya:** Is your phone turned off?  
**Hibiya:** It’s ok, I can wait  
**Hibiya:** Should I go to your house?  
**Hibiya:** I’ll go to your house, then! (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Are your moms home?  
**Hibiya:** Meraki?  
**Hibiya:** Meraki?  
**Hibiya:** I’m getting worried, Meraki  
**Hibiya:** Call me when you can, okay? (´･ω･`)

**…**

**Papa bear:** This is terrifying  
**Condom Ad:** lmao u havent even heard the best part yet  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** demencia, you’re a goddamn sadist  
**Condom Ad:** nah  
**Condom Ad:** i jst derive pleasure frm seeing u suffer  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** this is exactly what a sadist is  
**Condom Ad:** um no its not  
**Condom Ad:** isnt it that meat thingy germans like  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** that’s a sausage  
**Condom Ad:** ooh i got it  
**Condom Ad:** its that drink type thing like coca cola  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** that’s a fucking soda  
**Papa bear:** Um, I don’t want to interrupt but  
**Papa bear:** Black Hat’s been way too quiet  
**Condom Ad:** he secretly ploting to kill hibiya  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he’d better not  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** I will castrate him  
**Condom Ad:** not like u havent already  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** I will castrate his wallet  
**Condom Ad:** ive seen this kink before  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** well, things escalated with hibiya  
**Papa bear:** WAIT FLUG  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** yes?  
**Papa bear:** Did Hibiya seriously go to your house?  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he did  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** my mom hit him with a hose  
**Condom Ad:** which one  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** take a guess  
**Condom Ad:** r u gonna tell me this everytime  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** are you going to ask me which one of my moms I’m talking about every time?  
**Condom Ad:** tourette  
**Papa bear:** *Touché  
**Condom Ad:** what does touching have to do w this  
**Papa bear:** Flug, I’m starting to see things from your perspective

 

**[Screenshot 3]**

**…**

**Hibiya:** Did I do something wrong, Meraki? (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** You’ve stopped talking to me  
**Hibiya:** Is your phone broken? (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Not that there’s something wrong with that  
**Hibiya:** I’m worried, you know (´･ω･`)  
**Wolfgang:** Please stop contacting me  
**Hibiya:** What do you mean?  
**Hibiya:** Do you want to meet in person then? (´･ω･`)  
**Hibiya:** Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow in college! (´･ω･`)

**…**

**Condom Ad:** lmao the guy cant catch a hint  
**Papa bear:** cough  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he kept bothering me after that  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** even went as far as trying to corner me on an empty hallway  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** then we had sex  
**Omega bitch:** WHAT  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** oh there you are  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** I was getting worried you’d traveled the country to seek your little revenge so I lied  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** we didnt have sex in a goddamn empty hallway  
**Omega bitch:** Good  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** it was in his parents’ basement  
**Omega bitch:** w H A T  
**Papa bear:** Flug, your sadistic side is showing  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** thank you, 5.0.5, I hadn’t noticed  
**Condom Ad:** can confirm, was basement

 

**[Screenshot 4]**

**…**

**Hibiya:** Why are you getting a restraining order against me?  
**Hibiya:** I thought we were friends…  
**Hibiya:** Meraki…  
**Hibiya:** I love you.  
**Hibiya:** But I guess you don’t understand that  
**Wolfgang:** I’m sorry  
**Hibiya:** It’s ok  
**Hibiya:** It’s my fault  
**Hibiya:** I’ve always been bad at expressing my feelings  
**Hibiya:** But please keep it in mind  
**Hibiya:** I’ll always love you, Meraki  
**Wolfgang:** Hibiya, I love someone else  
**Hibiya:** oh

**…**

**Papa bear:** No (´･ω･`)s?  
**Papa bear:** This is serious  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i thought that too  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** he stopped texting me after that  
**Condom Ad:** fpr like a week  
**Papa bear:** Is this the end?  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** no  
**Papa bear:** Oh god

 

**[Screenshot 5]**

**…**

**Hibiya:** Meraki  
**Hibiya:** I love you  
**Hibiya:** And I always will  
**Hibiya:** I’m sorry, I hope you forgive me  
**Hibiya:** But  
**Hibiya:** If I can’t have you  
**Hibiya:** Then nobody can

**…**

**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** and then he tried to kill me  
**Papa bear:** HWAT  
**Condom Ad:** bruh how do u think he ended up in jail  
**Papa bear:** I THOUGHT HE’D VIOLATED THE RESTRAINING ORDER OR WHATEVER  
**Papa bear:** I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS  
**Papa bear:** @Merakill me (´･ω･`) HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE??  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i bitch slapped him and he cried  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** and then he turned himself in  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** so yeah  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** college was wild  
**Condom Ad:** it was epic lmao  
**Omega bitch:** …  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** @Omega bitch what’s wrong now?  
**Omega bitch:** How does Demencia know all this?  
**Condom Ad:** he told me duh  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i told her  
**Omega bitch:** SO YOU TOLD THE RETARDED REPTILE BUT DIDN’T THINK ABOUT TELLING ME, YOUR _HUSBAND_ , ABOUT THIS???  
**Condom Ad:** yes  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** I DIDN’T TELL YOU BECAUSE I KNEW YOU’D REACT LIKE THIS  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** YOU ALWAYS DO THIS  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** YOU OVERREACT WAY TOO MUCH  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** I CAN _NEVER_ PROTECT MYSELF, YOU HAVE TO DO IT INSTEAD  
**Omega bitch:** I can’t believe you

 

**[Omega bitch left: Homobros Inc]**

**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** great  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** just great  
**Papa bear:** Yikes…  
**Condom Ad:** bh really shoul pull his hat outta his ass bc man  
**Papa bear:** @Merakill me (´･ω･`) Are you okay?  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** i need some time alone

 

 **[Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`) left: Homobros Inc]**

**Papa bear:** …  
**Condom Ad:** i bet u ten bucks theyre gonna have makeup sex later  
**Papa bear:** Are you serious??  
**Papa bear:** We might’ve just witnessed a divorce and you’re making lewd bets??  
**Condom Ad:** yes  
**Papa bear:** …  
**Papa bear:** The bet is on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And later that day 505 had to pay Demencia ten bucks
> 
>  
> 
> Based off of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails


	39. Woo-oo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huey: Why am I still here  
> Dewey: For the memes  
> Louie: 4 the incest  
> Huey: I only stay for one of these  
> Louie: definitely the incest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no self control

**Condom Ad:** LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE

 

 **[Papa bear joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`) joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Papa bear:** HERE IN DUCK BURG  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** RACE CARS, LASERS, AEROPLANES  
**Papa bear:** IT’S A DUCK BLUR  
**Condom Ad:** MIGT SOLVE A MYSTERY  
**Papa bear:** OR REWRITE HISTORY  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** DUCKTALES  
**Papa bear:** WOO-OO  
**Condom Ad:** WOOOO  
**Papa bear:** EVERY DAY THEY’RE OUT THERE MAKING  
**Condom Ad:** DUCKTALES  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** WOO-OO  
**Papa bear:** WOO-OO  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** TALES OF DARING DO BAD AND GOOD  
**Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`):** DUCKTALES  
**Papa bear:** WOO-OO  
**Condom Ad:** WOO OO  
**Condom Ad:** lmao this is gr8

 

 **[Condom Ad changed their name to: Louie]  
[Louie changed Papa bear’s name to: Dewey]  
[Louie changed Merakill me (´** ･ **ω** ･ **`)’s name to: Huey]**

**Huey:** This is going to get confusing very fast  
**Louie:** not if i keep making dick jokes  
**Dewey:** NO NEED  
**Huey:** RT  
**Louie:** i thought u guys liked my dik jokes  
**Louie:** specially u huey  
**Louie:** uve always been the gay one  
**Huey:** My name is not Huey  
**Huey:** Other than that the rest is true  
**Louie:** poor huey  
**Louie:** got so gay he forgot his own name  
**Dewey:** Is that possible?  
**Huey:** After everything I’ve gone through I’ve learned not to doubt anything  
**Louie:** hm  
**Louie:** still feel like im missin smtn

 

**[Omega bitch joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Omega bitch:** WTF IS THIS  
**Omega bitch:** GO BACK TO WORK  
**Omega bitch:** YOU USELESS PIECES OF SHIT  
**Louie:** ooh i got it

 

**[Louie changed Omega bitch’s name to: Uncle Scrooge]**

**Uncle Scrooge:** Fuck you  
**Louie:** thats incest  
**Dewey:** Should we move to Alabama now  
**Louie:** yes  
**Huey:** Why am I still here  
**Dewey:** For the memes  
**Louie:** 4 the incest  
**Huey:** I only stay for one of these  
**Louie:** definitely the incest  
**Dewey:** …Roll tide?  
**Huey:** bLOCKED  
**Louie:** rip  
**Louie:** some _BODY_  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I AM NOT QUITTING THIS CHAT SOLELY BECAUSE FLUG HAS A NICE ASS  
**Huey:** What is this? Flug’s ass appreciation day?  
**Louie:** _SWEET HOME ALABAMA_  
**Louie:** omg  
**Louie:** lets make flugs ass appreciation day a thing bh  
**Huey:** Black Hat would never do that  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I’m down  
**Huey:** nevermind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12/08 - Flug's ass appreciation day


	40. Top ten anime betrayals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louie: we went from a divorce t a marriage  
> Louie: thats the epitome of romance right here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BASED ON A TRUE STORY
> 
> Aka inspired by a dumb Discord convo where everyone married everyone

**[Uncle Scrooge joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Uncle Scrooge:** @Huey Marry me

 

 **[Huey joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Louie joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Dewey joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Huey:** Ok  
**Louie:** lmao that was so dry  
**Dewey:**  
**Huey:** Sorry, I’m still half-asleep  
**Uncle Scrooge:** WHY DO YOU NOT APPRECIATE MY LOVE  
**Louie:** bc love is gay  
**Huey:** I  
**Huey:** Yes  
**Uncle Scrooge:** HOW DARE YOU  
**Dewey:** Top ten anime betrayals  
**Louie:** right in the feelz  
**Uncle Scrooge:** W HY  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I’M DIVORCING YOU  
**Huey:** Ok  
**Dewey:** _Top ten anime betrayals_  
**Uncle Scrooge:** Fluuuuuuug  
**Huey:** Then we can marry again <3  
**Louie:** aw i was expecting a divorc or smtn  
**Huey:** Pink or blue this time?  
**Uncle Scrooge:** IT MUST BE THE COLOR OF MY SOUL  
**Huey:** Pink, then  
**Uncle Scrooge:** You wound me  
**Huey:** It’s my job  
**Dewey:** What’s the cake gonna be this time?  
**Uncle Scrooge:** T̕h͘e̛͞ ̸͠s͡o͡u͏̢l͠s ͏̴of ͡t̸h̢͘ę͢ in̡n͠o͠͝c͞en҉͘t͘  
**Huey:** Not after what happened last time  
**Louie:** wat happen??  
**Huey:** HE knows  
**Uncle Scrooge:** Ugh  
**Louie:** we went from a divorce t a marriage  
**Louie:** thats the epitome of romance right here  
**Dewey:** Did you know divorce cakes are a thing?  
**Uncle Scrooge:** Of fucking course  
**Huey:** Yes  
**Louie:** can i marry someone so i can divorce them  
**Huey:** I don’t think that’s possible, Demencia  
**Huey:** Because, no matter who you marry  
**Huey:** They’ll always divorce you first  
**Dewey:** …RIP Demencia’s dignity  
**Louie:** what dignity  
**Dewey:** You raise a good point  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I made a divorce cake once  
**Uncle Scrooge:** The woman wanted something written on it  
**Huey:** What was written on it?  
**Uncle Scrooge:** “I’ve always loved your brother”  
**Dewey:** _TOP TEN ANIME BETRAYALS  
_**Louie:** i want a divorce cake w ‘no homo’ on it  
**Louie:** but its gotta look as gay as possible  
**Louie:** w rainbows n sht  
**Huey:** It’s not gay if you don’t make eye contact  
**Uncle Scrooge:** Is this why you close your eyes during sex?  
**Huey:** ……..Yes  
**Louie:** hes secretly thinkin about planes  
**Huey:** WhatnoIwouldnever  
**Dewey:** Suspicious  
**Huey:** @Uncle Scrooge I want to wear the suit this time  
**Uncle Scrooge:** Whatever  
**Uncle Scrooge:** You can even be the priest if you want to  
**Louie:** CAN I BE THE PRIEST  
**Huey:** Okay, you’re the priest… somehow  
**Huey:** Fives, you can be the ring bearer  
**Dewey:** ….I’m ok with this  
**Louie:** I WANNA BE THE RING BEARR  
**Huey:** But you’re the priest  
**Louie:** r u implying i cant do both @ the saem time???  
**Huey:** Yes  
**Louie:** thats racist  
**Huey:** Yes  
**Huey:** Black Hat, you can be the flower girl  
**Uncle Scrooge:** WTF  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I’M THE FUCKING GROOM  
**Huey:** Yeah, everyone knows we bang a lot, but you’re still going to be the flower girl  
**Uncle Scrooge:** NO  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I DON’T TOUCH FLOWERS  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I AM A CREATURE OF EVIL AND DARKNESS  
**Uncle Scrooge:** NO HUMAN-MADE THING CAN MAKE ME BREAK  
**Huey:** Didn’t you cry during our wedding?  
**Uncle Scrooge:** YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL  
**Dewey:** _TOP TEN ANIME BETRAYALS_  
**Louie:** how many anime betrayals have there been  
**Dewey:** Four  
**Louie:** lets aim for 666  
**Dewey:** Yes  
**Huey:** If I’m going to wear a dress I’ll be wearing black  
**Louie:** like ur soul  
**Huey:** What soul?  
**Louie:** touching  
**Dewey:** I think you mean “touché”  
**Louie:** ye that too  
**Louie:** ill wear a bikini  
**Uncle Scrooge:** No  
**Huey:** Yes  
**Uncle Scrooge:**???  
**Huey:** I’ll be wearing my skeleton  
**Dewey:** You don’t wear your skeleton, your skeleton wears you  
**Louie:** oml  
**Louie:** i mean ur not wrong  
**Huey:** Can we just pause and appreciate this quote for a second  
**Louie:** OH  
**Louie:** what if we all marry each other  
**Uncle Scrooge:** NO  
**Huey:** YES  
**Uncle Scrooge:** WHY ARE YOU NEVER ON MY SIDE  
**Huey:** Dunno  
**Dewey:** TOP TEN ANIME BETRAYALS  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I’m not marrying her  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I’m already taken  
**Louie:** i can always kill them for u  
**Dewey:** Ah  
**Dewey:** Nothing more romantic than slaughtering everyone your spouse loves  
**Huey:** Because when push comes to shove  
**Huey:** I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love  
**Louie:** thats my kink  
**Huey:** I regret this  
**Huey:** But hey Black Hat  
**Huey:** I love you  
**Uncle Scrooge:** I hate you  
**Huey:** You didn’t think so yesterday ;)  
**Dewey:** TOP TEN ANIME- Oh nevermind  
**Louie:** im going to licc  
**Louie:** the altar  
**Dewey:** Why am I not surprised?  
**Huey:** Same, Fives, same  
**Louie:** and then im gonna licc  
**Louie:** the groom  
**Dewey:** Which one?  
**Louie:** its a surprise ;)  
**Uncle Scrooge:** No  
**Huey:** Yes  
**Uncle Scrooge:** Flug why  
**Uncle Scrooge:** @Dewey If you say “top ten anime betrayals” again I’ll rip your fur out  
**Dewey:** TOP TEN ANIME BETRAYALS  
**Dewey:** WAITWAIT  
**Dewey:** I TAKE IT BACK  
**Dewey:** fAK  
**Louie:** wheeze  
**Huey:** RUN FORREST RUN

 

**[Dewey left: Homobros Inc]  
[Uncle Scrooge left: Homobros Inc]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the "admin" in front of Demencia's nickname because I forgot :v  
> also  
> Kayle I love u <3


	41. How is prangent formed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louie: well  
> Louie: when mommy n daddy love each other very much  
> Louie: they do the sex  
> Louie: tje end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kill me before it spreads

**[Admin Louie joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Louie:** @Huey  
**Louie:** guess what

 

**[Huey joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Huey:** What?  
**Louie:** im pregnant  
**Huey:** eXCUSE ME  
**Louie:** pergenat  
**Huey:** YOU’RE GODDAMN PREGNANT??  
**Louie:** pargant  
**Huey:** HOW  
**Louie:** gregnant  
**Huey:** WHO  
**Louie:** pegrent  
**Huey:** WHEN  
**Louie:** pregonate  
**Huey:** PLEASE DON’T TELL ME IT’S ROBERT’S CHILD  
**Louie:** pregante  
**Huey:** I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK  
**Louie:** pragnet  
**Huey:** DO YOU EVEN HAVE A UTERUS  
**Louie:** pregnart  
**Huey:** DO YOU EVEN HAVE A _VAGINA  
_**Louie:** bregant  
**Huey:** STOP DOING THAT  
**Louie:** peegnant  
**Huey:** ANSWER ME  
**Louie:  
Louie: ** pregananant  
**Huey:** I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF  
**Louie:** omae wa mou shindeiru  
**Huey:** I’m not doing it  
**Louie:** u now u want 2  
**Huey:** NO  
**Louie:  
Louie:  
Louie:  
Huey: ** FINE  
**Huey:** _NANI  
_**Huey:** ARE YOU HAPPY NOW  
**Louie:** yes  
**Huey:** BUT  
**Huey:** YOU’RE _PREGNANT_  
**Huey:** HOW  
**Louie:** well  
**Louie:** when mommy n daddy love each other very much  
**Louie:** they do the sex  
**Louie:** tje end  
**Huey:** I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT  
**Louie:** pff  
**Louie:** april fools moron  
**Huey:** IT’S DECEMBER  
**Louie:** whats the difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg


	42. GONNA HAVE SEX WITH THE BEES AND THE EAGLES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irene: Why this  
> Sukasa: idk  
> Sukasa: the unverse works in mysterious ways  
> Irene: You said that same thing yesterday when I asked why you licked my underwear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MILD ATTACK ON TITAN SPOILERS

**[Admin Louie joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Louie changed Uncle Scrooge’s name to: Ravioli]**  
**[Admin Louie changed Huey’s name to: Irene]**  
**[Admin Louie changed their name to: Sukasa]**  
**[Admin Louie changed Dewey’s name to: Armout]**  
**[Irene joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Irene:** Why this  
**Sukasa:** idk  
**Sukasa:** the unverse works in mysterious ways  
**Irene:** You said that same thing yesterday when I asked why you licked my underwear

**[Ravioli joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Armout joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Ravioli:** What now  
**Armout:** Are those from Attack on Titan?  
**Sukasa:** yes  
**Irene:** Why am I Eren?  
**Sukasa:** bc everyone ships u w levi even tho its an unhealthy dynamic  
**Irene:** I  
**Irene:** I can’t argue with that  
**Ravioli:** Flug why  
**Irene:** Sorry, can’t argue with logic  
**Irene:** Besides, I’ve been kidnapped  
**Armout:** SPOILERS  
**Irene:** You haven’t finished watching it yet?  
**Irene:** How could you  
**Armout:** IT’S DIFFICULT OKAY  
**Sukasa:** ravioli where r you  
**Sukasa:** ur husbands fighting w his bff  
**Armout:** Quiet  
**Armout:** You’re the one promoting incest  
**Sukasa:** its not incest if im adopted  
**Irene:** Yes it is  
**Armout:** Yes it is  
**Ravioli:** Yes it is  
**Sukasa:** pff who cares incest is nicest  
**Irene:** I hate this chat  
**Armout:** Speaking of AOT, who loves the opening?  
**Ravioli:** It’s the only thing that doesn’t suck in anime  
**Ravioli:** I’m still having the Boku no Pico flashbacks  
**Irene:** Ah yes, the opening  
**Irene:** I was kind of surprised at first that it was German  
**Armout:** Can you sing it?  
**Irene:** Out loud? Yes, but I type better  
**Irene:** Seid ihr das essen? Nein, wir sind der Jäger!  
**Sukasa:** GONNA HAVE SEX WITH THE BEES AND THE EAGLES  
**Armout:** …This is original  
**Sukasa:** HOT HOT HOT HOT  
**Irene:** Fuck you  
**Irene:** Now I’ll never hear it the same way ever again  
**Sukasa:** wincest  
**Irene:** N O  
**Sukasa:** YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT  
**Sukasa:** HIT ME WITH YOUR COLOSSAL  
**Sukasa:** HAND  
**Ravioli:** I will kill everyone in this chat and then myself  
**Armout:** @Ravioli Suicide pact?  
**Ravioli:** @Armout You’re immortal  
**Armout:** I’m destined to suffer  
**Irene:** I WILL NOT  
**Irene:** @Ravioli Kill me please  
**Sukasa:** dont worry you die on episode 5  
**Irene:** Thank god  
**Armout:** And then you come back  
**Irene:** God why  
**Irene:** I can’t even die in peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Attack on Titan okay
> 
> EDIT: Irene is my grandma's name


	43. MERRY CHASTITY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sukasa: haha  
> Sukasa: no

**[Admin Sukasa joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Sukasa:** MERRY CHASTITY

 

**[Irene joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Irene:** I think you mean ‘Christmas’  
**Sukasa:** haha  
**Sukasa:** no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very underwhelming christmas chapter


	44. Merry shitscram

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armout: Why am I still here  
> Sukasa: for flugs ass  
> Armout: nO

**[Admin Sukasa joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Sukasa:** MERRY SHITSCRAM

 

**[Armout joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Armout:** Merry what  
**Sukasa:** shitscram  
**Armout:** What is that?  
**Sukasa:** dunno  
**Armout:** Then why are you announcing it?  
**Sukasa:** dunno  
**Armout:** Why am I still here  
**Sukasa:** for flugs ass  
**Armout:** nO

 

**[Irene joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Ravioli joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Irene:** CAN EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT MY ASS  
**Armout:** No  
**Sukasa:** no  
**Ravioli:** No  
**Irene:** How could you  
**Irene:** My own husband  
**Ravioli:** What the fuck is shitscram  
**Sukasa:** im glad u asked  
**Irene:** Look at what you did  
**Sukasa:** bc i dont know  
**Ravioli:** Don’t blame me  
**Ravioli:** You still owe me  
**Irene:** Oh, not that again  
**Armout:**???  
**Ravioli:** I saved you from being executed  
**Irene:** IT WAS ONLY ONE TIME  
**Irene:** YOU KICKED ME IN FRONT OF AN ENTIRE COURTROOM  
**Ravioli:** I saved your ass  
**Irene:** sTOP TALKING ABOUT MY ASS  
**Ravioli:** Never  
**Armout:** I don’t think this is the best time to roleplay  
**Ravioli:** What the fuck are you talking about  
**Armout:** Oh god you’re not roleplaying  
**Irene:** I’m just  
**Irene:** going to bake some cookies  
**Armout:** Flug, we talked about that  
**Armout:** You promised you wouldn’t angry bake anymore  
**Sukasa:** whats angry bake  
**Armout:** What part of it did you not get  
**Armout:** WHAT IS THERE NOT TO GET  
**Sukasa:** uh  
**Irene:** IT’S TOO LATE I AM ANGRILY BAKING COOKIES  
**Irene:** ANGRILY  
**Armout:** @Ravioli He’s going to give you cookies with angry faces on them  
**Ravioli:** I still have his ass, so I win  
**Irene:** I’m not having sex with you for a year  
**Irene:** Therefore you no longer have my ass  
**Ravioli:** What  
**Sukasa:** rip black hat  
**Armout:** Top ten anime deaths  
**Sukasa:** lmao ‘you no longer hav my ass’  
**Sukasa:** kinda like the hobbit  
**Sukasa:** ‘you have my sword’  
**Sukasa:** ‘and my bow’  
**Sukasa:** ‘AND MY ASS’  
**Ravioli:** They’d be lucky to have Flug’s ass  
**Sukasa:** flugs ass can defeat smaug  
**Ravioli:** Flug’s ass beats Legolas’s ass  
**Sukasa:** idk id call it a draw  
**Irene:** @Ravioli  
**Irene:** Are you comparing my ass to Legolas’s  
**Ravioli:** Yes  
**Irene:** I give up  
**Armout:** Mood  
**Ravioli:** Don’t worry  
**Ravioli:** I still love your ass more  
**Irene:** …….thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna make something funny about christmas but then it turned into a discussion about Flug's ass


	45. #killsjena2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ravioli: I will KILL him  
> Irene: Please don’t  
> Irene: Sir?  
> Irene: Black Hat?  
> Sukasa: guess sjena will die npw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you who don't read Streak of luck will be confused af

**[Admin Sukasa joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Sukasa:** im gonna slap a bitch

 

**[Irene joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Irene:** Do not  
**Sukasa:** but mooom  
**Irene:** Please  
**Sukasa:** fine  
**Sukasa:** but only bc u asked  
**Sukasa:** damn omega charm  
**Irene:** Thank you  
**Sukasa:** BUT  
**Irene:** Oh god, there’s a ‘but’  
**Sukasa:** if he keeps talking shit ill slap him  
**Irene:** Demencia, no  
**Sukasa:** demencia yes

 

**[Ravioli joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Ravioli:** I WILL KILL HIM  
**Irene:** I can’t win  
**Sukasa:** nope  
**Sukasa:** #killsjena2017  
**Ravioli:** I completely support this poorly-written hashtag  
**Irene:** Oh no, you two teamed up  
**Irene:** @Ravioli @Sukasa Please don’t kill him  
**Irene:** That’ll ruin the ball for everyone else  
**Ravioli:** …  
**Irene:** Please?  
**Ravioli:** FINE  
**Sukasa:** flug & his mysterious omega powers  
**Sukasa:** bringin the alphas to their knees  
**Ravioli:** BUT  
**Irene:** Why me  
**Ravioli:** If he hurts you, I will tear him to pieces  
**Sukasa:** question  
**Sukasa:** does looking at him count as harm  
**Ravioli:** Now it does  
**Irene:** CAN’T WE JUST BE A NORMAL CREW FOR A DAY  
**Sukasa:** nop  
**Sukasa:** that sjena bitch aint hurting no bro of mine  
**Irene:** He never hurt me  
**Sukasa:** dude he insulted you  
**Sukasa:** multiple times  
**Irene:** It’s not insulting if it’s the truth…  
**Sukasa:** eXCUSE ME  
**Sukasa:** i heard no truths  
**Ravioli:** He’s making you doubt yourself  
**Ravioli:** He’s hurting you psychologically  
**Ravioli:** I will KILL him  
**Irene:** Please don’t  
**Irene:** Sir?  
**Irene:** Black Hat?  
**Sukasa:** guess sjena will die npw  
**Irene:** Oh no  
**Sukasa:** poor sjena i feel sorry for him  
**Sukasa:** jk i hope he dies  
**Irene:** Why can’t you all just relax for a second?  
**Ravioli:** Not all of us have the nature of an omega  
**Irene:** What’s that supposed to mean?  
**Sukasa:** well youre always calm and shit  
**Sukasa:** and you dont wanna hurt sjena  
**Irene:** I don’t want to ruin things for others  
**Irene:** It’s not some omega-related thing  
**Irene:** I think  
**Sukasa:** pfft im sure other people r gonna agree w us  
**Ravioli:** I’ve spotted the prey  
**Ravioli:** Time to die bitch  
**Irene:** Alpha  
**Irene:** Please don’t do this  
**Irene:** For me?  
**Ravioli:** ….  
**Ravioli:** You’ll be the fucking death of me  
**Irene:** Sorry  
**Sukasa:** dont apologize hes your bitch now  
**Ravioli:** What the fuck are you talking about you oversized reptile  
**Sukasa:** nothing at all  
**Sukasa:** but lemme just  
**Sukasa:** #killsjena2017  
**Irene:** Kill me  
**Sukasa:** not unless ur sjena  
**Irene:** Pretend I’m him and end my suffering  
**Ravioli:** I’d never harm you  
**Sukasa:** aw what a strangely creepy romance  
**Ravioli:** What’s that supposed to mean  
**Sukasa:** nothing  
**Sukasa:** im not breaking the fourth wall  
**Ravioli:** What the fuck is a fourth wall  
**Irene:** It doesn’t matter  
**Irene:** At least you’re not talking about Sjena  
**Ravioli:** Oh, thanks for reminding me  
**Irene:** Why  
**Sukasa:** #killsjena2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Sjena  
> nobody cares about you lmao


	46. Curious George AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armout: I want die  
> Irene: I’m already dead inside so it doesn’t matter to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a convo on Discord. I have no idea how it started, don't ask me.

**[Armout joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Armout:** @Everyone  
**Armout:** Can everyone please tell who they are?  
**Armout:** I’m already getting a migraine trying to figure things out

 

**[Admin Sukasa joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Irene joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Sukasa:** im flug  
**Irene:** Bitch what  
**Irene:** No you’re not  
**Sukasa:** this is exactly what someone whos NOT flug would say  
**Armout:** End my suffering  
**Sukasa:** i thought bh had done that to u  
**Armout:** I’m immortal  
**Sukasa:** but ur the good one D:  
**Irene:** He said immortal, not IMMORAL  
**Sukasa:** oooh  
**Sukasa:** whats immortal  
**Irene:** Petition to ban Demencia from the universe  
**Armout:** Yes  
**Sukasa:** thats racist  
**Irene:** Shut up  
**Sukasa:** thats sexist  
**Armout:** Are you making this up or do you really think this is sexist?  
**Sukasa:  
Sukasa: ** yes

 

**[Ravioli joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Ravioli:** WHY DOES NOBODY WORK IN THIS DAMNED MANOR  
**Ravioli:** I DON’T PAY YOU BITCHES TO LIE AROUND AND BOONDOGGLE  
**Irene:** What the fuck is boondoggle  
**Armout:** It sounds like an alternative name to hotdogs  
**Irene:** I’m calling hotdogs boondoggles now  
**Irene:** Nobody can stop me  
**Sukasa:** i just found paperhat sin  
**Sukasa:**  
**Armout:** I want die  
**Irene:** I’m already dead inside so it doesn’t matter to me  
**Ravioli:** WTF  
**Ravioli:** THAT’S NOT ME  
**Ravioli:** ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH  
**Sukasa:** ys but that doesnt matter now does it  
**Ravioli:** YES IT FUCKING DOES

 

**[Admin Sukasa changed Ravioli’s name to: Yellow ho]  
[Admin Sukasa changed Irene’s name to: Monkey bitch]**

**Monkey bitch:** Excuse you  
**Sukasa:** yes  
**Yellow ho:** WTF IS THIS  
**Monkey bitch:** Uh  
**Monkey bitch:** Have you ever watched Curious George?  
**Yellow ho:** WTF IS CURIOUS GEORGE  
**Monkey bitch:** I cannot believe you right now  
**Armout:** I have so many questions  
**Monkey bitch:** Me too  
**Monkey bitch:** @Yellow ho How have you never watched Curious George?  
**Monkey bitch:** I feel cheated  
**Yellow ho:** I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me neither, Black Hat, me neither...
> 
> EDIT: Black Hat's always screaming as you can see.


	47. Moist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moist bear: What happened here  
> Gay moist: Moist

**[Monkey bitch joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Monkey bitch:** @Yellow ho **  
Monkey bitch:** Moist

 

**[Yellow ho joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Yellow ho:** wtf  
**Monkey bitch:** _Moist_  
**Yellow ho:** Stop  
**Monkey bitch:** Never  
**Yellow ho:** Why did I marry you  
**Monkey bitch:** You know you love me bitch  
**Monkey bitch:** Our love is moist  
**Yellow ho:** I want a divorce

 

**[Admin Sukasa joined: Homobros Inc]**   
**[Admin Sukasa changed their name to: Moistmencia]**   
**[Admin Moistmencia changed Monkey ho’s name to: Gay moist]**   
**[Admin Moistmencia changed Yellow ho’s name to: Moist hat]**   
**[Admin Moistmencia changed Armout’s name to: Moist bear]**

**Moist hat:** Fuck you  
**Moistmencia:** yes pls  
**Gay moist:** Excuse me bitch  
**Moistmencia:** youre excused  
**Gay moist:** I  
**Gay moist:** Thank you

 

**[Moist bear joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Moist bear:** What happened here  
**Gay moist:** Moist

 

**[Moist bear left: Homobros Inc]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you, Discord, you turned me into a monster


	48. Coco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay moist: how dare  
> Gay moist: i’m not stoned  
> Gay moist: i’m gay  
> Moistmencia: hi gay  
> Gay moist: don’t you dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MILD COCO SPOILERS
> 
> Also I saw Coco and needed to do this

**Gay moist:** i just want to say  
**Gay moist:** i fucking hate coco

 

**[Moist bear joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Moist bear:** What? Why?  
**Gay moist:** that shit made me cry like a five year old  
**Gay moist:** i did not consent to the movie playing with my feelings

 

**[Moistmencia joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Moistmencia:** lmao u cried??  
**Gay moist:** i was stoned okay  
**Moist bear:** You watched Coco stoned?  
**Gay moist:** i saw that movie on a whole new level none of you mortals would be capable of understanding  
**Moistmencia:** ur still stoned arent u  
**Gay moist:** this is irrelevant  
**Moist bear:** Lapslock  
**Moist bear:** He’s totally stoned  
**Gay moist:** how dare  
**Gay moist:** i’m not stoned  
**Gay moist:** i’m gay  
**Moistmencia:** hi gay  
**Gay moist:** don’t you dare  
**Moistmencia:** okay  
**Gay moist:** thank you  
**Moistmencia:** I’M DAD  
**Moistmencia:** BETRAYED  
**Gay moist:** i’m hurt  
**Gay moist:** and if you make a second dad joke i’m disowning you  
**Moistmencia:** okay hurt  
**Gay moist:** …  
**Moist bear:** You two are weird

 

 **[Moistmencia changed their name to: Miguel]**  
**[Miguel changed Gay moist’s name to: Hector]**  
**[Miguel changed Moist hat’s name to: Imelda]**  
**[Miguel changed Moist bear’s name to: Pepita]**

**Pepita:** The fuck  
**Pepita:** Why am I pepita  
**Pepita:** Of all the characters you could choose  
**Miguel:** ur right

 

**[Miguel changed Pepita’s name to: Frida Kahlo]**

**Frida Kahlo:** This is somehow worse  
**Miguel:** cant please every1 m8  
**Hector:** why am i hector?  
**Miguel:** im pretty sure hector ws stoned too  
**Hector:** can skeletons get stoned?  
**Frida Kahlo:** Top ten unsolved anime mysteries  
**Miguel:** x files theme  
**Hector:** also  
**Hector:** 505 could be that dog  
**Hector:** delta or something  
**Frida Kahlo:** You hurt me  
**Frida Kahlo:** I’m much smarter than Dante  
**Hector:** yeah sure  
**Miguel:** wow that was so cold lmao  
**Frida Kahlo:** :(  
**Hector:** sorry i’m stoned  
**Miguel:** i thought you were gay  
**Hector:** por que no los dos  
**Miguel:** un poco loco  
**Frida Kahlo:** I can’t speak Spanish  
**Miguel:** lo siento  
**Hector:** reememberrrrrr meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
**Miguel:** NEAAAAAAR  
**Miguel:** FAAAARR  
**Miguel:** WHEREEEEVER YOU AAAAAAARE  
**Frida Kahlo:** I’m having the war flashbacks  
**Frida Kahlo:** PTSD  
**Miguel:** ILL NEVER LET GO FRIDA  
**Frida Kahlo:** …No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me right now: http://gifimage.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/everything-i-touch-dies-gif-10.gif


	49. Flug's ass appreciation day... again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miguel: bitch  
> Miguel: every day is flugs ass appreciation day

**Miguel:** do you know what day it is today

 

**[Hector joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Frida Kahlo joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Hector:** No  
**Frida Kahlo:** I’m slightly afraid to ask  
**Miguel:** its flugs ass appreciation day  
**Hector:** NO  
**Miguel:** bitch  
**Miguel:** every day is flugs ass appreciation day  
**Hector:** NO  
**Miguel:** YES  
**Frida Kahlo:** WHO IS WHO  
**Frida Kahlo:** I’m so confused  
**Hector:** UM  
**Hector:** IS IT NOT OBVIOUS  
**Frida Kahlo:** Uh  
**Miguel:** im baking a flugs ass appreciation day cake  
**Frida Kahlo:** A little  
**Hector:** Thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk just kill me now


	50. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frida Kahlo: I feel like those two have become one single entity  
> Daddy: ;)  
> Miguel: ;)  
> Hector: Well, the world hasn’t imploded yet  
> Hector: Lame

**Mahkachan:** CHAPTER 50 MOTHERFUCKERS

 

 **[Imelda joined: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Admin Miguel joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Hector joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Frida Kahlo joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Imelda:** Who the fuck are you  
**Mahkachan:** your daddy  
**Hector:** I thought you were a female  
**Mahkachan:** I actually identify as an attack helicopter  
**Frida Kahlo:** Of course you do  
**Miguel:** hi daddy  
**Mahkachan:** hello child

 

**[Admin Miguel changed Mahkachan’s name to: Daddy]**

**Daddy:** I’m okay with this  
**Frida Kahlo:** are you high  
**Daddy:** i’m 4’9, so no  
**Imelda:** You’re short as heck  
**Daddy:** and you’re gay as heck  
**Hector:** True that  
**Imelda:** Why are you never on my side  
**Hector:** I love you, but you’re gay  
**Imelda:** No I’m not  
**Daddy:** i know who you are my child  
**Daddy:** and my daddy senses say you’re gay af  
**Imelda:** Shut up  
**Imelda:** @Hector Make her shut up  
**Hector:** …No  
**Imelda:** WHY ARE YOU NEVER ON MY SIDE  
**Hector:** That’s gay  
**Imelda:** You wound me  
**Hector:** That’s my job, darling ;)  
**Frida Kahlo:** Am I witnessing a second divorce  
**Hector:** Divorces are gay  
**Daddy:** it’s scientifically proven that divorces are 67% gay  
**Miguel:** 90% of statistics are made up  
**Daddy:** 70% of people believe that  
**Miguel:** only 20% of people are saying the truth  
**Frida Kahlo:** I feel like those two have become one single entity  
**Daddy:** ;)  
**Miguel:** ;)  
**Hector:** Well, the world hasn’t imploded yet  
**Hector:** Lame  
**Imelda:** May we kick her out yet?  
**Daddy:** nope  
**Daddy:** i’m unkickable  
**Hector:** That’s not a word  
**Daddy:** you’re not a word  
**Hector:** I mean  
**Imelda:** Cough  
**Frida Kahlo:** Has the world imploded yet  
**Miguel:** nah  
**Frida Kahlo:** Dammit  
**Daddy:** NO CURSING ON MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER  
**Frida Kahlo:** Dammit  
**Daddy:** that’s it  
**Daddy:** go to your time out corner and think about what you’ve done  
**Miguel:** like a true daddy  
**Daddy:** yes  
**Daddy:** that’s me  
**Daddy:** your dad  
**Daddy:** cough  
**Miguel:** you were gone for like 10 years  
**Daddy:** i had to buy cigarettes  
**Hector:** 10 _YEARS_  
**Daddy:** they were very good cigarettes  
**Imelda:** ARE YOU FUCKING ROLEPLAYING  
**Daddy:** i see your capslock button is still stuck  
**Imelda:** FUCK YOU  
**Daddy:** that’s incest  
**Imelda:** Still fuck you  
**Daddy:** that’s still incest  
**Hector:** Undiscovered kinks going on here  
**Miguel:** im enjoying this conversation so far  
**Hector:** Of course you are  
**Daddy:** thank you for allowing me to talk to you my children  
**Daddy:** but now i must go  
**Miguel:** aw :(  
**Imelda:** Thank fucking god  
**Daddy:** i haven’t heard about this kink yet  
**Imelda:** Shut up  
**Daddy:** don’t reply to your daddy  
**Imelda:** Shut the fuck up  
**Daddy:** go to your time out corner  
**Daddy:** you can come out 5.0.5  
**Frida Kahlo:** Well this has been a weird day  
**Hector:** Are you really going?  
**Daddy:** unfortunately, my child  
**Daddy:** but i’ll be back on chapter 100  
**Hector:** Chapter?  
**Daddy:** um goodbye children

 

**[Daddy left: Homobros Inc]**

**Frida Kahlo:** What just happened  
**Miguel:** we met daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp


	51. #killsjena2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imelda: I will track him down and choke him with my bare hands  
> Miguel: #killsjena2018  
> Hector: Can you stop with this stupid hashtag?  
> Miguel: never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of a plot-based chapter than anything~
> 
> This is a small sneak peek to what awaits you in the next few chapters of Streak of luck. Enjoy.

**[Hector joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Hector:** Well, this night was a disaster

 

**[Miguel joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Imelda joined: Homobros Inc]**

 

 **Miguel:** ttly worth it lmao  
**Miguel:** hows ur face?  
**Hector:** Still hurts, but I’m fine  
**Imelda:** I should’ve killed that fucking bastard there and then as painfully as possible  
**Hector:** It’s okay, everyone, really  
**Hector:** You all overreacted  
**Miguel:** lmao sure  
**Miguel:** we _overreacted_  
**Miguel:** of course  
**Hector:** I was in control of the situation until you both arrived  
**Miguel:** oh so now its our fault  
**Miguel:** we saved ur ass  
**Imelda:** I will track him down and choke him with my bare hands  
**Miguel:** #killsjena2018  
**Hector:** Can you stop with this stupid hashtag?  
**Miguel:** never  
**Miguel:** besides i also wanna try and kill sjena  
**Miguel:** i will drink hs blood and use his skin as a towel  
**Imelda:** Good fucking luck  
**Imelda:** I will kill him before you can blink  
**Miguel:** i blinked is he dead yet  
**Hector:** I appreciate the gesture  
**Hector:** But it’ll be fine  
**Imelda:** He will come back for you  
**Imelda:** And I will kill him before it happens  
**Hector:** I can defend myself  
**Imelda:** NO, YOU CAN’T  
**Hector:** …  
**Hector:** Is this what you really think?  
**Hector:** That I’m _that_ useless?  
**Imelda:** That’s not that I meant and you know it  
**Miguel:** dont worry bro hes just going full alpha mode on u  
**Miguel:** make him ur bitch  
**Miguel:** w ur mysterious omega powers  
**Hector:** I don’t have “mysterious omega powers”  
**Hector:** It’s called charm and everyone has it  
**Miguel:** pfffffffft yeah sure  
**Miguel:** even sjena  
**Hector:** Well, he could be charming if he tried  
**Miguel:** i bet u 10 dollars black hats growling rn  
**Imelda:** How can you call that piece of shit charming?  
**Hector:** I didn’t call him charming  
**Hector:** I said he COULD be charming if he tried  
**Miguel:** i mean if by charming you mean insufferable asshole thjen yes  
**Miguel:** very fucking charming  
**Imelda:** Never speak about him in this way again  
**Hector:** You don’t have the right to order me around as if you were my alpha  
**Imelda:** I _AM_ YOUR ALPHA AND YOU WILL OBEY ME  
**Miguel:** holy shit dude

 

**[Hector left: Homobros Inc]  
[Hector blocked: Imelda]**

**Miguel:** good job  
**Miguel:** an absolute gentleman  
**Imelda:** What the fuck did I do  
**Miguel:** um  
**Miguel:** 1) u acted like u were his dad  
**Miguel:** 2) u were an ass  
**Miguel:** pull ur hat out of ur ass and use ur brain for once

 

**[Miguel left: Homobros Inc]**

**Imelda:** …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S O O N


	52. 38(2)131(2) 0(2)85 35(2)45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imelda: What the fuck is happening

**Hector:** 9’1(2) 715(3)  
**Miguel:** 5(3)59(2)  
**Hector:** 4(2)5(2)25(2)45(3) 19(2)1(2)54 5(3)5(2)1(3)  
**Miguel:** 3(3)5(2)3(3) 8(2)1(3)45 **  
Imelda:** What the fuck is happening  
**Miguel:** 4(2)5(2)0(2)894(2)7, 418(2)2(2)94(2)7, 4(2)5(2)0(2)894(2)7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys were trying to find a code on chapter 18 when there was none, so I created this chapter for you guys~
> 
> R29vZCBsdWNr==


	53. Kidney stones make great necklaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miguel: existence is pain  
> Imelda: I agree, Demencia  
> Imelda: Your existence is a pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter's answer will be on the comment section if y'all wanna know.

**Hector:** Hello, I’m here to say I’m humbly selling my kidney for being a huge asshole  
**Miguel:** ooh i’ll buy it  
**Hector:** Great  
**Hector:** Come to my room  
**Hector:** And bring a knife on your way in  
**Hector:** And vodka  
**Miguel:** i gotchu  
**Imelda:** Bitch, don’t listen to him  
**Hector:** Excuse me darling the adults are talking  
**Miguel:** sick burn  
**Imelda:** Excuse you  
**Hector:** Alright, thank you, bye  
**Imelda:** Wait  
**Imelda:** That’s not what I meant you idiot  
**Hector:** I just want to lie down and never wake up again  
**Miguel:** mood  
**Hector:** You need some help if that’s your mood  
**Miguel:** mood  
**Imelda:** I’m sorry for wanting to see you with both kidneys  
**Imelda:** You already took Doecil, what else do you want  
**Hector:** I want this kidney out  
**Hector:** It has betrayed me  
**Imelda:** You sound like a child  
**Hector:** And you sound like someone who’s never had kidney stones  
**Imelda:** You’re right, I haven’t had kidney stones  
**Hector:** Ha  
**Imelda:** But I’ve had my head ripped out more times than you can imagine, and it sure as hell isn’t pleasant  
**Hector:** Funny, I’m sure you got your brain ripped out during one of those times  
**Imelda:** Why are you doing this  
**Hector:** pAIN  
**Miguel:** mood  
**Miguel:** like mr meeseeks  
**Miguel:** existence is pain  
**Imelda:** I agree, Demencia  
**Imelda:** Your existence is a pain  
**Miguel:** lmao that was so epic im not even mad bro  
**Hector:** Did you guys know they sell kidney stones to make jewelry?  
**Hector:** I wasn’t aware that was a thing  
**Miguel:** pain jewelry  
**Hector:** I’m ready to buy some dilaudid from the dark web  
**Miguel:** isnt that illegal  
**Hector:** Do you know what the word ‘villain’ means?  
**Miguel:** no  
**Imelda:** Explains a lot  
**Miguel:** thanks bby  
**Miguel:** @Hector hows ur kidney now  
**Hector:** Still being a bitch, thanks for asking  
**Miguel:** ur welcome bro  
**Hector:** Already bought the dilaudid  
**Imelda:** Do you know what happened last time?  
**Hector:** You said I said I felt like soup and consonants  
**Imelda:** It was like you were fucking high  
**Hector:** I know right?  
**Hector:** It was awesome  
**Hector:** While I wait for the dilaudid I’m going to rip this kidney out, bye  
**Imelda:** Why are we still together  
**Hector:** I’ll make a necklace for you with my kidney stones  
**Imelda:** …Ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't kidney stones grand?


	54. mEmEs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hector: What is this  
> Miguel: mEmEs  
> Hector: America is doomed

**Miguel:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrVYD2Ac6nM>

 

**[Hector joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Hector:** What is this  
**Miguel:** mEmEs  
**Hector:** America is doomed

 

 **[Admin Miguel changed their name to: Dimencia]**  
**[Admin Dimencia changed Hector’s name to: Flag]**  
 **[Admin Dimencia changed Imelda’s name to: Black Hag]**  
 **[Admin Dimencia changed Frida Kahlo’s name to: Beer]**  
 **[Beer joined: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Black Hag joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Beer:** Why ‘beer’?  
**Flag:** I feel so attacked right now  
**Dimencia:** bc ur a beer  
**Beer:** I’m not  
**Dimencia:** yes u r  
**Beer:** Like Flug, I feel so attacked right now  
**Black Hag:** Change this right now  
**Dimencia:** only if u admit im sexy  
**Black Hat:** Never  
**Dimencia:** have fun being a hag than  
**Flag:** She got you  
**Black Hag:** Shut up Flag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT:
> 
> I feel like I need to explain myself. If you're here to just read the chapter and leave, then do it, but I would love if you stayed. I need to explain a few things. Despite my immense progress with chapter 13, Streak of luck isn't coming out anytime soon. I'm sorry, but there's one thing I need to confess, and you might not know unless you know me personally or are on a Villainous Discord server... I have an eating disorder. I've dropped 12 lbs (5,5 kg) in a week because I constantly starved myself. While trapped in this state, I barely had (and I still barely have) energy for anything. I'm trying to get better but it'll be a long process. I cannot eat over 300 calories per day because of extreme guilt. I've deloped a lack of appetite, something called Anorexia, and am already heading towards Anorexia Nervosa. I'm trying my absolute best to recover but I feel like a failure if I drink more cups of water than I'm allowed. 
> 
> Despite being 131 lbs, I can't help but see myself as obese and keep trying to lose more and more weight. Everything I eat my body tries to push back. I've probably ruined my body already, but, surprisingly, I don't care. I'm not trying to garner pity, trust me, but I want you all to know the reason I no longer update as frequently. I don't have energy to get out of bed. I sleep most of the time, because sleeping does not require energy. If I don't update in two months, assume I'm either dead or hospitalized. 
> 
> I'm sorry. 
> 
> I'm so sorry.


	55. Navidad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Flag blocked: Dimencia]

**[Admin Dimencia joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Dimencia:** i wanna meet a dad named navid who likes christmas

 

**[Flag joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flag:** Dare I ask why?  
**Dimencia:** so i can call him navidad

 

**[Flag blocked: Dimencia]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do I come up with those puns


	56. How I found out I don't like scat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimencia: it was awesome   
> Dimencia: 10/10 would do again  
> Dimencia: but ya this is how i found out i dont like scat

**[Admin Dimencia joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Dimencia:** okay so it turns out im not into scat

 

**[Flag joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flag:**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYVP3X3ECoA> **  
Dimencia:** let me tell you  
**Flag:** I’m kinkshaming  
**Dimencia:** you wouldnt dare  
**Flag:** Working on it

 

**[Beer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Beer:** This was a mistake  
**Dimencia:** so i met this girl called jane  
**Flag:** This is why we can’t have nice things  
**Dimencia:** aw come on its a nice story  
**Flag:** kINKSHAMING  
**Dimencia:** bisexual gsp  
**Dimencia:** HWO DAER  
**Flag:** Now I’m grammar shaming  
**Dimencia:** anyway  
**Dimencia:** i met this girl called jane on starbucks and she asked me if i liked scat  
**Dimencia:** i was like ‘well i never tried it before’ so she invited me to her house  
**Flag:** Rule number one of common sense: never follow a strange to their house  
**Flag:** You might end up in a sex dungeon  
**Dimencia:** excuse you  
**Dimencia:** her sex dungeon was really nice okay  
**Flag:** I’ll choose to believe you because I have no other choice  
**Dimencia:** thank u flugbug  
**Dimencia:** anyway  
**Dimencia:** we went to her house and were ready to do it but i tripped on her cat and broke my nose and accidentally brought her along and she broke her arm  
**Dimencia:** there was blood everywhere  
**Dimencia:** she was screaming  
**Dimencia:** i was screaming  
**Dimencia:** the police were called  
**Dimencia:** it was awesome   
**Dimencia:** 10/10 would do again  
**Dimencia:** but ya this is how i found out i dont like scat  
**Flag:**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ>  
**Dimencia:** i feel betrayed  
**Beer:** Did you just

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I torture myself like this


	57. J U S T    M O N I K A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayori: Holy shit 505 is this a Linkin Park song you’re quoting  
> Natsuki: I’m going through my emo phase let me be  
> Sayori: Look at what you did Demencia  
> Yuri: how is this my fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB SPOILERS

**[Flag joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flag:** DEMENCIA WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

 

**[Admin Dimencia joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Dimencia:** what did i do this time  
**Flag:** YOU SAID IT WAS A CUTE GAME  
**Flag:** I’M TRAUMATIZED AS FUCK  
**Dimencia:** doki doki literature club?  
**Flag:** DO NOT SPEAK ITS NAME  
**Flag:** DISGRACE WILL FALL UPON YOU  
**Dimencia:** did u like it  
**Flag:** Are you fucking kidding me  
**Flag:** Fuck this game gently with a chainsaw  
**Dimencia:** kinky i like it  
**Flag:** I can’t believe Sayori fucking died  
**Dimencia:** sayori has been depressed most of her life  
**Dimencia:** but for her friends sake she used a disguise  
**Dimencia:** but once her friend confessed she cried and cried  
**Dimencia:** and then sayori fucking died  
**Flag:** Did you just write a poem about Sayori’s suicide  
**Dimencia:** anything for u bby  
**Flag:** Gross  
**Dimencia:** oh btw  
**Dimencia:** which one would u date  
**Flag:** Natsuki, of fucking course  
**Dimencia:** why tho  
**Flag:** She’s the only one who’s not a complete psychopath  
**Dimencia:** she’s annoying tho  
**Dimencia:** id ttly go for yuri if i were u  
**Flag:** ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME TO GO FOR THE GIRL WHO HAS THE HOTS FOR KNIVES  
**Dimencia:** yes  
**Flag:** And you wonder why you’re single

 

**[Beer joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Beer:** What are you two talking about?  
**Flag:** Doki Doki fucking Literature Club  
**Dimencia:** sounds like a pornos name  
**Dimencia:** i like it  
**Dimencia:** u should still date yuri btw  
**Flag:** Fuck this shit I’m out  
**Flag:** I’ll date her when I’m dead  
**Dimencia:** dont knock it till u tried it bro  
**Flag:** N O P E  
**Flag:** I’m pretty sure she’d shove a knife up her ass if you gave her the chance  
**Dimencia:** kinky~  
**Dimencia:** i mean  
**Dimencia:** she masturbated w ur pen so thats a possibility  
**Flag:** I WAS STARTING TO FORGET ABOUT THAT  
**Dimencia:** what can i say except youre welcome  
**Flag:** Anyway  
**Flag:** Yuri’s bitch crazy for knives  
**Flag:** Sayori’s fucking dead  
**Flag:** Monika’s a huge nope  
**Flag:** The only option left is Natsuki  
**Dimencia:** screw them im dating natsukis cupcakes  
**Flag:** That’s a better option  
**Beer:** I’m kind of scared of this game now and I don’t even know what it’s about  
**Flag:** Good, you should be scared  
**Dimencia:** i love it 10/10 would make four girls die for my love again  
**Flag:** I can’t believe I sold my soul for a cupcake  
**Dimencia:** i sold my soul for a one night stand once  
**Flag:** TMI  
**Dimencia:** wait  
**Dimencia:** didnt natsuki snap her neck bc she wanted u to be her sugar daddy or something  
**Flag:** Yes  
**Flag:** That scared the living shit out of me  
**Flag:** Would not recommend  
**Dimencia:** shes not really gf material  
**Dimencia:** i suggest monika  
**Dimencia:** just monika

 

**[Admin Dimencia changed their name to: Yuri]**   
**[Admin Dimencia changed Flag’s name to: Sayori]**   
**[Admin Dimencia changed Beer’s name to: Natsuki]**   
**[Admin Dimencia changed Black Hag’s name to: Monika]**

**Sayori:** Why am I Sayori?  
**Yuri:** bc ur depressing  
**Sayori:** That’s fair  
**Sayori:** And why are you Yuri?  
**Yuri:** do u rly wanna know  
**Sayori:** It can’t be that bad  
**Yuri:** bc ngl id ttly shove a knife up my ass  
**Sayori:** I stand corrected  
**Yuri:** 505 is cute and his dad is abusive so hes natsuki  
**Natsuki:** Should I be flattered or scared  
**Sayori:** Por que no los dos

 

**[Monika joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Monika:** What the heck is this  
**Monika:** Who the fuck is Monika  
**Monika:** WHO IS WHO  
**Sayori:** I’m Flug, the only person in this chat sensible enough not to shove a knife up my ass  
**Natsuki:** I’m starting to think that every conversation in this chat eventually becomes about Flug’s ass  
**Sayori:** FCUK  
**Yuri:** i support this theory wholeheartedly  
**Monika:** Why is nobody answering my questions  
**Sayori:** Hey, I’m not abusive  
**Yuri:** oh i was talking about bh  
**Monika:** I’m not his dad  
**Natsuki:** WHY DO YOU NOT WANT ME  
**Natsuki:** I’M EMANCIPATING  
**Yuri:** tag urself im ‘it was only partially your fault’  
**Sayori:** I’m “PM died for this”  
**Monika:** I am confused as fuck  
**Sayori:** We’re talking about a dating simulator but every girl is bitch crazy and I’ve never been more glad to be gay  
**Monika:** Interesting, tell me more  
**Sayori:** You know what, I’m dating Sayori  
**Sayori:** If I’m going to date someone, at least they’re going to be relatable  
**Yuri:** boi if sayoris relatable u need a psychologist  
**Sayori:** Yes  
**Yuri:** tbh this is the best anime after boku no pico  
**Sayori:** nO  
**Monika:** HISS  
**Natsuki:** I’VE BECOME SO NUMB  
**Sayori:** Holy shit 505 is this a Linkin Park song you’re quoting  
**Natsuki:** I’m going through my emo phase let me be  
**Sayori:** Look at what you did Demencia  
**Yuri:** how is this my fault  
**Sayori:** I don’t know, I need to blame someone  
**Yuri:** understandable  
**Yuri:** omg  
**Yuri:** do u remember yuris super realistic eyes  
**Sayori:** How could I ever forget  
**Sayori:** I haven’t quite recovered yet  
**Yuri:** boi why do u think they put ‘not suitable for children or those who r easily disturbed’ in the cover  
**Sayori:** Because anime is disturbing  
**Yuri:** i cant argue with that  
**Sayori:** I still remember clicking on the word ‘suicide’ and Sayori jumping happily  
**Yuri:** she needs some milk  
**Natsuki:** WHEN WILL YOU LEARN  
**Natsuki:** WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES  
**Sayori:** Did someone hack 505’s phone holy damn  
**Natsuki:** 505 is no more  
**Natsuki:** I’m Natsuki now  
**Yuri:** watch out bro u might cut urself w that edge  
**Sayori:** What the fuck this happened  
**Natsuki:** Basically the conversation went from a game to your ass to my abusive dad to my emo phase  
**Monika:** I’m not your dad  
**Natsuki:** BABY DON’T HURT ME  
**Sayori:** I’m glad because Black Hat is unfit to be a parent  
**Sayori:** Remember when he kicked 505 across the globe  
**Natsuki:** He what  
**Sayori:** You were too young to remember  
**Sayori:** It was an interesting day  
**Yuri:** @Sayori but hes your daddy ;)  
**Sayori:** I  
**Sayori:** I plead the fifth  
**Monika:** Goddammit Flug  
**Natsuki:** This conversation crashed and burned really fast


	58. February 12... again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki: February 12?  
> Sayori: Oh  
> Sayori: Oh no  
> Yuri: oh yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Index:
> 
> Sayori: Flug  
> Yuri: Demencia  
> Natsuki: 505  
> Monika: Black Hat

**[Admin Yuri joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Yuri:** @everyone

 

**[Sayori joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Natsuki joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Sayori:** Demencia it’s 3 am  
**Sayori:** We all have better things to do that shitpost and hate-flirt with each other  
**Yuri:** theres always time for shitposting you heathen  
**Natsuki:** Just say what you want with us  
**Yuri:** you know what day is today??  
**Sayori:** Monday?  
**Yuri:** no no  
**Yuri:** i mean like the date  
**Natsuki:** February 12?  
**Sayori:** Oh  
**Sayori:** Oh no  
**Yuri:** oh yes  
**Yuri:** and i know what happened  
**Sayori:** Did Black Hat tell you he shapeshifted into a plane to have sex with me?  
**Yuri:** yus  
**Sayori:** Well then  
**Sayori:** He lied  
**Yuri:** excuse me  
**Yuri:** my life is a lie  
**Yuri:** what is existence  
**Natsuki:** I’m afraid to ask, but what truly happened on February 12?  
**Sayori:** I can’t tell  
**Sayori:** Black Hat threatened me into keeping it a secret  
**Natsuki:** Threatened you how?  
**Sayori:** He said he’d send my 100k word long, explicit-rated omegaverse fanfic that I wrote at 16 years of age to my friends and family  
**Sayori:** I deleted it and he knows it word-for-word  
**Sayori:** I wrote it in Japanese  
**Natsuki:** 100k? I’m lowkey impressed  
**Yuri:** holy shit i wanna read that  
**Sayori:** You really don’t  
**Sayori:** Look, just forget about February 12  
**Yuri:** ok  
**Sayori:** Wait, really?  
**Sayori:** You’re just going to forget about it like that?  
**Yuri:** yes  
**Sayori:** I don’t believe you  
**Yuri:** gasp  
**Yuri:** how dare  
**Yuri:** im capable of dealing with things okay

 

**[Admin Yuri left: Homobros Inc]**

**Sayori:** Okay…?  
**Sayori:** I’m glad this is over

 

 

 **[Admin Yuri created: Tell me more plz]**  
**[Admin Yuri added: Sayori]**  
**[Admin Yuri added: Natsuki]**

**Sayori:** Why am I not surprised  
**Yuri:** PLZZZZ  
**Sayori:** Fine, if it’ll make you shut up  
**Sayori:** I’ll send the screenshots  
**Natsuki:** Why me  
**Yuri:** dont u wanna know the juicy details of february 12  
**Natsuki:** no

 

**[Screenshot 1]**

**…**

**Flug:** Sir, are you awake?  
**Black Hat:** I never sleep  
**Black Hat:** I am nightmares  
**Black Hat:** I am the night  
**Flug:** Yes, of course  
**Black Hat:** What do you want  
**Flug:** Um  
**Flug:** It’s about this new client  
**Flug:** He sounds a little unstable…?  
**Black Hat:** It doesn’t matter as long as he buys our products  
**Flug:** Ah, yes  
**Flug:** I just thought you’d like to know  
**Black Hat:** Go back to work  
**Flug:** Yes, sir

**…**

**Natsuki:** This sounds like the Hibiya problem all over again  
**Sayori:** Don’t remind me  
**Sayori:** But we’re only getting started  
**Yuri:** threesome with new client ftw  
**Sayori:** nO

 

**[Screenshot 2]**

**…**

**Flug:** Sir, I’m getting really worried about this new client  
**Flug:** I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep plus caffeine but I think he’s following me  
**Black Hat:** Flug, am I paying you to vent or work?  
**Flug:** Sorry, sir, but I’m getting concerned  
**Black Hat:** Then stop getting fucking concerned and go back to work  
**Flug:** Okay

**…**

**Sayori:** Ah, he was such an asshole back then  
**Natsuki:** You say that as if he’s changed  
**Sayori:** …You got me there  
**Yuri:** honestly his assholeness is kinda hot  
**Sayori:** Neither Black Hat nor Demencia ever change  
**Natsuki:** What happened after that?  
**Sayori:** Said client kidnapped me  
**Sayori:** Locked me in his basement  
**Sayori:** Made me watch Mars of Destruction with him  
**Sayori:** I legit almost died  
**Sayori:** Twice  
**Natsuki:** What is Mars of Destruction?  
**Yuri:** a masterpiece  
**Yuri:** if u havent watched it u havent seen real anime  
**Natsuki:** Are you being sarcastic?  
**Yuri:** the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma  
**Sayori:** So Black Hat rescued me  
**Sayori:** We started to fight  
**Sayori:** Then we had angry sex while Mars of Destruction played in the background  
**Natsuki:** I really could’ve carried on with my day without knowing that  
**Yuri:** nice i approve  
**Yuri:** why doesnt he want u to tell us that tho  
**Sayori:** I think it’s because he was a virgin  
**Sayori:** A very bitter virgin  
**Yuri:** like u werent the same  
**Sayori:** I wasn’t bitter  
**Sayori:** I was just a very tired virgin

 

**[Admin Yuri changed Sayori’s name to: A very tired virgin]**

**A very tired virgin:** I’m not going to protest  
**Yuri:** good  
**Yuri:** but did u like mars of destruction  
**A very tired virgin:** Definitely  
**A very tired virgin:** It pained me to see the green-haired bitch die  
**A very tired virgin:** It hit me hard when the doctor said ‘she’s not going to make it’  
**A very tired virgin:** Without him I wouldn’t have known

 

**[Admin Yuri changed their name to: Green haired bitch]**

**Green haired bitch:** ikr  
**A very tired virgin:** You can’t be stopped  
**Green haired bitch:** im going to celebrate feb 12 every day from now on by sacrificing one virgin to satan  
**A very tired virgin:** Please don’t  
**Green haired bitch:** fine  
**Green haired bitch:** to beelzebub then  
**A very tired virgin:** DEMENCIA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is my life


	59. Gotta catch 'em all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very tired virgin: Flug used Perish Song  
> A very tired virgin: All participants in the chat that heard the song will kill themselves in three turns  
> A very tired virgin: Flug’s perish count fell to 3

**[Natsuki joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Natsuki:** I HATE ULTRA NECROZMA  
**Natsuki:** HOW DO I BEAT THIS THING EVEN  
**Natsuki:** WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE  
**Natsuki:** WHY ARE WE HERE  
**Natsuki:** WHAT IS OUR PURPOSE  
**Natsuki:** WHY ISN’T 11 CALLED ONETY-ONE

 

**[A very tired virgin joined: Homobros Inc]**

**A very tired virgin:** Switch your Zoroark to the front and equip it with a Quick Claw. Ultra Necrozma is a psychic-type and Zoroark is a dark-type, which makes it immune to Photon Geyser   
**A very tired virgin:** Use Foul Play, which will be super effective against it for being a dark-type move against a psychic-type  
**Natsuki:** Oh my god  
**Natsuki:** You’re a life saver  
**A very tired virgin:** It’s ok, I also hate Ultra Necrozma

 

**[Admin Green haired bitch joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Green haired bitch:** WHY ISNT 11 CALLED ONETY ONE  
**A very tired virgin:** Please stop talking  
**Green haired bitch:** hey thats a legit question ok  
**Green haired bitch:** also since when r u a pokemon nerd  
**Green haired bitch:** i honestly just hacked to kill necrozma because fuck that  
**Green haired bitch:** i aint got no time to deal w shit im a busy woman  
**A very tired virgin:** “Busy woman” yes of course  
**Green haired bitch:** stalking black hat counts as a career ok  
**Natsuki:** I didn’t know you played Pokémon  
**Green haired bitch:** he kicks everyones asses in competitive  
**Green haired bitch:** fuck his marshadow with a 10 inch dildo pls  
**A very tired virgin:** Does this count as zoophilia?  
**Natsuki:** I BEAT THE NECROZMA  
**Natsuki:** THANK YOU FLUG I COULD HUG YOU RIGHT NOW  
**Green haired bitch:** how do u play if u dont have fingers  
**Natsuki:** Life finds a way  
**A very tired virgin:** Can I just say bless the Ultra Wormholes because I have like 10 shinies right now  
**Green haired bitch:** my shiny altaria killed itself with perish song im deAD  
**A very tired virgin:** If I was going to be captured by you I’d kill myself too  
**Green haired bitch:** #truth  
**Natsuki:** Are you shiny hunting right now?  
**A very tired virgin:** Yes, I’m doing horde hunting  
**A very tired virgin:** For mareep  
**Natsuki:** Good luck!  
**A very tired virgin:** Thanks, I’ll need it  
**Green haired bitch:** name it beep beep  
**A very tired virgin:** No  
**Green haired bitch:** bitch dont u have a sense of hmuor  
**A very tired virgin:** Don’t you have a spellcheck?  
**Green haired bitch:** touche  
**Green haired bitch:** name it NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP  
**Natsuki:** Did we just get rickrolled?  
**Natsuki:** I’m suing for emotional distress  
**A very tired virgin:** I FOUND IT  
**A very tired virgin:** WEHAT THE FCUKDFH  
**Natsuki:** False alarm?  
**A very tired virgin:** THERES 3 OF THEM HPOLY FCUKINNG SH8T  
**A very tired virgin:** KILLLL ME RIGHT NOOOOOW  
**Green haired bitch:** serves u rite for having the shiny charm lmao  
**A very tired virgin:** FUCK YUO IM CRYING  
**A very tired virgin:** _/SCREAMS OF THE DAMNED FROM THE PITS OF HELL/_

 

**[Monika joined: Homobros Inc]**

 

 **Monika:** WHY IS NOBODY WORKING IN THIS GODDAMN HOUSE  
**A very tired virgin:** SHUT UP BALCK HTA IM HAVING A BITCH FIT RIGHT NOW  
**A very tired virgin:** READ MY NAME  
**A very tired virgin:** RSPECT MY BOUNDARIES IM DIVORCING U  
**Monika:** What the fuck

 

**[Admin Green haired bitch changed Monika’s name to: Balck hta]**

  
**Green haired bitch:** did you guys knw i memorized all of the pokemon from the pokerap in order  
**Natsuki:** Lies  
**A very tired virgin:** I CAN’T BELIEVE IM GOING TO HAVE TO KILL TWO SHINIES  
**A very tired virgin:** RNGESUS WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS  
**Green haired bitch:** electrode diglett nidoran mankey venusaur   
**Green haired bitch:** rattata fearow pidgey seaking jolteon   
**Green haired bitch:** dragonite gastly ponyta vaporeon poliwrath butterfree  
**Green haired bitch** : zubat primeape meowth onix   
**Green haired bitch:** geodude rapidash magneton snorlax gengar   
**Green haired bitch:** tangela goldeen spearow weezing seel gyarados slowbro  
**Natsuki:** Oh god, what have I done  
**A very tired virgin:** Demencia stop it  
**A very tired virgin:** I can relate to your shiny altaria on a spiritual level right now  
**Green haired bitch:** u guys r no fun  
**A very tired virgin:** I have to kill two shinies  
**A very tired virgin:** I haven’t felt this dead inside since I accidentally walked on my cousin having sex with a hot pocket  
**Natsuki:** We sure are learning a lot about your family aren’t we  
**Balck hta:** Can someone tell me what’s happening  
**A very tired virgin:** 505 beat Ultra Necrozma   
**A very tired virgin:** I found 3 shinies in one horde  
**A very tired virgin:** Demencia is singing the pokérap  
**A very tired virgin:** My cousin fucked a hot pocket  
**A very tired virgin:** Does this explanation please you?  
**Balck hta:** Wtf is wrong with your family  
**A very tired virgin:** Everything, including me  
**Green haired bitch:** name ur mareep hot pocket  
**A very tired virgin:** I think the worst part is that I probably will  
**Green haired bitch:** HEY  
**Green haired bitch:** how many memes can we fit in one comment  
**A very tired virgin:** Don’t you dare  
**Natsuki:** Challenge accepted  
**A very tired virgin:** 505 NO  
**Natsuki:** Hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal I don’t mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but I gotta warn ya if you take one more diddly darn step right there im gonna have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn’t that be a crummy juncture huh? Do you want that? Do you wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? Because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if u keep this up then well then well gosh diddly darn I just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy  
**A very tired virgin:** Hwat the fuck  
**A very tired virgin:** Whta  
**A very tired virgin:** Fuck  
**Green haired bitch:** according to all known laws of aviation there is no way a bee should be able to fly its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground the bee of course flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible yellow black yellow black yellow black yellow black ooh black and yellow lets shake it up a little  
**A very tired virgin:** I’m too intelligent for this shit  
**Balck hta:** Something something tide pods  
**Balck hta:** NOW GO BACK TO WORK  
**A very tired virgin:** I want die  
**Green haired bitch:** i bet bh eats tide pods  
**Balck hta:** I do  
**Balck hta:** They’re great snacks  
**A very tired virgin:** Flug used Perish Song  
**A very tired virgin:** All participants in the chat that heard the song will kill themselves in three turns  
**A very tired virgin:** Flug’s perish count fell to 3  
**Green haired bitch:** god im having dem flashbacks  
**Green haired bitch:** altaria come back to me i have hot pockets  
**A very tired virgin:** Flug’s perish count fell to 2  
**Natsuki:** I’ll never be able to eat hot pockets again  
**A very tired virgin:** Flug’s perish count fell to 1  
**Balck hta:** Go back to work, I don’t pay you all to boondoggle and chat  
**A very tired virgin:** Flug’s perish count fell to 0

 

**[A very tired virgin left: Homobros Inc]**

**Green haired bitch:** he ded  
**Natsuki:** I think we broke Flug  
**Natsuki:** Too many memes?  
**Green haired bitch:** heathen theres never too many memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something something tide pods


	60. What is happening even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enoby: i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling to attacked rn  
> Drunk elsa: Sue me  
> Enoby: im calling my lawyer rn  
> Drunk elsa: Reddit’s Legal Advice subreddit is not your lawyer  
> Enoby: unfair

**[A very tired virgin joined: Homobros Inc]**

**A very tired virgin:** I need a hug

 

**[Balck hta joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Balck hta:** I can give you sex  
**A very tired virgin:** …Fine by me

 

**[Natsuki joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Natsuki:** When was the last time we had a decent conversation

 

**[Admin Green haired bitch joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Green haired bitch:** @everyone  
**Green haired bitch:** @everyone  
**Green haired bitch:** @everyone  
**A very tired virgin:** Stop spamming bitch  
**Green haired bitch:** I AINT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YALL  
**Green haired bitch:** UR NEVER GONNA SLEEP CAUSE OF ME  
**Natsuki:** It’s 3 pm  
**Green haired bitch:** shut up im memeing rn  
**A very tired virgin:** My life was a mistake  
**Green haired bitch:** are u having sex while on discord  
**A very tired virgin:** I multitask  
**Balck hta:** We’re not having sex yet  
**Green haired bitch:** yet  
**Balck hta:** Yet  
**Green haired bitch:** yet  
**A very tired virgin:** Shut up  
**Green haired bitch:** and sleep with me  
**Green haired bitch:** cmon why dont u sleep wth me  
**Natsuki:** This escalated quickly  
**Green haired bitch:** 3some w bh and flug ftw  
**Green haired bitch:** i can finally put my plane cosplay to use  
**A very tired virgin:** I don’t have a plane kink  
**Balck hta:** Anymore  
**A very tired virgin:** SHUSH  
**Green haired bitch:** im playing furry gang in the background  
**A very tired virgin:** You’re playing what  
**Green haired bitch:**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk_sDvQ97Vs>  
**Natsuki:** I weep for humanity  
**A very tired virgin:** Play this during my funeral please  
**Green haired bitch:** yes i promise  
**Natsuki:** Am I the only sane one left?  
**Green haired bitch:** join us in the dark side we have hot pockets  
**A very tired virgin:** Run and never look back  
**Natsuki:** Living in this house and joining this chat has left serious psychological effects that affect my mental health  
**Green haired bitch:** u know how to cure that  
**Green haired bitch:** hot pockets  
**A very tired virgin:** I regret having told you about my cousin having sex with hot pockets  
**Green haired bitch:** yeah sure “ur cousin”  
**A very tired virgin:** I will fight you  
**Green haired bitch:** bitch u look like elsa if she had a mental breakdown  
**A very tired virgin:** I want to reply but you described me perfectly  
**A very tired virgin:** I’m going to change my Tinder profile real quick  
**Balck hta:** I am not paying any of you this month  
**Green haired bitch:** its ok ill always have my hot pockets  
**A very tired virgin:** Black Hat, just…  
**A very tired virgin:** …Let it go  
**Balck hta:** I want a divorce  
**A very tired virgin:** You’re paying child support  
**Balck hta:** Wtf, what child am I supporting  
**A very tired virgin:** Me  
**Green haired bitch:** and here i thought incest only happened in anime  
**Natsuki:** Demencia, no  
**Balck hta:** I’m kicking you all out  
**Green haired bitch:** but its raining D:  
**A very tired virgin:** I don’t mind  
**A very tired virgin:** The cold never bothered me anyway

 

**[Admin Green haired bitch changed A very tired virgin’s name to: Drunk elsa]**

**Drunk elsa:** I’ve been reborn  
**Balck hta:** I didn’t sign up for this  
**Green haired bitch:** can i show u guys my olaf x sven fanfic  
**Natsuki:** No thanks I’m in a good mood today  
**Balck hta:** @Drunk elsa If you say anything, you’d better remember I still have your omegaverse fanfiction memorized  
**Balck hta:** Word for word  
**Balck hta:** Especially the part where you refer to the penis as ‘love sausage’  
**Drunk elsa:** Post it  
**Balck hta:** Are you fucking serious?  
**Drunk elsa:** If I’m going to die of shame then I’ll die as a meme  
**Drunk elsa:** Like Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way

 

**[Admin Green haired bitch changed their name to: Enoby]**

**Drunk elsa:  
Natsuki: ** This is basically this chat in a nutshell  
**Natsuki:** But she deserves more stars  
**Natsuki:  
Balck hta:   
Natsuki:    
Drunk elsa: **  
**Enoby:** i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling to attacked rn  
**Drunk elsa:** Sue me  
**Enoby:** im calling my lawyer rn  
**Drunk elsa:** Reddit’s Legal Advice subreddit is not your lawyer  
**Enoby:** unfair  
**Natsuki:** Demencia has a Reddit account?  
**Natsuki:** Explains a lot actually  
**Enoby:** where do you think i get all of my memes  
**Drunk elsa:** You know what fuck all of you I’m going to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Oh Mahkachan you're up early!"  
> Jokes on you I never slept.


	61. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balck hta: Why are you two complaining about free alcohol?  
> Drunk elsa: NO  
> Drunk elsa: I mean vaccinations  
> Balck hta: Who the fuck needs those nowadays

**[Drunk elsa joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Drunk elsa:** 505 WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

 

**[Natsuki joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Natsuki:** HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL  
**Drunk elsa:** You know it needs to be done  
**Drunk elsa:** The quicker you do it, the better

 

**[Balck hta joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Balck hta:** He’s hiding in the closet  
**Drunk elsa:** Thank you love  
**Natsuki:** W H Y  
**Balck hta:** I see everything

 

**[Admin Enoby joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Enoby:** how do u even fit in a closet  
**Natsuki:** That’s rude  
**Enoby:** bitch idgaf  
**Enoby:** so whats happenin  
**Drunk elsa:** It’s Saturday  
**Enoby:** yeah bye  
**Drunk elsa:** DON’T YOU DARE  
**Balck hta:** Care to explain?  
**Drunk elsa:** 505, Demencia and I are getting shots  
**Enoby:** SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTS  
**Balck hta:** Why are you two complaining about free alcohol?  
**Drunk elsa:** NO  
**Drunk elsa:** I mean vaccinations  
**Balck hta:** Who the fuck needs those nowadays  
**Drunk elsa:** Literally everyone who doesn’t want polio  
**Enoby:** what if i _want_ polio  
**Enoby:** what then  
**Enoby:** am i going to be discriminated for my fetishes  
**Drunk elsa:** Don’t you even start  
**Drunk elsa:** And if you give me articles about how the yellow fever vaccine paralyzed one child in 1786 I will shove the needle up your ass  
**Balck hta:** …You got my interest  
**Drunk elsa:** Oh god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy guess who's getting vaccinated this weekend


	62. All hope is lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki: All hope is lost for humanity  
> Drunk elsa: This chat has gone to shit  
> Enoby: wow way to have faith guys

**Enoby:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLwYwWlFaVA>

 

**[Drunk elsa joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Natsuki joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Natsuki:** All hope is lost for humanity  
**Drunk elsa:** This chat has gone to shit  
**Enoby:** wow way to have faith guys  
**Drunk elsa:** I’ve seen this video before  
**Enoby:** rlly  
**Natsuki:** Really?  
**Drunk elsa:** Yep  
**Drunk elsa:** Nothing more exciting than being tortured to death  
**Drunk elsa:** Gives me an orgasm every time

 

**[Balck hta joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Balck hta:** You only tell me that _now_?  
**Drunk elsa:** Sarcasm bitch  
**Enoby:** shh i wanna see were this goes  
**Drunk elsa:** You’re going to die alone  
**Enoby:** ive kidnapped a few corpses  
**Enoby:** seems like the chairs have turned huh  
**Natsuki:** That’s not how you—  
**Drunk elsa:** I’m too smart for this shit  
**Natsuki:** I’m too pure for this shit  
**Balck hta:** I’m too powerful for this shit  
**Enoby:** i have no redeeming qualities but im also tired of this shit  
**Natsuki:** We can all agree with that  
**Natsuki:** What the heck, this song is crazy  
**Natsuki:** “Killing people makes me wet”  
**Natsuki:** Um, not something you hear every day  
**Drunk elsa:** And you thought Vocaloid didn’t have a dark side  
**Natsuki:** I want to remain pure  
**Enoby:** we should make a purity ball for 505  
**Natsuki:** No  
**Drunk elsa:** Why  
**Enoby:** its mostly an excuse to eat cake until i die  
**Drunk elsa:** Time to do a purity ball  
**Natsuki:** W hy  
**Drunk elsa:** Read Dem’s last three words  
**Natsuki:** WHERE’S MY SPOON  
**Enoby:** nothing brings people together like the death of an enemy they hav in common ;w; im proud


	63. Flug's ass: the trilogy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki: Are we still talking about Flug’s ass?  
> Drunk elsa: Unfortunately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to Roboticfennec for this amazing idea

**Enoby:** hey flug  
**Enoby:** how do u have such a gr8 ass  
**Enoby:** when ur so skinny  
**Enoby:** did you do an assjob

 

**[Drunk elsa joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Drunk elsa:** What the fuck is an “assjob”  
**Enoby:** u know  
**Enoby:** nosejob, boobjob, assjob  
**Drunk elsa:**...  
**Enoby:** plssss  
**Drunk elsa:** Look, I do squats sometimes  
**Enoby:** I KNEW IT  
**Enoby:** do u go to the gym  
**Drunk elsa:** …Yes  
**Drunk elsa:** How do you think I keep my slender figure?  
**Enoby:** idk   
**Enoby:** genetics and caffeine  
**Drunk elsa:** Fair enough

 

**[Natsuki joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Natsuki:** Are we still talking about Flug’s ass?  
**Drunk elsa:** Unfortunately  
**Enoby:** am i on santas naughty list yet  
**Drunk elsa:** Definitely  
**Natsuki:** Since you were born  
**Drunk elsa:** Can confirm, am Santa  
**Natsuki:** Can also confirm, am the naughty list  
**Enoby:** u guys suc  
**Enoby:** also we should go to the gym together  
**Drunk elsa:** So you can make fun of the fat people?  
**Enoby:** yes  
**Drunk elsa:** No  
**Enoby:** :(  
**Enoby:** yall are no fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm depression


	64. March 2nd > February 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enoby: do u remember  
> Enoby: march 2nd  
> Drunk elsa: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT  
> Enoby: squints  
> Enoby: thats sus bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what day is tomorrow~

**[Admin Enoby joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Enoby:** hey flug

 

**[Drunk elsa joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Drunk elsa:** What?  
**Enoby:** wheeze  
**Enoby:** do u remember  
**Enoby:** march 2nd  
**Drunk elsa:** I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT  
**Enoby:** squints  
**Enoby:** thats sus bro

 

**[Natsuki joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Natsuki:** What’s with this chat’s obsession with dates?  
**Natsuki:** First February 12, and now March 2nd?  
**Enoby:** its our superpower  
**Natsuki:** Not a good one  
**Natsuki:** What happened on March 2nd?  
**Drunk elsa:** DO  
**Drunk elsa:** NOT  
**Enoby:** we like to call it the sex shop incident  
**Natsuki:** I’m out  
**Enoby:** ur gonna miss out on the fun  
**Drunk elsa:** I’m going to kill you  
**Enoby:** there we were  
**Drunk elsa:** DON’T YOU DARE  
**Enoby:** shopping for some toys  
**Drunk elsa:** DEMENCIA  
**Enoby:** and then flug slips on some lube on the floor  
**Drunk elsa:** I’M WARNING YOU  
**Enoby:** and he hits a shelf  
**Drunk elsa:** THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING  
**Enoby:** and he  
**Enoby:** wheeze  
**Enoby:** and an anal bead falls on his face  
**Enoby:** and he SWALLOWS IT  
**Drunk elsa:** I HAD TO PAY FOR IT  
**Enoby:** at leats it came out 3 days later  
**Natsuki:** I  
**Natsuki:** I’m traumatized  
**Enoby:** this is like the opposite of what ur supposed to do w an anal bead

 

**[Balck hta joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Drunk elsa:** DON’T SCROLL UP  
**Balck hta:** Try me, bitch  
**Balck hta:** …….  
**Balck hta:** Why did you never tell me this?  
**Drunk elsa:** Because I don’t want to waltz up to my boss and say “hey, I swallowed an anal bead, how’s your day going?”  
**Balck hta:** Fair enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have cavities and I must scream


	65. CAN YOU HEAR

**Drunk elsa:** I swear to god that if they show Chris’s ass one more time I’m going to shove a knife up my ass  
**Enoby:** u said u were the only person in this chat who wouldnt do that  
**Drunk elsa:** I L I E  
**Enoby:** my life is a lie  
**Natsuki:** CAN YOU HEAR  
**Enoby:** my heartbeat  
**Natsuki:** No, no, you have to do it on Capslock  
**Natsuki:** Otherwise you sound unmotivated  
**Enoby:** what if i am unmotivated  
**Drunk elsa:** mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before I die lmao


	66. Fuck bidoof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk elsa: I hope you’re proud of yourself for that lame pun  
> Enoby: ttly  
> Natsuki: I’d like to forget this conversation ever happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help me I'm on a shiny badge quest and I cannot quit

**Drunk elsa:** Fuck bidoof  
**Enoby:** can i get some condoms first  
**Drunk elsa:** This was a mistake  
**Natsuki:** What happened?  
**Drunk elsa:** I just found my fifth shiny bidoof  
**Drunk elsa:** I just want a goddamn shinx  
**Enoby:** holy shinx  
**Drunk elsa:** I hope you’re proud of yourself for that lame pun  
**Enoby:** ttly  
**Natsuki:** I’d like to forget this conversation ever happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever I talk about pokémon all I can talk about is shinies
> 
> I also wanted to say that I deleted my Discord account and I might make a new one eventually, but I really wanted to quit because of my mental health


	67. Lemme smash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assok: What is going on  
> Hero: lemme smash  
> Assok: Not good  
> RGB: Demencia found a new obsession

**[Admin Enoby changed their name to: Hero]**  
**[Admin Hero changed Drunk elsa’s name to: RGB]**  
 **[Admin Hero changed Natsuki’s name to: Assok]**  
 **[Admin Hero changed Balck hta’s name to: Magnus]**  
 **[RGB joined: Homobros Inc]**

**RGB:** This is going to get confusing really fast  
**Hero:** fuck the police  
**RGB:** What  
**Hero:** i dont follow the rules  
**Hero:** im fear  
**Hero:** im the night  
**RGB:** You’re 5’5 with pink hair  
**Hero:** shut up

 

**[Magnus joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Magnus:** The fuck is this  
**Hero:** tpoh  
**RGB:** Typo?  
**Hero:** bitch no  
**Hero:** tpoh  
**Hero:** the property of hate  
**RGB:** What is this even about  
**Hero:** BOI  
**Hero:** basically theres this tv guy who became a dad and he really shouldnt be within 5 feet of any child ever  
**Magnus:** How familiar  
**Hero:** what r u implying  
**Hero:** that i wouldn’t make a good tv dad  
**Hero:** is that what ur implying  
**Hero:** ill have u know im the best tv dad  
**Magnus:** I’m not going to waste my time arguing with you

 

**[Assok joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Assok:** What is going on  
**Hero:** lemme smash  
**Assok:** Not good  
**RGB:** Demencia found a new obsession  
**Magnus:** And it isn’t me (thankfully)  
**Hero:** HOW DO U GUYS NOT KNOW ABOUT TPOH  
**Hero:** i have so much to teach u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to put an index so nobody gets confused lmao


	68. Are we done yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hero: wrong server  
> RGB: What kind of friendships do you have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hero: Demencia (obviously)  
> RGB: Flug

**Hero:** ive shoved an ice cube up my vagina once  
**Hero:** it was an enlightening experience  
**RGB:** Thank you for the info, Dem  
**Hero:** wrong server  
**RGB:** What kind of friendships do you have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucket list:
> 
> \- finish Streak of luck  
> \- shove an ice cube up my vagina  
> \- change this fanfic's rating to M


	69. The cockroach saga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hero: the cockroach saga is back  
> Hero: hooray  
> Assok: What’s the cockroach saga?  
> RGB: DON’T  
> Hero: once upon a time flug freaked out over a cockroach in his lab  
> RGB: I feel attacked

**RGB:** AHDUHDA\FHB  
**Hero:** #isflugok2018  
**RGB:** THERES A MOTH IN MY FUCKING LAB  
**Hero:** the cockroach saga is back  
**Hero:** hooray  
**Assok:** What’s the cockroach saga?  
**RGB:** DON’T  
**Hero:** once upon a time flug freaked out over a cockroach in his lab  
**RGB:** I feel attacked  
**Hero:** where r u rn  
**RGB:** I’m hiding in the bathroom  
**RGB:** This is the moth’s lab now  
**Assok:** This is… dramatic  
**RGB:** You don’t understand  
**RGB:** It’s a _moth_  
**RGB:** Nature’s snakes  
**Assok:** Aren’t snakes nature’s snakes?  
**Hero:** r u two quoting penguins of madagascar  
**RGB:** This is irrelevant  
**RGB:** The main issue right now is that I’M GOING TO DIE  
**Magnus:** Stfu you’re not going to die  
**Magnus:** I forbid you  
**RGB:** How do you forbid me  
**Magnus:** Don’t question me  
**RGB:** I’M GOING OUT  
**RGB:** I’M OUT  
**Hero:** let me get popcorn this is hilarious  
**RGB:** THE MOTH HAS NOT BEEN SPOTTED  
**Assok:** This is a great saga  
**RGB:** WHERE IS IT  
**RGB:** I KNOW IT’S HERE  
**RGB:** WATCHING  
**RGB:** WAITING  
**RGB:** TO KILL ME  
**Magnus:** Fine, I’ll go there  
**RGB:** THANK YOU  
**Magnus:** If you don’t shut up I’ll shove this moth up your ass  
**RGB:** You can shove it wherever you want as long as you get rid of it  
**Hero:** lmao history repeats itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they never found the moth again. The end.
> 
> If y'all wanna add me on Discord again: Mahkachan#9430


	70. Ok but think about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hero: what would u do if u were a broom  
> RGB: What  
> Assok: What

**Hero:** what would u do if u were a broom  
**RGB:** What  
**Assok:** What  
**Hero:** WHAT WOULD U DO IF U WERE A BROOM  
**RGB:** What kind of question is that?  
**Assok:** I’d probably do nothing because that’s what brooms do  
**RGB:** Ditto  
**Hero:** wow yall are no fun huh  
**Hero:** id shove myself up someones ass  
**RGB:** Aaaaaaaaaand that’s enough Discord for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I've returned after a suicide attempt and I feel miserable


	71. Villainous against humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assok: Does anyone want to play CAH?  
> RGB: Anything to distract myself from my physical and psychological suffering

**Hero:** yall know what day it is today  
**RGB:** What?  
**Assok:** What  
**Hero:** ITS SHARE YOUR SEXUAL EXPERIENCES DAY  
**RGB:** Blocked  
**Hero:** virgin  
**RGB:** At least I didn’t have sex with Robert  
**Hero:** but youve dreamed about it ;)  
**RGB:** No  
**Assok:** Does anyone want to play CAH?  
**RGB:** Anything to distract myself from my physical and psychological suffering  
**Hero:** MEMEMEME  
**Assok:** Calm down  
**Hero:** bitch  
**Hero:** never tell a half lizard to calm down  
**Assok:** Ok…?  
**RGB:** FIRST CARD PLEASE  
**Hero:** omg i have the perfect card  
**RGB:** Is everyone ready?  
**Assok:** I’m the Czar  
**Hero:** oml i sure love incest for breakfast  
**RGB:** You don’t even have a family  
**Hero:** yall are my family  
**RGB:** No we’re not  
**Assok:** Cruel  
**Hero:** y u do this 2 me daddy  
**RGB:** Call me daddy one more time and I’ll disown you  
**Hero:** i thought we werent family daddy  
**RGB:** Well, you’re officially disowned, so now we really aren’t  
**Hero:** but daddy  
**Assok:** UM NEXT ROUND  
**RGB:** Thank you, 5.0.5  
**Hero:** ha bitches im the czar  
**Hero:** show me the best tv show  
**RGB:** I chose mine  
**Assok:** So did I  
**Hero:** TWO MIDGETS SHITTING IN A BUCKET  
**Hero:** hell id watch that  
**RGB:** Wow how unexpected of you  
**Hero:** daddy dont hurt my feelies  
**RGB:** I hate this fucking family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't remember having written this tomorrow


	72. Shh bby is ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hero: fuck this job  
> Hero: im gonna follow my dream  
> Hero: n become a prostitute

**[Admin Hero joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Hero:** fuck this job  
**Hero:** im gonna follow my dream  
**Hero:** n become a prostitute

 

**[RGB joined: Homobros Inc]**

**RGB:** You don’t even do anything  
**Hero:** and since we know that dreams r dead  
**RGB:** Demencia…  
**Hero:** and life turns plans up on their heads  
**Hero:** i will plan to be a bum  
**Hero:** so i just might become someone  
**RGB:** I’m blocking you

 

**[Assok joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Assok:** Hey gang  
**Hero:** im gonna become a prostitute 505  
**Assok:** Bye gang

 

**[Assok left: Homobros Inc]**

**Hero:** so flug  
**Hero:** r u interested in joining me  
**Hero:** well become rich

 

**[Magnus joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Magnus:** Flug belongs to me, bitch  
**Hero:** wow selfish  
**Magnus:** Is there a problem with that?  
**Hero:** um yes?  
**Hero:** a hell lotsa ppl would pay 2 have sex with flug w the condition that they wear a plane cosplay  
**RGB:** With what condition  
**Hero:** i know ur fetish flug  
**RGB:**??????????????  
**Hero:** shh bby is ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/3uo475/something_incredible_yet_rather_bizarre_has_just/
> 
> And, because I can, a sneak peek from Streak of luck:
> 
> \---------------------------
> 
> “Ah, you’re not getting bored, are you?” Sjena suddenly questioned. “I would hate for you to miss out on the fun!”
> 
> “F-fuck you!” he accidentally let out, and the realization made his stomach swirl. Oh, so he still could talk. That was nice.   
> Sjena snickered, as if he had been expecting this. Perhaps he had, but Flug would never know. “I guess I didn’t order the omega to stay quiet, now did I?” he asked to no one in particular. Maybe he asked himself. “Well, that should be interesting… Tell me: who do you belong to?” Was he being serious right now? He couldn’t be serious. This had to be a very bad joke and they both should be laughing at it. But judging by his stare and his stance, Flug figured he was being completely serious. Was he planning on making him admit he belonged to him like a mere toy he could discard whenever he wanted? Was this his big plan? Sjena did say he wanted to claim him, after all, but decided to leave it for later. For now, he was enjoying to toy with his newfound prey. And that sucked, because Flug did not want anyone to play with his life and freedom. Any threat to those two would not be accepted.
> 
> “No one,” he answered. “I belong to no one.”


	73. Hypomania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assok: What’s happening  
> RGB: Hypomania

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INDEX
> 
> Hero: Demencia  
> RGB: Flug  
> Assok: 505  
> Magnus: Black Hat

**Hero:** 3 FUCKING AM BITCHES  
**RGB:** You haven’t slept in three days  
**Hero:** and i dyed my pubes blue  
**RGB:** You what  
**Assok:** What’s happening  
**RGB:** Hypomania  
**RGB:** Just go back to sleep, I’ll deal with this  
**Hero:** ahahaha bithces im gonna open a strip club  
**Hero:** flug ur gonna b the main attraction  
**RGB:** No way in hell  
**Magnus:** Go to fucking sleep  
**Magnus:** All of you  
**Hero:** make me bitch  
**Assok:** Rip…  
**Hero:** I AINT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YALL  
**Hero:** UR NOT GONNA GET SLEEP CAUSE OF ME  
**Magnus:** What the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Demencia is bipolar
> 
> Also sorry if this chapter isn't funny it's more of a vent than anything


	74. Alan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alan: WHAT IN THE SWEET NAME OF EVERLOVING FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE  
> Alan: Oh, hi honey  
> Alan: u arrived just in time for the orgy  
> Alan: THE WHAT

**[Hero changed their name to: Alan]**  
**[Alan changed RGB’s name to: Alan]**  
 **[Alan changed Assok’s name to: Alan]**  
 **[Alan changed Magnus’s name to: Alan]**  
 **[Alan joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alan:** Hwat the fuk  
**Alan:** hi bby  
**Alan:** Who are you  
**Alan:** Actually nevermind  
**Alan:** i dyed my pubes blue  
**Alan:** Yup  
**Alan:** Where the fuck is Black Hat

 

**[Alan joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alan:** Guys???  
**Alan:** n u r  
**Alan:** I’m 5.0.5  
**Alan:** Welcome to hell, enjoy your stay  
**Alan:** What’s happening  
**Alan:** Demencia’s being a smartass again  
**Alan:** demencias the most talented member of this ogranization  
**Alan:** Nice try, Demencia  
**Alan:** how did u know it was me  
**Alan:** 1) “demencias”  
**Alan:** 2) “ogranization”  
**Alan:** is that not how u spell it???  
**Alan:** have i been spelling it wrong my whole life  
**Alan:** What a surprise  
**Alan:** shut up flug  
**Alan:** I’m 5.0.5  
**Alan:** Ha  
**Alan:** did u just ‘ha’ me  
**Alan:** No, Flug did  
**Alan:** Did not  
**Alan:**???

 

**[Alan joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alan:** WHAT IN THE SWEET NAME OF EVERLOVING FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE  
**Alan:** Oh, hi honey  
**Alan:** u arrived just in time for the orgy  
**Alan:** THE WHAT  
**Alan:** Um, ignore her  
**Alan:** WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU  
**Alan:** Flug  
**Alan:** I don’t say “um”  
**Alan:** I remember many occasions in which you said “um”  
**Alan:** Um like when  
**Alan:** Right now  
**Alan:** THAT WASN’T ME  
**Alan:** ha gotcha bitch  
**Alan:** how does it feel to be bamboozled  
**Alan:** …You got me there  
**Alan:** Fuck this

 

**[Alan left: Homobros Inc]**

**Alan:** Black Hat just rage quit  
**Alan:** No surprises there, I’m also on the verge of doing it  
**Alan:** shut up i know u all love me  
**Alan:** Nope  
**Alan:** Not even close  
**Alan:** Never in my entire life  
**Alan:** I’m gay  
**Alan:** >:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Villainous Discord is to blame


	75. Screambot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alan: what is this  
> Alan: I created a robot that screams when I’m upset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters
> 
> Alan: Demencia  
> Alan: Flug

**[Alan added Screambot to: Homobros Inc]**

**Screambot:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**[Alan joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Alan:** what is this  
**Screambot:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
**Alan:** i mean lmao but  
**Screambot:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
**Alan:** what is this  
**Alan:** I created a robot that screams when I’m upset  
**Screambot:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
**Alan:** its still screaming  
**Alan:** is it broken  
**Alan:  
Alan: ** Nope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I entered into a depressive episode and I needed to do this


	76. Flug: the group therapist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: This isn’t you, Dem  
> Flu: And besides…  
> Dem: pls dont tell me normal is overated because i hate this quote  
> Dem: along with ‘im a little bipolar sometimes’  
> Dem: fuck off  
> Flu: Alright, I won’t use cliché quotes, just try to calm down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is funny and sad at the same time

**[Alan changed their name to: Dem]**  
**[Dem changed Alan’s name to: Flu]**  
 **[Dem changed Alan’s name to: Bea]**  
 **[Dem changed Alan’s name to: Bla]**

**Dem:** i dont get it  
**Dem:** I DONT GET IT  
**Dem:** I DONT WANT THIS ANYMORE  
**Dem:** TAKE IT AWAY  
**Bla:** What the fuck is happening  
**Bea:** I’m getting kind of scared  
**Bea:** Demencia doesn’t act like this  
**Flu:** I’ll take it from here  
**Flu:** Dem? Are you still there?  
**Dem:** i wanna be hypomanic again  
**Flu:** I know you do, but please breathe?  
**Flu:** For me?  
**Dem:**...  
**Flu:** Alright, how do you feel?  
**Dem:** sad  
**Dem:** empty  
**Dem:** ugly  
**Dem:** not myself  
**Flu:** Did you take the lithium pill you were supposed to?  
**Dem:** we ran out  
**Flu:** Crap  
**Flu:** I’ll buy more  
**Dem:** NO  
**Dem:** dont leave me  
**Flu:** Alright, I’ll ask for the pharmacy to deliver a new box for us, ok?  
**Flu:** Just breathe  
**Dem:** oh look a meme about me  
**Dem:**  
**Flu:** This isn’t you, Dem  
**Flu:** And besides…  
**Dem:** pls dont tell me normal is overated because i hate this quote  
**Dem:** along with ‘im a little bipolar sometimes’  
**Dem:** fuck off  
**Flu:** Alright, I won’t use cliché quotes, just try to calm down  
**Flu:** Tell me, what do you like?  
**Dem:** bhs ass  
**Bea:** That was quick  
**Bla:** Don’t try to be smart, lizard person  
**Flu:** I’m serious  
**Dem:** im sorry  
**Dem:** i fucking fucked up  
**Dem:** this is all i fucking do  
**Flu:** No, you didn’t fuck up  
**Flu:** Other than my husband’s ass, what else do you like?  
**Dem:** lizards  
**Dem:** and heavy metal  
**Flu:** try to listen to some heavy metal ok?  
**Flu:** And have something to cheer you up  
**Flu:**  
**Dem:** snrk  
**Dem:** i feel a little better  
**Dem:** thank u flugbug  
**Flu:** You’re welcome Dem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a vent chapter.


	77. ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: What the fuck is a cumbox  
> Bla: Cum + box  
> Bla: Do you understand where I’m going with this

**Dem:** can we just talk about flugs ass for a second  
**Flu:** No  
**Bea:** Yes  
**Bla:** Yes  
**Flu:** What the fuck y’all  
**Dem:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.  
**Flu:** What the fuck  
**Bea:** To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid  
**Bla:** Prepare your eyes, bitches  
**Bla:** I’m sending the cumbox  
**Dem:** fuck no  
**Bea:** I’m out  
**Flu:** What the fuck is a cumbox  
**Bla:** Cum + box  
**Bla:** Do you understand where I’m going with this  
**Flu:** Yes but I really wish I didn’t  
**Dem:** what about the jolly rancher  
**Bea:** Swamps of Dagobah  
**Bla:** Broken Arms  
**Dem:** woody harrelson ama  
**Bea:** Can we focus on Rampart pls  
**Dem:** kevin  
**Bla:** I had almost forgotten about that little shit **  
Dem:** THE NARWHAL BACONS AT MIDNIGHT  
**Bla:** Can’t forget that one  
**Flu:** I’ve never been so confused in my entire life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which non-redditors will be confused af


	78. Summoning Santa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea: You can’t leave now  
> Bea: When you’re in the game, you can’t leave the game  
> Bla: What game  
> Dem: were summoning santa  
> Bla: You mean Satan  
> Dem: haha  
> Dem: no

**Bea:** HEWWO???  
**Dem:** Ha, gay  
**Bla:** Wtf is happening  
**Flu:** Is this the orgy  
**Dem:** yes mah dude  
**Bla:**?????  
**Dem:** BLACK HAT ORGANIZATION MORE LIKE ORGYNIZATION LMAO  
**Dem:** I BROUGHT MY CRUCIFIX DILDO  
**Flu:** I BROUGHT THE NAILS  
**Bea:** I BROUGHT THE CIRCLETINE  
**Flu:** Circletiiiiiiiiiiiineeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
**Dem:** MIX IT TOGETHR KIDS  
**Bea:** *Yeets into the void*  
**Dem:** i am officially the group mom  
**Flu:** I’m the group nerd  
**Bea:** I’m the group mascot  
**Dem:** i read this as masochist  
**Flu:** Dem you’re a very shitty parent  
**Dem:** ikr im trashy af  
**Bea:** Dem is more like the group’s vodka aunt  
**Bla:** I am leaving  
**Dem:** hi leaving  
**Flu:** More like bye leaving  
**Dem:** binch  
**Bea:** You can’t leave now  
**Bea:** When you’re in the game, you can’t leave the game  
**Bla:** What game  
**Dem:** were summoning santa  
**Bla:** You mean Satan  
**Dem:** haha  
**Dem:** no  
**Flu:** He gave Demencia coal last year and now she’s pissed  
**Flu:** Also we’re all mildly stoned except for 5.0.5  
**Flu:** he’s drunk on chocolate milk  
**Bea:** Wazzup  
**Dem:** im drunk on regrets  
**Flu:** Big mood  
**Bea:** Bood  
**Dem:** okay so heres the plan  
**Dem:** 1) summon santa  
**Dem:** 2) shove coal up his ass  
**Dem:** 3) ????  
**Dem:** 4) profit  
**Bea:** I don’t see what could go wrong  
**Flu:** I know right  
**Bla:** I am surrounded by idiots  
**Flu:** Don’t you just love when your bae quotes The Lion King unironically  
**Dem:** gives me a boner every tiem  
**Bla:** What the fuck is wrong with you people  
**Flu:** I joke a lot to hide my insecurities and pretend that I’m a socially, physically, and mentally stable person when I am not  
**Dem:** im bisexualpolar type sexy  
**Bea:** I’m… me, I guess  
**Bla:** Why am I even here anymore  
**Flu:** I’m also interested as heck  
**Flu:** Like  
**Flu:** How does that motherfucker deliver presents all over the world in one night  
**Flu:** What kind of witchcraft is that  
**Dem:** wha if there r actually thousands of santas and they each deliver presents in different parts of the world  
**Bea:** What if Santa can actually divide himself into multiple tiny versions of himself and then reassemble when he’s done  
**Dem:** what if sants is omnipresent  
**Dem:** what if hes e v e r y w h e r e  
**Dem:** watching  
**Dem:** waiting  
**Flu:** I need to study this  
**Bea:** Did you guys know that in certain parts of the world he’s called Father Christmas  
**Flu:** fAtHeR cHrIsTmAs  
**Dem:** daddy  
**Bla:** What the fuck  
**Bea:** papi x-mas  
**Dem:** PAPITO PAPITO DAME TU ALMA  
**Flu:** PAPAOUTAI  
**Dem:** ITS TIME TO SHOVE COAL UP DADDYS ASS HES BEEN TOO NAUGHTY  
**Bea:** Now this is a quote I never expected to see in my lifetime  
**Flu:** Sounds like a bad porno title for a weird fetish, to be honest  
**Flu:** The worst part is that I’d watch it  
**Dem:** same  
**Flu:** Maybe it’ll erase Boku no Pico from my mind  
**Dem:** nah dude boku no pico stays forever  
**Bea:** Rip  
**Dem:** okay how do we start this fucking ritual  
**Flu:** Shove a candle up your ass  
**Dem:** will do  
**Flu:** NO--  
**Bea:** WAIT WAIT WAIT  
**Bea:** What if we’re all Santa  
**Flu:** What  
**Bea:** I was thinking about the Lion King thing  
**Bea:** And there’s a song that goes  
**Bea:** ‘He lives in you, he lives in me, he watches over’  
**Bea:** WHAT IF SANTA CREATED THE LION KING TO MAKE US REALIZE HE IS ACTUALLY US TOO  
**Dem:** im on board w this theory  
**Bla:** _THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE_  
**Dem:** what if bh is a spy for santa  
**Bea:** Yeah, he seems awfully suspicious  
**Bla:** I AM YOUR FATHER HOW DARE YOU  
**Bea:** I can’t believe my dad is Santa’s spy  
**Flu:** And the prequel, I can’t believe my husband is Santa’s spy  
**Dem:** and the animated series, i cant believe the guy i masturbate to is santas spy  
**Flu:** T  
**Bea:** M  
**Bla:** I  
**Dem:** timmy?  
**Flu:** NO  
**Dem:** MAKE IT REAL LOUD  
**Dem:** PUT UR HANDS UP MAKE EM TOUCH TOUCH  
**Bea:** I thought this was going in another direction  
**Flu:** I’m glad it didn’t  
**Dem:** wOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk ok


	79. Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: Black Hat that’s gay

**Bla:** @everyone I would like to announce that I’m gay for @Flu, thank you for listening  
**Dem:** its 3 am  
**Bea:** Aww  
**Flu:** Black Hat that’s gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JASPER GO TO SLEEP


	80. I'll leave this open for interpretation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: Demencia explain this  
> Flu: Demencia  
> Flu: DEMENCIA

**Dem:** and thats how i ended up being the star of how to catch a predator 4 a day  
**Flu:** What??  
**Dem:** crap wrong server again  
**Dem:** see ya next time buddy  
**Flu:** Demencia explain this  
**Flu:** Demencia  
**Flu:** DEMENCIA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't answer your comments I'm having some depression


	81. #REVIVETHECHAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: Let it die  
> Dem: cant hold it back anymooooore  
> Bla: I hate my life  
> Dem: SEE  
> Dem: DOES IT HURT TO TALK TO ME  
> Flu: I’ve been stabbed  
> Bla: Call an ambulance  
> Dem: wOw RuDe

**[Dem joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Dem:** first of all  
**Dem:** FUCK YOU  
**Dem:** this chats been dead for three weeks  
**Dem:** ive been typing random stuff for weeks n nobody responded  
**Dem:** #REVIVETHECHAT

 

**[Flu joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Bla joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Flu:** Sssshhhh  
**Flu:** Let it die  
**Dem:** cant hold it back anymooooore  
**Bla:** I hate my life  
**Dem:** SEE  
**Dem:** DOES IT HURT TO TALK TO ME  
**Flu:** I’ve been stabbed  
**Bla:** Call an ambulance  
**Dem:** wOw RuDe

 

**[Bea joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bea:** Am I interrupting something?  
**Flu:** R U N  
**Bla:** Stay and suffer like the rest of us  
**Dem:** yall are meaner than updog  
**Flu:** DO NOT  
**Bea:** What’s updog?  
**Dem:** not much, whats up w you  
**Bla:** Just point, laugh and then pretend it didn’t happen, Flug  
**Flu:** GOD BLESS THIS FAMILY CAUSE WE NEED A FUCKING MIRACLE  
**Dem:** cmon guys it was funny  
**Bea:** I don’t get it  
**Flu:** Ignorance is bliss  
**Bla:** No, ignorance gets you killed because if Demencia was a three-headed dog that stupid bear would’ve already been split in two  
**Bea:** </3  
**Bla:** S T O P  
**Bea:** Baby don’t hurt me… don’t hurt me no more…  
**Bla:** …  
**Flu:** some  
**Dem:** _BODY_  
**Dem:** HEY  
**Dem:** WE SHOULD MAKE A MOVIE NIGHT TONIGHT  
**Bla:** No  
**Flu:** Why not? Sounds fun.  
**Bla:** We have other plans.  
**Flu:** Other plans?  
**Flu:** Oh.  
**Flu:** Oooooh.  
**Dem:** what plans  
**Bla:** I’m curious too  
**Flu:** It’s private  
**Bla:** We’re having sex.  
**Flu:** You have invented a new kind of stupid  
**Flu:** A damage you can never undo kind of stupid  
**Flu:** An ‘open all the cages in the zoo’ kind of stupid  
**Flu:** ‘Truly you didn’t think this through?’ kind of stupid  
**Dem:** IT WAS AN ACT OF POLITICAL SACRIFICE  
**Bea:** Since when is talking about your sex life an act of political sacrifice?  
**Flu:** Haaa bitch let me tell you what sacrifice is  
**Flu:** I languished in a loveless marriage in London  
**Bla:** OUR MARRIAGE ISN’T LOVELESS  
**Flu:** Quiet Alexander I’m ranting  
**Bla:**???  
**Flu:** I know my sister like I know my own mind  
**Flu:** You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind  
**Bla:** Aren’t you an only child?  
**Dem:** I’m his sister  
**Flu:** And a million years ago she said to me, ‘this one’s mine’  
**Flu:** So I stood by  
**Flu:** DO YOU KNOW WHY  
**Bea:** What is happening???  
**Dem:** motherfucking magic  
**Bea:** If anything this is telling me Flug and Black Hat need a marriage counselor  
**Dem:** I smell roasted ham  
**Bla:** [Insert suicide joke]  
**Flu:** You should’ve let it die, @Dem  
**Dem:** no ragrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to apologize for trying to die. Thankfully I'm much better now.


	82. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea: Why are we here and not watching the movie?  
> Dem: bc the movie is boring af  
> Bea: But I picked the movie  
> Dem: ex-fucking-actly  
> Bea: ;---;

**[Dem joined: Homobros Inc]  
[Flu joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Dem:** hey flug  
**Flu** : What?  
**Dem:** have u ever been walking down the street with ur best bro and while ur walking u accidentally touch hands?  
**Flu:** I guess?  
**Dem:** u think to urself ‘that was weird but not gay’  
**Dem:** u are  
**Dem:** u are gay  
**Flu:** Damn, Dem, without your assistance I never would’ve realized I had an unbearable desire to suck cocks  
**Flu:** Good job  
**Dem:** just doing my job

 

**[Bla joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bla:** Can you stop texting and watch the fucking movie?  
**Flu:** I can’t, I’m gay  
**Bla:** Vaginas can’t affect your vision, Mr. Doctor  
**Dem:** is that what he calls you in bed  
**Dem:** mr doctor  
**Bla:** Depends  
**Flu:** Sometimes  
**Dem:** thats kinda stupid tho  
**Dem:** like  
**Dem:** isnt mr a way to call someone just like dr  
**Dem:** thats like saying something is blueish blue  
**Flu:** She has a point  
**Bla:** I take that back, her vagina is affecting your vision

 

**[Bea joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bea:** Why are we here and not watching the movie?  
**Dem:** bc the movie is boring af  
**Bea:** But I picked the movie  
**Dem:** ex-fucking-actly  
**Bea:** ;---;  
**Flu:** someBODY  
**Dem:** i love how 505 picked this one movie  
**Bla:** What is the name of this movie?  
**Flu:** Shrek  
**Dem:** thats kinda the sound of paper being torn apart  
**Bea:** It really is  
**Bla:** Does it have gore and blood?  
**Flu:** No but it has memes  
**Bla:** What the fuck is a “meme”  
**Flu:** Oh  
**Dem:** my  
**Bea:** God  
**Bla:** None of you are making sense right now  
**Flu:** I can’t believe we actually worked together to shame Black Hat for not knowing what memes are  
**Bla:** I can’t believe they fear this green monstrosity! I could slice him into a trillion pieces and use them as confetti as I conquer this Farquaad’s entire kingdom.  
**Flu:** That’s not hard, he’s very short  
**Dem:** S M O L  
**Dem:** hey hey  
**Dem:** u know what else of his is small  
**Dem:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**Flu:** It’s time to stop  
**Flu:** It’s time to stop ok  
**Flu:** Where the fuck are your parents  
**Flu:** Who are your parents  
**Dem:** u r my parents  
**Bla:** Remember when we said we found you in a trash can? That’s still valid  
**Dem:** i dont care i love it

 

 

 **Flu:** Am I the only one who thought they were going to say “wipe your ass”?  
**Dem:** wow how dirty minded  
**Flu:** You literally whispered ‘ass’ before it said ‘face’  
**Dem:** pfft who doesnt randomly whisper ass every once in a while  
**Bea:** Me  
**Flu:** Me plus everyone with common sense  
**Dem:** uh  
**Dem:** wait a sec  
**Dem:** bh didnt say anything  
**Bla:** Because I am watching the fucking movie  
**Dem:** so you do admit to saying ass randomly  
**Bla:** Of course not  
**Dem:** this is canon i need to write this on my journal  
**Flu:** What journal?  
**Dem:** the ‘i stalk black hat’ journal  
**Bea:** I like the title  
**Flu:** Don’t encourage her

 

**Flu:** @Bla  
**Bla:** What  
**Flu:** Do you have layers  
**Bla:** Watch the fucking movie  
**Flu:** Can I dissect you?  
**Bla:** Lay one hand on me and we’ll find out how many layers YOU have  
**Dem:** ok ok but like  
**Dem:** hes not an ogre  
**Dem:** hes way hotter  
**Dem:** whats hotter than an onion  
**Bea:** A pepper  
**Dem:** do peppers have layers  
**Flu:** Not really  
**Dem:** what DO peppers have  
**Bea:** They’re long…?  
**Dem:** like black hats dick  
**Flu:** I am shooketh  
**Dem:** are you really  
**Dem:** ur the one who sleeps with him every 5 minutes so tell us  
**Dem:** what does his dick look like  
**Dem:** is it big and red like a pepper  
**Bea:** This is getting a little R-rated for me  
**Flu:** I am not describing my boss’s penis to you  
**Dem:** do it for the memes  
**Flu:** What are we trying to prove here?  
**Flu:** Black Hat isn’t an ogre, he doesn’t have layers  
**Flu:** That’s all there is to know  
**Dem:** yeah but does his penis have layers  
**Flu:** Of course not, it’s part of him  
**Dem:** but hes not his penis  
**Dem:** therefore u cant prove it doesnt have layers  
**Flu:** First of all, yes, he is his penis, because he is a dick  
**Flu:** Second of all, I can assure you that I know more about his penis than any of you  
**Bla:** Are you fucking done with your childish fighting  
**Dem:** hey blackie does your dick have layers  
**Bla:** I don’t have a penis  
**Flu:** Lies  
**Bla:** This reminds me of a story I’ve read somewhere  
**Bla:** A man finds a woman and decides to pleasure her, but, feeling that the length of his penis wasn’t enough, he used a sausage to replace it. The woman never noticed the difference.  
**Flu:** Black Hat  
**Flu:** Did you fuck me with a sausage  
**Flu:** Black Hat  
**Flu:** BLACK HAT  
**Bea:** …………  
**Flu:** ……..  
**Dem:** does a sausage have layers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need answers


	83. Fuck you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dem: HEY GUYS  
> Dem: TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL FUCK YOU DAY

**Dem:** HEY GUYS  
**Dem:** TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL FUCK YOU DAY  
**Flu:** Demencia, stop creating dates  
**Dem:** FUCK YOU  
**Flu:** Ok, that’s rude  
**Bea:** Why you gotta be so rude?  
**Bea:** Don’t you know I’m human too?  
**Dem:** ur a bear  
**Bea:** Bears still have rights ok  
**Dem:** NOT IN TRUMPS AMERICA  
**Flu:** We live in Mexico  
**Dem:** shut up let me believe in peace  
**Bla:** Demencia, why don’t you show some self-love and go fuck yourself?  
**Flu:** Oof  
**Bea:** Ouch  
**Flu:** Owie  
**Bea:** Took too much bone hurting juice  
**Dem:** i have a question  
**Dem:** if u take bone hurting juice while having a boner do u feel pain in ur dick too??  
**Flu:** …Demencia is a species that must be studied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy fuck you day I guess


	84. Ra-Ra-Rasputin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea: Do you guys have any song recommendations?  
> Flu: I know quite a few, actually  
> Bla: Nobody’s interested in your fucking Vocaloid songs, Flug  
> Flu: That hurts

**Bea:** Do you guys have any song recommendations?  
**Flu:** I know quite a few, actually  
**Bla:** Nobody’s interested in your fucking Vocaloid songs, Flug  
**Flu:** That hurts  
**Bla:** I thought you were into that  
**Bea:** Ooooooookay guys we’re heading into a dangerous territory  
**Dem:** i know a good one  
**Dem:** it reminds me of black hat  
**Dem:** it goes like this **  
Dem:** ra ra rasputin  
**Dem:** lover of the russian queen  
**Dem:** they put some poison into his wine  
**Dem:** ra ra rasputin  
**Dem:** russias greatest love machine  
**Dem:** i know his dick is bigger than mine  
**Flu:** You made this last phrase up  
**Dem:** true  
**Dem:** i bet my dick was bigger than his  
**Bea:** Can we focus on something else?  
**Dem:** yeah lets focus on flugs ass instead  
**Flu:** What no  
**Bla:** As long as we talk about something else…  
**Dem:** yeah suuuure  
**Dem:** u just want to talk about flugs ass don’t u  
**Bla:** Yes  
**Dem:** wow that was easy  
**Flu:** One day  
**Flu:** I just want you all to be normal for ONE DAY  
**Bea:** I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re asking too much of them  
**Flu:** Unfortunately  
**Flu:** Demencia, are you drinking water from the toilet again?  
**Flu:** I can hear you slurping from the lab  
**Dem:** hey i dont judge you and ur decision to give your ass to the devil  
**Bea:** I’ve read too much, there’s no hope  
**Flu:** Stop, Demencia, you’re breaking poor 5.0.5  
**Dem:** me? pfft  
**Dem:** wait till he sees all of the 505 x bh fanart out there  
**Bla:** What  
**Bea:** What  
**Flu:** What  
**Dem:** i saw a 505 x me once, wasn’t bad tbh  
**Bea:** Please stop  
**Dem:** just bc u asked politely  
**Bea:** What has my life come to  
**Dem:** becky used to lemme smash  
**Bea:** Can you not  
**Dem:** no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for posting this chapter on Streak of luck by accident ;w;


	85. Game night gone... sexual?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: Ok, you all know the rules, right?  
> Bea: No googling, screenshotting or otherwise cheating  
> Bla: Yes whatever

**Flu:** Ok, you all know the rules, right?  
**Bea:** No googling, screenshotting or otherwise cheating  
**Bla:** Yes whatever  
**Dem:** am i the only one who finds the narrators voice hot  
**Dem:** kinda reminds me of blackie  
**Bla:** Begone thot  
**Dem:** anything for u bby  
**Flu:** LET’S START THIS GAME ALREADY  
**Flu:** And stop flirting with my husband  
**Dem:** wow ur so selfish  
**Bea:** FIRST QUESTION EVERYONE  
**Dem:** im so going to die and im ttly ok with it bc i can hear the narrators voice for longer  
**Flu:** You have issues  
**Flu:** Answered  
**Bla:** That one was easy  
**Dem:** i did that eenie meenie miney mo shit  
**Bea:** I don’t know this one D:  
**Bla:** Well, Demencia’s dead  
**Dem:** ill be dead if u want me to be ;)  
**Bla:** Ew.  
**Flu:** Let’s see what punishment awaits Demencia  
**Bea:** Do we have a floor named The Killing Floor in the manor?  
**Bla:** We used to but I sold the rights of that name to this game  
**Bea:** Ahh, explains a lot  
**Bea:** The finger cutting game?  
**Dem:** i love fingering  
**Flu:** Stop  
**Dem:** so imma have to say goodbye to one of my fingers?  
**Dem:** just cut my dick already i havent used that bitch since 1971  
**Flu:** Choose one and be done with it already!  
**Dem:** jeez fine yall are so rude  
**Dem:** done i chose my pinky  
**Flu:** Which means that if there’s a fifth answer you won’t be able to choose it  
**Dem:** are you fucking with me  
**Flu:** No I don’t want any STDs  
**Bea:** Let’s focus on the game, not on what craws inside Demencia’s entrails  
**Dem:** yeah  
**Dem:** wait what  
**Bla:** An Area 51 question… Flug surely knows this one  
**Flu:** I’ll know every question this game throws at me  
**Flu:** I’ll have you remember I suffer from Savant Syndrome which explains my severe lack of social skills, paranoia, anxiety and crippling depression  
**Dem:** isnt a savant that place in australia  
**Flu:** That’s a Savannah  
**Dem:** then its that guy from the indian tribes  
**Flu:** That’s a Shaman  
**Flu:** CAN WE FOCUS ON THE GAME  
**Bea:** Nooo, I got it wrong!  
**Dem:** same lmao  
**Flu:** Who eats candy with popcorn  
**Bla:** People without diabetes  
**Flu:** No  
**Dem:** so we have to answer and you two will choose between our answers?  
**Bla:** Yes  
**Dem:** sounds fair  
**Bea:** Oh man  
**Bla:** Stop your fucking whining, the time’s almost up  
**Flu:** It’s up  
**Flu:** …I can already tell which one of you wrote ‘my ass’  
**Dem:** shame on you, fives  
**Bea:** BUT I DIDN’T  
**Bla:** Fuck this, already picked the worst answer  
**Flu:** Me too  
**Dem:** YAY I GOT PICKED  
**Bla:** THAT’S NOT A GOOD THING YOU BRAINLESS REPTILE  
**Flu:** You’re going to die  
**Dem:** that narrator can kill me all he wants  
**Dem:** HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME  
**Flu:** I need pills  
**Bla:** The next question is about girl scout cookies?  
**Flu:** Not even I know that answer considering SOMEONE scares them all away  
**Bla:** You know I’m allergic to good deeds  
**Bla:** And helping failed abortions in uniforms is the goodest of deeds  
**Flu:** ‘Goodest’ isn’t a word  
**Bla:** Suck my cock  
**Flu:** …  
**Flu:** Meet me in your office in five minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia Murder Party is great


	86. [Insert Ducktales theme song]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: What would happen if we all had theme songs?  
> Dem: mine is sexy and i know it  
> Dem: no wait thatd be bhs theme song

**Flu:** What would happen if we all had theme songs?  
**Dem:** mine is sexy and i know it  
**Dem:** no wait thatd be bhs theme song  
**Bea:** What would mine be?  
**Dem:** the backyardigans opening theme  
**Bea:** Oh  
**Dem:** flugs theme song is “my whole family thinks im gay”  
**Dem:** or maybe “gay or european”  
**Dem:** or even “im not gay”  
**Flu:** Can I have a theme song that doesn’t involve my questionable sexuality?  
**Dem:** now ur asking too much of me  
**Dem:** oh oh  
**Dem:** how about “its ok to be gay”  
**Flu:** Stop

 

**[Bla joined: Homobros Inc]**

**Bla:** What the fuck is happening? My phone won’t stop buzzing  
**Dem:** just cause im afraid of the snow or my favorite color is _THE RAINBOOOOOW_  
**Bea:** Demencia’s trying to find a theme song for us  
**Flu:** So far I’m stuck with all of the gay songs ¬.¬  
**Dem:** come on dont tell me that isnt you  
**Dem:** maybe its cause of the way that you walk  
**Dem:** makes them think you like  
**Flu:** Boys  
**Dem:** cock  
**Flu:** Stop  
**Bea:** My theme song is the Backyardigans’ opening theme  
**Bla:** My condolences  
**Bea:** ):  
**Dem:** bhs theme song must be rasputin  
**Bla:** Ah, yes, I remember that man  
**Bla:** Quite a ruthless idiot, if you ask me  
**Dem:** if ur rasputin can i be the russian queen  
**Flu:** Bitch no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello i am mentally broken
> 
> help


	87. If you like it then you should put a ring on it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flu: I just found a ring while coming back from shopping  
> Bea: Wow, that’s lucky  
> Dem: put ur dick in it  
> Flu: What’s with you and your obsession for putting my dick in things?

**Flu:** Holy shit  
**Dem:** what?  
**Flu:** I just found a ring while coming back from shopping  
**Bea:** Wow, that’s lucky  
**Dem:** put ur dick in it  
**Flu:** What’s with you and your obsession for putting my dick in things?  
**Flu:** Wait, I think there’s a name in here  
**Bea:** :o  
**Flu:** Marcio  
**Dem:** marcio u fucked up boi  
**Bla:** What is this nonsense so early in the morning?  
**Dem:** flug is divorcing u to marry marcio  
**Flu:** Demencia shut up  
**Flu:** I found a ring on the streets  
**Bea:** What are you gonna do with it?  
**Flu:** Keep it, I guess  
**Flu:** I could sell it for some extra money  
**Dem:** money ur gonna spend on plane porn  
**Flu:** What the hell Demencia  
**Flu:** I’ll just spent it on regular planes  
**Dem:** ahhhh  
**Dem:** u prefer rectal pleasure i see ;)))  
**Flu:** Someone ban her from this country  
**Bla:** That begs the question  
**Bla:** Flug, why do you never wear the ring I bought you?  
**Flu:** Oh, I’m sorry, you mean the _CURSED_ one?  
**Bla:** Yes  
**Flu:** Jfc I am the only sane member of this chat  
**Bea:** Hey, what about me D:  
**Flu:** Oh sorry  
**Flu:** Jfc I am the only sane adult member of this chat  
**Bea:** That didn’t help much  
**Flu:** I’m an engineer, not a psychologist  
**Bla:** Well, I was going to do paperwork today, but now you’ve given me something to do~

 

**[Bla left: Homobros Inc]**

 

 **Dem:** ooooo  
**Flu:** Please don’t tell me you’re going to hunt this Marcio down  
**Bea:** Aren’t there like hundreds of Marcios in Mexico?  
**Dem:** another subspecies goes instinct  
**Dem:** thats so sad, alexa play despacito

 

**[Flu left: Homobros Inc]**

**Bea:** Should we be worried?  
**Dem:** ummm  
**Dem:** nah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That literally happened to me. I now have 300 reais. 
> 
> No, I'm not going to buy plane dildos. I already have those.


	88. Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dem: u know what else is beautiful  
> Flu: What?

**[Private conversation between: Flu/Dem]**

**Dem:** hey flug  
**Dem:** the stars r beautiful tonight arent they  
**Flu:** I guess…?  
**Dem:** u know what else is beautiful  
**Flu:** What?  
**Dem:**

 

**[Flu has blocked: Dem]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least she didn't say Black Hat.


	89. "I raised them without supervision and they lived" - Black Hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something for my upcoming fanfic, which is an AU based on a movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And no, I have not given up on Streak of luck. It's almost done.

**Dem:** hey bro  
**Dem:** bro  
**Dem:** bro  
**Dem:** aro  
**Dem:** bro  
**Dem:** aro aro aro  
**Flu:** Demmy, it’s been five minutes  
**Flu:** You shouldn’t be texting in class  
**Dem:** well ur texting in class 2 so BUSTED  
**Flu:** Only because you wouldn’t stop making my phone buzz  
**Flu:** It’s on silent! How did you do that?  
**Dem:** i have my waysssss  
**Dem:** but i shall remind u im the daughter of black hat  
**Dem:** i have demon power rushing in my veins  
**Flu:** ….You’re adopted  
**Dem:** what??? D:  
**Flu:** Seriously? You’ve known it for the past seven years  
**Dem:** NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
**Flu:** I thought a school for villains would be less boring  
**Dem:** geez lighten up  
**Dem:** u get to do all this cool stuff  
**Dem:** and u dont even do that  
**Dem:** like  
**Dem:** u could make those jerks that bully you die  
**Flu:** I don’t want them to die…  
**Dem:** y not  
**Flu:** Are you seriously asking me this question right now?  
**Dem:** ur such a baby  
**Dem:** u and that stupid bat thingy  
**Flu:** 5.0.5 isn’t stupid  
**Dem:** yeah he is  
**Dem:** all he does is fly around and eat mosquitos  
**Flu:** That’s exactly what you do, except you don’t fly  
**Dem:** yeah but i wreck havoc  
**Flu:** *Wreak havoc  
**Dem:** shush  
**Dem:** anyway  
**Dem:** dads worried about u  
**Flu:** What should he be worried about?  
**Dem:** well for starters youre a total weirdo  
**Flu:** That’s very straightforward of you  
**Dem:** and second u keep being bullied  
**Dem:** i keep having to defend u  
**Dem:** when u gonna stand up for urself?  
**Flu:** They’ll get bored of me eventually  
**Dem:** D U D E  
**Dem:** they should be bowing to u  
**Dem:** my class does  
**Dem:** we’re black fucking hats children  
**Dem:** we take shit from no one  
**Flu:** I’d appreciate if you stopped swearing, it’s making 5.0.5 uncomfortable  
**Dem:** holy shit chiaro  
**Dem:** we need outside help  
**Dem:** im calling the drug dealers

 

**[Dem left: Homobros Inc]**

**Flu:** Drug dealers?  
**Flu:** Demmy??  
**Flu:** Don’t log out on me  
**Flu:** DEMENCIA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flug ended up having to leave class early.


	90. Send n00ds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea: What happened?  
> Bla: I stooped to Demencia’s level and she blocked me

**Dem:** hey blackie  
**Bla:** What do you want, vermin?  
**Dem:** send nudes  
**Bla:** No  
**Dem:** please?  
**Bla:** No  
**Dem:** please please  
**Dem:** please  
**Dem:** please  
**Dem:** please  
**Dem:** please  
**Dem:** please  
**Bla:** FINE  
**Bla:** Enjoy  
**Bla** :   
**Dem:** whats that  
**Bla:** What you ~~asked~~ pitifully begged for  
**Dem:** um  
**Dem:** those r dunes  
**Dem:** i mean i could def fap to that  
**Dem:** but i want ur nudes bby  
**Dem:** please  
**Bla:** Fine, just shut up  
**Bla:**  
**Dem:** those r dudes  
**Bla:**  
**Dem:** r u even serious anymore  
**Bla:**  
**Dem:** stop  
**Bla:**  
**Bla:**

 

**[Dem blocked: Bla]**

**Bla:** @Flu, my devious genius!  
**Bla:** It worked!  
**Flu:** I told you it would  
**Flu:** Works every time  
**Bea:** What happened?  
**Bla:** I stooped to Demencia’s level and she blocked me  
**Bea:** Good thing I already ordered a bible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> n00t n00t


	91. It gets worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Santa: Um, guys, I just arrived and what is happening?  
> Tik tak: I’m making a deal  
> Tik tak: And if Black Hat backs out he will be in trouble with his bitch  
> Fly: Who are you calling a bitch??  
> Tik tak: No one in particular, but if the shoe fits…

**[Admin Dem added: White Hat :D]**  
**[Admin Dem added: Dr. Tak]**  
 **[Admin Dem added: TwilightSparkle]**  
 **[Admin Dem added: 666]**  


**Dem:** shit yall got boring af names  
**Dem:** im changing this shit

 

 **[Admin Dem changed White Hat :D’s name to: Why thot]**  
**[Admin Dem changed Dr. Tak’s name to: Tik tak]**  
 **[Admin Dem changed TwilightSparkle’s name to: Ho lee fuk]**  
 **[Admin Dem changed 666’s name to: Satan]**  
 **[Admin Dem changed their name to: Ding dong]**  
 **[Admin Ding dong changed Flu’s name to: Fly]**  
 **[Admin Ding dong changed Bea’s name to: Santa]**  
 **[Admin Ding dong changed Bla’s name to: Blackie-chan]**

**Why thot:** Oh! Is this what you youngsters call a “social network”? Fascinating! :D  
**Tik tak:** ‘Social network’? Seriously?  
**Fly:** Trust me, Black Hat is as much of an old man as White Hat is  
**Tik tak:** One of the few things they have in common  
**Ding dong:** AYO TAKKY BOI  
**Tik tak:** You don’t have permission to call me that  
**Ho lee fuk:** and you don’t have permission to be a grumpy-pants!!  
**Ding dong:** AYY  
**Ho lee fuk:** AYY  
**Tik tak:** It’s like I’ve just witnessed an orgy of stupidity  
**Tik tak:** If you excuse me, I’m going to blow my brains out  
**Why thot:** No, Tak!! Don’t do that!! D:  
**Fly:** Yeah, it’ll be a bitch to clean  
**Fly:** Hang yourself instead  
**Tik tak:** Fuck you  
**Fly:** I’m married  
**Tik tak:** So am I, and you don’t see me boasting about it like a thirsty gold-digger  
**Fly:** If I was married to White Hat I wouldn’t want to tell anyone either  
**Why thot:** Hey!! :(  
**Why thot:** You’re hurting my feelings  
**Fly:** Bitch, do I look like I give a fuck  
**Why thot:** Maybe?  
**Tik tak:** Like Black Hat’s any better  
**Tik tak:** It took him three times to realize what Boku no Pico was about  
**Fly:** So what? I bet White Hat doesn’t even know what anime is  
**Why thot:** You are really hurting my feelings right now :(  
**Fly:** Guess what?  
**Fly:** I don’t give a flying fuck  
**Fly:** So go away or suck my dick, idiot  
**Blackie-chan:** That’s my boy  
**Tik tak:** He would if there was anything to suck  
**Fly:** How dare you  
**Tik tak:** How dare YOU  
**Why thot:** Thank you, Dr. Tak ^^  
**Tik tak:** Only I can call this idiot an idiot  
**Why thot:** I… thank you?  
**Fly:** What the fuck, Black Hat? Were you just watching the whole time?  
**Blackie-chan:** Your cock fight was entertaining **  
Ding dong:** @Ho lee fuk do u want some popcorn  
**Ho lee fuk:** why yes thank you  
**Tik tak:** Your husband fucked you with a sausage  
**Fly:** He did not  
**Blackie-chan:** How the fuck do you know that?

 

 **Tik tak:** This has been a very awkward five minutes  
**Tik tak:** But it doesn’t matter  
**Blackie-chan:** Why the fuck not  
**Fly:** Black Hat, _what the fuck_.  
**Ding dong:** oooh he used a period  
**Ho lee fuk:** periods are serious business  
**Tik tak:** Pay me a thousand dollars and I won’t tell anyone what you did last night  
**Tik tak:** Did he just log out?  
**Blackie-chan:** Shut up, I’m considering  
**Fly:** You’re _considering_.  
**Ding dong:** there it is again  
**Ho lee fuk:** @Blackie-chan I’d be scared if I were you  
**Blackie-chan:** ….  
**Blackie-chan:** Deal  
**Fly:** What.  
**Fly:** Did.  
**Fly:** You.  
**Fly:** Do.  
**Santa:** Um, guys, I just arrived and what is happening?  
**Tik tak:** I’m making a deal  
**Tik tak:** And if Black Hat backs out he will be in trouble with his bitch  
**Fly:** Who are you calling a bitch??  
**Tik tak:** No one in particular, but if the shoe fits…  
**Why thot:** Takky, don’t be mean D:  
**Tik tak:** 1) Put your nonexistent nose on my business and I will not have sex with you for a year  
**Tik tak:** 2) Call me ‘Takky’ again and I won’t have sex with you for a century  
**Tik tak:** And, since you’ve made me immortal, I can afford waiting a hundred years or so  
**Why thot:** …Carry on  
**Blackie-chan:** He’s got you wrapped around his finger, huh?  
**Why thot:** At least I have enough confidence in my genitalia to not use a product made of pigs’ guts to have sex with my loved one  
**Why thot:** Can you get salmonella from this?  
**Blackie-chan:** Fight me, bitch  
**Why thot:** I normally would solve this in a civilized, calm manner over a nice cup of tea with biscuits, but…  
**Why thot:** THIS  
**Why thot:** IS  
**Why thot:** SPARTA

 

 **[Why thot left: Homobros Inc]**  
**[Blackie-chan left: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Tik tak left: Homobros Inc]**  
 **[Fly left: Homobros Inc]**

**Ding dong:** how long till they start an orgy?  
**Ho lee fuk:** give em five minutes  
**Ho lee fuk:** and vodka  
**Ho lee fuk:  
Ho lee fuk: ** and a stripper pole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for having disappeared off the face of the earth, I've been preparing to travel with my mom and sister :3 it's gonna be sweet.
> 
> Anyway, here's White Hat and Tak (who should be Dr. Slug).


End file.
